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WorthlessPasta

New Member
Aug 8, 2023
4
Without saying too much, I had an emergency surgery recently, and the experience made me realize I didn't actually want to die. I really thought I had made a breakthrough, but then I had a relapse on Thursday night.

Part of me knew it wouldn't work, but I drank a lot a few nights ago and tried to kill myself by cutting. It didn't work, obviously, and now I have nerve pain in my right arm.

I just don't know what to do now. I'm not sure if ive caused serious damage but it hurts when I try to hold things or move my hand. I also feel like I've lost all will to take care of myself. Everything is a mess, dirty dishes everywhere, and all I want to do is sleep.

I don't know how to get better from here. I realized I just feel so alone and trapped, but I don't know who to talk to or turn to for help that won't institutionalize me. Sorry for the vent, I really do want help, I just didn't really know where else to go.
 
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AshClouds

AshClouds

In time I started growing inward.
Apr 10, 2023
313
I have a deep scar that required stitches, aside from that theres no real long term damage other than the scar itself. Well the only long term damage is constant regret. Also I have to hide it all the time which is doable, it mostly faded at this point.

I don't know if my story helps, but I honestly hope you can heal from hit. 🫂
 
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WorthlessPasta

New Member
Aug 8, 2023
4
I have a deep scar that required stitches, aside from that theres no real long term damage other than the scar itself. Well the only long term damage is constant regret. Also I have to hide it all the time which is doable, it mostly faded at this point.

I don't know if my story helps, but I honestly hope you can heal from hit. 🫂
Thank you for the comfort, and letting me know the pain shouldn't be permanent. I'll definitely have to cover it until it heals enough.

Last time I even tried to reach out I was given a pamphlet linking to a chat bot and told I could be forcefully hospitalized 🙄. You can see how much that helped.
 
brownbear

brownbear

Member
Aug 27, 2023
42
Did you open up to medical staff about your nerve pain? What youre describing sounds like serious damage. Usually nerve damage and such are irreversable, but with proper therapies etc. it can get a lot better. You would have to consult a doctor or a specialist for this.
I also have (self harm) scars that probably have permanent tissue damage, you dont have to suffer like this in silence
 
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snowcloud9

snowcloud9

I’m Cold
Sep 9, 2023
250
I don't know how to get better from here. I realized I just feel so alone and trapped, but I don't know who to talk to or turn to for help that won't institutionalize me. Sorry for the vent, I really do want help, I just didn't really know where else to go.
Could you treat your cut as a start? You won't be forcibly hospitalized unless they deem you suicidal, for self-harm you can go get stitches. Wouldn't want something that would ruin your mobility. If you can't because of cost, there's also special bandages meant for keeping deep wounds stuck together for better healing. I have a good thread from shtwt on wound care if you need.
 
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WorthlessPasta

New Member
Aug 8, 2023
4
Thank you for the comfort, and letting me know the pain shouldn't be permanent. I'll definitely have to cover it until it heals enough.

Last time I even tried to reach out I was given a pamphlet linking to a chat bot and told I could be forcefully hospitalized 🙄. You can see how much that helped.
Could you treat your cut as a start? You won't be forcibly hospitalized unless they deem you suicidal, for self-harm you can go get stitches. Wouldn't want something that would ruin your mobility. If you can't because of cost, there's also special bandages meant for keeping deep wounds stuck together for better healing. I have a good thread from shtwt on wound care if you need.


This is gonna sound pathetic but it didn't go that deep to need stitches, and the pain has gone away. Reason why it didn't go deep is i drank enough to throw up, and couldn't focus to keep going. Thank you both for your kind words and advice as well.
 
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