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mysideofthemountain

Member
Dec 7, 2024
44
I am using this as a place to dump my thoughts.

First of all this is a great compilation resource: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

I am looking into methods. I don't want to leave any room for error (so, once I jumped from the second story and that didn't work. I should have chosen a higher floor but those are less accessible where I live) but I also am hoping to not take a particularly violent method (jumping from a height might qualify, but so might guns). Because of this I have narrowed to these options after my short exploration:
1) SN
2) Inert Gas

My goal is to find something that is quick, easy, and lethal. This goal is proving to be at odds with the two choices I am most interested in. SN does not seem to be easy to source in the US anymore. I blame the NYT article about this site. Inert gas is quick to occur but not quick to setup (thus not easy) or accumulate materials for (so just not quick).

By quick I also would like something I could presumably do tomorrow or the next day. So quick doesn't mean quickly lethal (though it means that too) but also quickly accessible. There is overlap with the meanings of easy and quick.

Where does this leave me?

Guns. A violent method.

I don't want a violent method. Obviously guns have a high lethality but there is room for error, which I find more concerning with a gun than I would with something like inert gas. Call it vanity. I like being hot.

But where I live in the US guns are easy to purchase, quickly available, and lethal. They meet all my criteria except non violent.

Still thinking and exploring options. As I indicated in the title I've been looking for 24 hours
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
450
Partial and full suspension require planning but are theoretically nonviolent, quick, and painless if done correctly. Very easy to mess up though. As with guns, mistakes or being found too early can lead to severe injuries and brain damage that can leave you an empty shell for the rest of your life.
 
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mysideofthemountain

Member
Dec 7, 2024
44
Partial and full suspension require planning but are theoretically nonviolent, quick, and painless if done correctly. Very easy to mess up though. As with guns, mistakes or being found too early can lead to severe injuries and brain damage that can leave you an empty shell for the rest of your life.
I must have missed those options in the mega thread. In fairness it is a lot of information and I did not read all of it yet. I sort of keyed it on things that seemed to meet my criteria.

What are partial and full suspension? Why are they easy to mess up?
 
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babouflo201223

Experienced
Aug 18, 2024
270
La suspension partielle ou totale nécessite une planification, mais elle est théoriquement non violente, rapide et indolore si elle est effectuée correctement. Il est cependant très facile de se tromper. Comme pour les armes à feu, les erreurs ou le fait d'être découvert trop tôt peuvent entraîner des blessures graves et des lésions cérébrales qui peuvent vous laisser comme une coquille vide pour le reste de votre vie.
Unfortunately, full suspension isn't painless at all, it's extremely painless during 12-20 seconds even if made without errors. And it's violent in all cases. It's a pity because it was my first choice but I'm now trying to find something else, I don't know if it's possible actually. Peaceful, painless, fast, easy and without complicated system to build seems quite impossible.
Malheureusement, la suspension intégrale n'est pas indolore du tout, elle est extrêmement indolore pendant 12-20 secondes même si elle est réalisée sans erreur. Et elle est violente dans tous les cas. C'est dommage car c'était mon premier choix mais je cherche maintenant autre chose, je ne sais pas si c'est possible en fait. Tranquille, indolore, rapide, facile et sans système compliqué à construire me semble assez impossible.
Sorry, I wanted to wtite "extremely painful during 12-20 seconds even when it's made without errors"
 
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mysideofthemountain

Member
Dec 7, 2024
44
Unfortunately, full suspension isn't painless at all, it's extremely painless during 12-20 seconds even if made without errors. And it's violent in all cases. It's a pity because it was my first choice but I'm now trying to find something else, I don't know if it's possible actually. Peaceful, painless, fast, easy and without complicated system to build seems quite impossible.

Sorry, I wanted to wtite "extremely painful during 12-20 seconds even when it's made without errors"
Où est-ce qu'on trouve les ressources initiales que t'as cité ici?

And yes it seems like peaceful, fast and easy/no complicated system AND effective is impossible.

I'm beginning to lean guns.
 
avalokitesvara

avalokitesvara

bodhisattva
Nov 28, 2024
222
In my research there seems to be no method that is at the centre of the venn diagram of quick + easy + painless + guaranteed lethal + gentle/non-violent + readily accessible

You can have quick and lethal and painless and easy but violent: gunshot (if you can access a suitable firearm), possibly hanging.
You can have lethal and painless and gentle(ish) but difficult and slow (according to your criteria): SN
You can have quick and lethal and easy but painful and violent: plenty, including poisoning with household chemicals, hanging probably, drowning, jumping from a suitable height, train, automobile, petrol immolation…

There's also like exposure/hypothermia which aren't recommended though they might fulfil all the criteria, but is truly a slow process, during which time you could be rescued/back out.

So you're going to have to pick which criteria you can bear to let go of. If you're really serious about ctb I think it will have to be violence and/or pain and/or easiness. If you really really want to go you could jump in the nearest body of water with weights. Easy and quick and effective but absolutely horrible to contemplate. But it would be over pretty quick. I think hanging also fits in this niche.

At the end of the day it's finding a balance between what you want to prioritise and what you can tolerate. For some, going through the process of sourcing and waiting for SN is going to be worth it bc they are unable to compromise on any of the other criteria. Everyone's going to come to a different conclusion. It is so shit that humane euthanasia is not available, where we could fulfil all the criteria, so those who really want to die have to go through something that they'd rather not do just because that's their only option.
 
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mysideofthemountain

Member
Dec 7, 2024
44
At the end of the day it's finding a balance between what you want to prioritise and what you can tolerate. For some, going through the process of sourcing and waiting for SN is going to be worth it bc they are unable to compromise on any of the other criteria. Everyone's going to come to a different conclusion. It is so shit that humane euthanasia is not available, where we could fulfil all the criteria, so those who really want to die have to go through something that they'd rather not do just because that's their only option.
Yeah I think you're right. If I had SN easily available I would take that option tomorrow or the next day. I don't think that's going to happen.

Instead I think I need to come up with a plan involving firearms. Access likely isn't the problem. I live in a place where I can get them very easily. I think my issue is the violence and fear of failure. Obviously many methods have a margin of error for failure but firearms have the potential to make life even more miserable. Finding a way to ensure success is critical.

I wonder how long you feel pain after being shot in the head…
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,130
I also just wish for the option to die painlessly in an accessible way, it feels so cruel to me how it's so difficult to die, I wish I could just simply die in peace and never suffer ever again and it always feels so dreadful to me how I cannot just have that option. But anyway I wish you the best.
 
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mysideofthemountain

Member
Dec 7, 2024
44
I also just wish for the option to die painlessly in an accessible way, it feels so cruel to me how it's so difficult to die, I wish I could just simply die in peace and never suffer ever again and it always feels so dreadful to me how I cannot just have that option. But anyway I wish you the best.
I want that option too. But as the Adjuster has shown us: sometimes violence is necessary