
SanctionedSkittles
Skittles
- Feb 17, 2022
- 13
Yesterday was beautiful, and all I could think about was what a perfect day it would have been to die.
I got off the bus in the evening just as the sun set, and the sky was cloudless, with a very beautiful gradient from black to blue to orange. My favourite music was playing. It was chilly out, but my jacket kept me the perfect temperature, and it felt like I was being hugged in a warm blanket. It was silent, dark, and there was nobody around. The sky was so beautiful that I almost teared up, and my breath literally shook. There was this pressure that formed in my chest, and a feeling of nostalgia.
I had to stop and just look up to appreciate how perfect the general atmosphere was. I was feeling great, I was for once not at all depressed, and was even feeling elated. All I could think about was how perfect it would be if I died right there and then.
Of course, reality set when a car drove by, and I became self-aware of having a stupid expression and just staring up at nothing with my mouth open.
Now, the next day, I'm just lying in bed regretting and missing that feeling. The brief moment of no anxiety, no depression, no survival instinct, and no fear of death.
I got off the bus in the evening just as the sun set, and the sky was cloudless, with a very beautiful gradient from black to blue to orange. My favourite music was playing. It was chilly out, but my jacket kept me the perfect temperature, and it felt like I was being hugged in a warm blanket. It was silent, dark, and there was nobody around. The sky was so beautiful that I almost teared up, and my breath literally shook. There was this pressure that formed in my chest, and a feeling of nostalgia.
I had to stop and just look up to appreciate how perfect the general atmosphere was. I was feeling great, I was for once not at all depressed, and was even feeling elated. All I could think about was how perfect it would be if I died right there and then.
Of course, reality set when a car drove by, and I became self-aware of having a stupid expression and just staring up at nothing with my mouth open.
Now, the next day, I'm just lying in bed regretting and missing that feeling. The brief moment of no anxiety, no depression, no survival instinct, and no fear of death.