Venting Afraid of moving in with my molester, wanting to ctb with my dog but I am too scared

[BecomingDiamond]

Heya, it's been a while, in my last few posts, I mentioned I was going through a housing crisis, and I've been trying so much to help with finding means of paying rent to finding a house, but it's come down to the wire as now I might have to move in with my father, who molested me when I was 19 due to not spending time with him when I was a child.

He's been taking and holding my sisters money hostage for months, I don't know if he is fucking stupid or something to not realize that we couldn't pay the rent, but he's put us in this situation, and I am not certain that I may end my life soon before this happens, because unrealistically there's no way we'll find a house by the end of the month, and I don't want to be homeless on the streets and maybe molested there as well, or with this cocksucking bastard who will still molest me and I have no comfort from my dog.

I was thinking of also ctb with my dog, since I know no one will take care of him when I'm gone. But I'm not really sure on how.

I am not in a good headspace and I know that ctb is something that needs to be planned. But I'm desperate, and I'm scared.. And I fucking hate my future... I'm just venting right now, but I don't know anymore..

 

[Namelesa]

I am so sorry you are in that situation, you don't deserve to have to go back to your abuser. He is scum for blaming you for not spending enough time when its his fault that he wasn't approachable to be around as he is your father. I don't really know about other places you could go to instead of his (maybe a women's shelter?) If you are going to ctb could you bring the dog to an animal rescue centre or shelter? It would be for the better for him as I assume you can't euthanize your dog peaceful so bring them to shelter where they can get a new home or if there isn't room, they can peaceful die there. I hope you get out of this situation. Hopeful others can give more advice than me.

 

[darknessishere]

You can go to a shelter for victims of violence and they will help place dog somewhere. Your sisters could too and press charges against abuser and sue him for money also.
This is not your fault he's a predator and knows exactly how to make you all be stuck in fear
Fuck that sick jerk!
I'm so sorry and hope this is helpful. If your sisters go with you it's a stronger case. Sorry for all the horrific abuse and terror.

 

[kat6]

I'm so sorry this happened. I can't imagine how scared and trapped you must be feeling.

Have you thought about getting the police involved? Depending on where you live, this may also open up more resources for you.

I would reach out to women's shelters, as well as animal rescues (not animal shelters), explaining the situation. Dog rescues may be able to take your pup and place him in a foster home temporarily until you can find housing, if you don't find a women's shelter that accepts pets.

 

[darknessishere]

Hey did you go for help?

 

[BecomingDiamond]

Hey did you go for help?

Hey thanks for the advice, I was not in a good headspace when I made this. Now I'm thinking more rationally.

It's been too long since the accident and due to his already failing health I'm just waiting for nature to take it's course. He is a very vindictive person and has family who'd probably may hurt us... (Uncle is into guns and stuff, they probably won't believe me or anyone of his actions)

And yes I'm also very much a coward, going to the police makes me scared (as a black woman, not trying to pull the race card but it's a true fear) I also feel indebted due to my mother dying and me not being able to prevent that.

And I've tried to call shelters, they either are full, or they just straight up hang up on me.

I really appreciate the help but I don't know, the only option is to wait until things get better, my dad moves on and leaves us, or ctb.. The good news is that I have finally got on disability so i finally get a source of income, it isn't much but it's something for me.. And with everything just being disappointed after disappointment, this is a good thing.

I just wish I wasn't scared anymore and just died.

 

[darknessishere]

I'm just so sorry