trashalready
professional lurker
- May 10, 2022
- 2
It's crazy to think how many things happen in such a short period of time. I've never been a fan of posting stuff on forums, but I kinda feel like doing it today.
So, yes, I tried CTB. Did I go for SN? Of course not, that's why I'm still here, kek. I tried hanging myself (for the third time in my life, I know, I really need to change my methods) but got caught by one of my relatives. I guess many know how that deal goes: get caught, family freaks the fuck out, then treat you like the crazy schizo mentally ill family member and send you to a psychiatrist and counselor until they forget you tried to CTB. And you know what's worse? It kinda worked for a while; I got a new job, started hanging out with my friends more, learned (kinda) how to play an instrument, etc.
But this shit still feels wrong, I still want to go. I feel lonely as fuck, I've started distancing from those around me again, I can't express my feelings or communicate what I want; I let others hurt me and I hurt others and just don't want that anymore. I'm afraid I'll never change and I guess I also don't want to put in the effort it requires. Life is just too fucking much sometimes and I feel like it wont get better, nothing is gonna be enough. The future is so uncertain and I just want to stop worrying about what the fuck I'll have to do to survive it.
I'm honestly so tired. This two years I've had suicidal thoughts in the back of my head and haven't been able to make them fucking stop, even with therapy. I just want the world and everybody to fuck off but at that point it's better if I fuck off myself.
I found DMC's site in November 2024 and I'm planning to CTB one last time later this year (gotta get some shit done with those around me before leaving).
So, after that unnecesary fucking wall of text, I'll ask the next question:
Anyone knows if DMC's SN has some sort of expiry date I have to be aware of? I read somewhere here that SN is good for 10 months after opening it, but no one's mentioned anything expiry about DMC's.
lmao, I guess that's it. I'm planning on buying SN off DMC and preparing everything else for later this year but I don't want to buy it too early and have it not work on my when the day comes. Any answers are greatly appreciated.
So, yes, I tried CTB. Did I go for SN? Of course not, that's why I'm still here, kek. I tried hanging myself (for the third time in my life, I know, I really need to change my methods) but got caught by one of my relatives. I guess many know how that deal goes: get caught, family freaks the fuck out, then treat you like the crazy schizo mentally ill family member and send you to a psychiatrist and counselor until they forget you tried to CTB. And you know what's worse? It kinda worked for a while; I got a new job, started hanging out with my friends more, learned (kinda) how to play an instrument, etc.
But this shit still feels wrong, I still want to go. I feel lonely as fuck, I've started distancing from those around me again, I can't express my feelings or communicate what I want; I let others hurt me and I hurt others and just don't want that anymore. I'm afraid I'll never change and I guess I also don't want to put in the effort it requires. Life is just too fucking much sometimes and I feel like it wont get better, nothing is gonna be enough. The future is so uncertain and I just want to stop worrying about what the fuck I'll have to do to survive it.
I'm honestly so tired. This two years I've had suicidal thoughts in the back of my head and haven't been able to make them fucking stop, even with therapy. I just want the world and everybody to fuck off but at that point it's better if I fuck off myself.
I found DMC's site in November 2024 and I'm planning to CTB one last time later this year (gotta get some shit done with those around me before leaving).
So, after that unnecesary fucking wall of text, I'll ask the next question:
Anyone knows if DMC's SN has some sort of expiry date I have to be aware of? I read somewhere here that SN is good for 10 months after opening it, but no one's mentioned anything expiry about DMC's.
lmao, I guess that's it. I'm planning on buying SN off DMC and preparing everything else for later this year but I don't want to buy it too early and have it not work on my when the day comes. Any answers are greatly appreciated.
