Afraid that killing myself will lead to my mother’s suicide

[Nihilistnow]

She's incredibly depressed to the point where she can barely leave the house as it is and she has terrible anxiety. I can't really do much for her because she never listens to any advice she's given and she can't afford medication because of the greedy American healthcare system. I'm so intent on killing myself but I can't begin to imagine the pain it will cause her. Another part of me thinks it'd be better if she took her life anyway considering the miserable state she's constantly in. On the other hand, she's pretty religious and may be completely opposed to killing herself no matter the circumstances. In that case, she'll have to live out the next 30 or so years of her life in emotional agony. Do these circumstances make my suicide selfish? They feel selfish but I'm in just as much pain as her and I didn't ask to be born...

 

[Tiredman]

I feel for you as I am in a similar situation except with my dad. He's very depressed and has tried to commit suicide 2 before. When I ctb at the end of this month im afraid that he'll likely follow shortly after leaving my mom by herself. Luckily my mom doesnt have any mental health issues but after I go I could see her getting depressed. Ultimately I dont want to continue suffering and I guess I wont have to deal with the consequences once I'm gone.

 

[millefeui]

Whatever you do can be interpreted as selfish in a way or another. True selflessness doesn't exist. It is a tricky situation, for sure.

 

[MiserableBastard1995]

It's crossed my mind and yeah, that's a huge problem.

My solution is brutal, so it ain't for everyone:
Your existence, and in turn, your suffering, is a result of your parents wanting to fuck. The (understandable) pain, is on them.

 

[whitepriest]

I agree with the post above. You don't owe anything to anyone. They forced you into this world.