Does anybody else have this? I technically shouldn't be afraid for myself right now, but I am going through something that scares me and I start to feel like everything is closing in. On the one hand, I'm blowing things out of proportion, but on the other hand, I'm not because I'm pretty much on my own (not by choice) and won't have much help if things do go very wrong. I'm just not the kind of person people like and want to help. I wish that wasn't the case, and I've tried being different, but it's just the way it is. I pretend that I don't mind being on my own, but I really do and I'm so, so, so afraid of what could happen in the future. I really wish I would just not wake up one day -- without having planned it or taken something, just naturally not wake up without even knowing what happened.
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To be honest mentally almost 100% of my issues are being afraid for the future/not having one. Mine was stolen from me literally. And for Almost two years now I've been homeless. It's honestly kind of wild that it's been that long. I'm not on drugs nor have I ever had a problem which is probably crazy in and of itself. I'm applying for jobs with the intent to get them regularly, I'm doing everything I can and I just can't catch a break. I don't have friends and my family doesn't care. I'm all alone.
This is what I'm afraid of as well. And the main part of it is that I come across as very incapable. I know I'm smart and can do well on tests and assignments, but I have a terrible speaking voice and I get rattled when under pressure, so I come across as not knowing what I'm talking about. It would be totally different if I knew I could present myself well. I'm up for challenges when people were willing to have me around!
You might want to try temp agencies, if you haven't already. Starting as a temp can be a way to get a foot in the door. I really hope you get a break soon!
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 39,737
I always have so much dread for what lies ahead, it's all so painful and tiring to me, I personally just want to cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again, it's all I can hope for, the thought of being trapped in this existence with no limit as to how much one can suffer just to die in agony from old age is unbearable to me, I'd never wish for that.
Worndown
Illuminated
- Mar 21, 2019
- 3,190
Temp work pays the bills. I did that for 8 years. The last gig did hire me. Then I got sick...
That's how I am when things get bad. I can be going along okay, but if something bad happens I fall into this terrible fear. And like you said, it is very painful and tiring... I feel like there's too much uncertainty to want to go to old age.
That is rough. Things are so unfair.
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