• Hey Guest,

    An update on the OFCOM situation: As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. OFCOM, the UK’s communications regulator, has singled out our community, demanding compliance with their Online Safety Act despite our minimal UK presence. This is a blatant overreach, and they have been sending letters pressuring us to comply with their censorship agenda.

    Our platform is already blocked by many UK ISPs, yet they continue their attempts to stifle free speech. Standing up to this kind of regulatory overreach requires lots of resources to maintain our infrastructure and fight back against these unjust demands. If you value our community and want to support us during this time, we would greatly appreciate any and all donations.

    Read more about the situation here: Click to View Post

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
G

GraySloth

New Member
Jan 26, 2025
1
I have been suicidal since I was a young child. Since nearly as far back as I can remember I have despised being alive. That feeling has never changed, never wavered, in all this time not once, not for a single moment. If anything it has only gotten worse. I can hardly believe it honestly, if it wasn't so horrible, so miserable, I might even laugh at how perfectly life conspires to torture me. For a long time, I kept going with the attitude of "Just one more day" and back then one more day wasn't so bad, eventually that didn't work anymore and I started trying to leave but that didn't work out, so I just gave up on that. Then I just decided to "live with it", I just won't care anymore, eventually the reaper would come for me, and in the meantime, nothing matters, so I don't gotta worry about anything. So I just lived with a stoic detachment from it all, and I wouldn't describe that as good or nice, but it's tolerable. I have done some stuff along the way, acquired some nice things, made some friends even, but I fucking hate it all. It all causes me nothing but grief. I regret it, I regret making it this far, I just can't believe it. I just can't believe I am here wishing I could tell myself 15 years ago "It gets so much worse than you can imagine, maybe try to leave a little harder" At this point I don't leave purely out of stubbornness, that after all of this, I shouldn't be the one who has to do it. It's almost funny to be here still and wishing that I wasn't, doing all the things that should make it better but somehow only make it worse. How long can it go on? How much worse could it get? It's such a fine balance too because if it gets too much worse an exit might present itself so it really has to ride that line between "this fucking sucks!" and "holy fuck a way out!" So here I am, lower than I have ever been, lower than I could have ever imagined being. At this point, all day every day, I just pray for the end of the world.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: lawlietsph, bigbang33, divinemistress36 and 8 others
human909

human909

Banned
Dec 30, 2024
594
Hello and welcome to the site, I also hate myself for making this far into life. I hope you find peace soon.
 
  • Like
Reactions: APeacefulPlace, parasite_eve, 8leveloquenfrn4evr8 and 1 other person
LilyLaroux2000

LilyLaroux2000

fairy
May 5, 2024
62
I can relate... Its aweful... And even my friends in here are trying to make me stay... I hate it so much, it only makes me feel so much saddness and regret. Maybe we could be friends and find a way out together...? Its really hard for me to get any SN or a gun or anything because I live in Europe... Its really sad how people just cant accept death.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: GraySloth and APeacefulPlace
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,478
I understand as I've always hated existing as well, for me wanting to die really is all I know, more than anything I wish I never suffered in this existence at all but anyway I hope that you find peace.
 
  • Like
Reactions: GraySloth
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,137
Over 20 years for me. Our souls are so tired
 
  • Like
Reactions: GraySloth and S like suicide
lawlietsph

lawlietsph

can we be done here
May 6, 2023
248
I enjoyed to read your thoughts, and the words are 100% relatable. In my case, it's been going on for 15 years and honestly nothing ever gets better.
 
  • Like
Reactions: GraySloth