a thread of light

[so tired or manic]

I was told to call for a surgery consultation. One I desperately need. I worked up the courage. And was hung up on after giving my name. The email never told me who to talk to so I don't know if I pressed the right buttons.

I'm shaking terribly. I suppose I should try again tomorrow.

I just. I'm probably going to somehow have get a loan to pay for it, which is 100% guarantee of denial. I suppose I could see if GoFundMe would help. It all feels so pointless right now and I'm about to collapse from the social anxiety.

e: the child mentioned here https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ptsd-side-effect.44008/ is back. I probably should go for a walk.

 

[WinterFaust]

I'm so sorry you're in such anguish but making that call was a big deal! And even considering it for tomorrow is a big deal too! Especially considering how stressful this was for you. I hope you do take that walk and reward yourself with some type of play or relaxation.

Sorry to be overly positive here. I see that you're stressed and anxious. That's very real and valid.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

You made a first step. Even if nothing has literally changed you overcame part of a mental hurdle and you should feel good about that. Keep moving forwards, I hope this goes well.

 

[Sinai Silence]

All the best to you, it must have taken a lot of strength to make that call. Im sure you'll be able to do it again tomorrow!

 

[so tired or manic]

they won't take my insurance. now I can get the insurance they want me to have, I just don't have anyone to talk to in order to make it happen. they need me to get Medicaid, but I can't get the Obamacare version because I'm disabled. have to get it through county, which the rules are different and in the end I have to pay around $60 to use it. I was in a program a mental hospital had set me up with that covered the cost, but that was so long ago I wouldn't know who to contact now. I'm pretty sure I got kicked out of it for not seeing a therapist.

I actually have no idea if I have Medicaid, down payment or not, so I guess the best way to start is to figure that out.