Advice on what to include in suicide note to make things less traumatic for family

[Pryras]

I will be leaving a note but I'm not sure what to say to make the experience less traumatic. My mother is going to go manic but is there anything I can include that would make things less traumatic? Besides that it wasn't her fault.

 

[mnguy]

make sure you say that you love her and there was nothing she could have said or done to prevent this ...

 

[AnderDethsky]

I'll share one of the best things I've heard about notes:

The main question that any of your relatives ones may have is "Why are you ctb?" If you decide to answer it in a note, then:

Do not describe the entire decision-making process (in which arguments against suicide could be found). Talk only about the reasons why you decided to do this.

It is best if there is something as it that the survivors will be able to understand, but will not be able to challenge. And there is a way to achieve this — to emphasize your subjective reaction.

Instead of citing some event as the reason for leaving, explain the reason as your reaction and feelings about it. This is much more difficult to challenge, because someone else could have reacted differently, but they are not you. Given your situation, you had options, but you decided to choose the one that you thought was the best.

Your family may still feel guilty for not making a difference, but the situation could have been very different and you would have decided to CTB anyway, because in the end it was your decision. By describing your death as a decision, you take responsibility for your actions, whereas if your death is an event, then it's not your fault at all: it was just a deterministic consequence of your situation that only other people could change. Taking responsibility can take the burden of responsibility and guilt off your loved ones.

P.S: If I wanted to leave a suicide note, this advice literally saved me from having to write an entire bible dedicated to each of my painful experiences for my parents, which could also be interpreted in different ways.

Spoiler: Source

https://archive.ashspace.org/ashbusstop.org/Note.html

 

[Shadows From Hell]

Honestly, nothing you write will make it less traumatic. They will still feel that guilt no matter what the note says.

 

[needthebus]

Honestly, nothing you write will make it less traumatic. They will still feel that guilt no matter what the note says.

It's sort of true, but I don't know.

It's like pain will be excruciating the first year, but then 4 of 5 years later it may be only horrible agonizing pain that sometimes hurts less.

I lost someone close to me and wish there had been resolution for any problems between us instead of it being bitter. I don't know if a note would have made things better, everything is ruined. The person told me things before about how sad they are, but... it's like it doesn't register, I'm just upset.

I think if I had gotten something nice beforehand, just describing things in a nice way, I'd still feel bad, but it would be slightly less, just a tiny amount. The pain is mostly from the loss, like what I wanted to do with this person, how I wanted us to be happy and not be yelled at, and how I abandoned this person somewhat because of the yelling and inability the person after insults and yelling.

But it may not matter? Suicide is extremely selfish, but sometimes people are in unbearable pain, it's doesn't make it not selfish

Have you tried all the options for staying alive? Therapy, exercise, Psychiatry, the whole gamut? I have had bad experiences with those things, but sometimes it works for some people I guess. I hope your situation improves and you become happy and don't have to do anything.

 

[Pryras]

I'll share one of the best things I've heard about notes:

The main question that any of your relatives ones may have is "Why are you ctb?" If you decide to answer it in a note, then:

Do not describe the entire decision-making process (in which arguments against suicide could be found). Talk only about the reasons why you decided to do this.

It is best if there is something as it that the survivors will be able to understand, but will not be able to challenge. And there is a way to achieve this — to emphasize your subjective reaction.

Instead of citing some event as the reason for leaving, explain the reason as your reaction and feelings about it. This is much more difficult to challenge, because someone else could have reacted differently, but they are not you. Given your situation, you had options, but you decided to choose the one that you thought was the best.

Your family may still feel guilty for not making a difference, but the situation could have been very different and you would have decided to CTB anyway, because in the end it was your decision. By describing your death as a decision, you take responsibility for your actions, whereas if your death is an event, then it's not your fault at all: it was just a deterministic consequence of your situation that only other people could change. Taking responsibility can take the burden of responsibility and guilt off your loved ones.

P.S: If I wanted to leave a suicide note, this advice literally saved me from having to write an entire bible dedicated to each of my painful experiences for my parents, which could also be interpreted in different ways.

Spoiler: Source

https://archive.ashspace.org/ashbusstop.org/Note.html

Very helpful thank you

 

[Just_Another_Person]

In my "note" I will simply say "It isn't anybody's fault, I made this decision alone" (even though it is partial lie, they have some fault). It will also says that my bode should be cremated and instructions of what to do with my ashes.

 

[N7_Alliance_Marine]

Just don't pull a 13 reasons why and that would be fine.

 

[endofline2010]

Any chance you could make it look like natural causes or an accident? Drug OD could be accidental. Then you don't leave a note, and people will assume you just partied a little too much or were in too much pain. You just have to tell the people you care about you love them and thank them without looking sus.

 

[Pryras]

I wish I had an illness of some kind so it would be more acceptable for me to go. Even if it's painful and excruciating and takes a while it would make the mental side of things for my family a tad easier. Living for the sake of others is hard.