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LOVE !
- Sep 30, 2024
- 130
People who don't want to listen will never listen no matter what you say or do. People who listen are people who already supported and believed in the cause you are advocating for. People's personalities tend to remain pretty consistent throughout their life (I was told this by a psychiatrist). I had these thoughts just now and they hold a weight of significance for me. I hope my mail office still has the SN I ordered, I'd rather die than to just accept that I can't solve any of this.
Edit: I genuinely feel like I have it all figured out, that suicide really is the only solution for me, I can't enjoy life the way other people seem to be able to enjoy it, I don't care about trying to derive the maximum happiness from life, I just don't want to accept it and I'm literally just going to kill myself instead. It's really that simple. I don't want to accept life. I don't need to "self-improve", I just genuinely don't want to accept life. Nothing I do in life is ever going to change anything, I'm not going to have any impact, and people will laugh at me and be completely indifferent to my efforts. It's genuinely that simple. I don't want to become happy by forgetting about what happens in the world, I would rather kill myself because I just hate how the world works. I'm not going to place the blame on people, everyone is subject to the force of gravity, I just don't want to accept life. I will go through with my decision to end my sentience with the same blind faith that everyone else on Earth has, I will hope that what is after death is not as confusing and misguided as what is present in life.
Another edit: If there was a solution, which I desperately want, someone would have found it by now. It's really that simple. No amount of searching will lead you anywhere. I don't want to partake in life and self-absorption, because I fucking hate when I'm the recipient of it yet I am completely shielded from bad feelings during instances when I do it. I don't want to worship others, because fuck all does anyone know, I am going to kill myself because no answer exists and I can't accept that. To me the answer isn't found in partaking in activities conducive to life, I don't even think that death is somehow an "answer", I just want to cut off the functioning of my neurocircuits. I LOVE ! you all
Edit: I genuinely feel like I have it all figured out, that suicide really is the only solution for me, I can't enjoy life the way other people seem to be able to enjoy it, I don't care about trying to derive the maximum happiness from life, I just don't want to accept it and I'm literally just going to kill myself instead. It's really that simple. I don't want to accept life. I don't need to "self-improve", I just genuinely don't want to accept life. Nothing I do in life is ever going to change anything, I'm not going to have any impact, and people will laugh at me and be completely indifferent to my efforts. It's genuinely that simple. I don't want to become happy by forgetting about what happens in the world, I would rather kill myself because I just hate how the world works. I'm not going to place the blame on people, everyone is subject to the force of gravity, I just don't want to accept life. I will go through with my decision to end my sentience with the same blind faith that everyone else on Earth has, I will hope that what is after death is not as confusing and misguided as what is present in life.
Another edit: If there was a solution, which I desperately want, someone would have found it by now. It's really that simple. No amount of searching will lead you anywhere. I don't want to partake in life and self-absorption, because I fucking hate when I'm the recipient of it yet I am completely shielded from bad feelings during instances when I do it. I don't want to worship others, because fuck all does anyone know, I am going to kill myself because no answer exists and I can't accept that. To me the answer isn't found in partaking in activities conducive to life, I don't even think that death is somehow an "answer", I just want to cut off the functioning of my neurocircuits. I LOVE ! you all
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