U
Unsure and alone
It's a slow fade
- Dec 10, 2023
- 181
Well I just completely lost control for a little bit.
A fast flash .
Anyway I yelled at someone.
I'm definitely wrong for doing that .
Not completely wrong for addressing the topic though.
But umm it was over stuff that should be a roommate conversation not a yelling match.
Then I sliced the rest of this mess into my skin.
Also throughout this I'm crying or almost crying.
I literally can't think straight for these few minutes.
Unfortunately now that I can the damage is already done.
Now I'm still sad .
I'm a bit shocked at myself.
And I feel something bad that I feel better.
I know that's just that I actually released some of the shit instead of it all being buried.
I've processed some of why I reacted the way I did
Yet two questions remain.
How do I do something other than blow up or stuff it down ?
And any tricks for dealing with cutting ?
I'm no stranger to cutting .
My scars are 5- 7 inches long.
But I went deeper than ever before.
Honestly I'm a little worried about it right now .
I can't seek medical help so I'm going with cleaning it up , treating with triple antibiotic , bandaid and asking about it here.
My instinct says I'll be okay but possibly stopped just short of mandatory stitches.
So I guess I'm hoping for someone to care and for some suggestions.
A fast flash .
Anyway I yelled at someone.
I'm definitely wrong for doing that .
Not completely wrong for addressing the topic though.
But umm it was over stuff that should be a roommate conversation not a yelling match.
Then I sliced the rest of this mess into my skin.
Also throughout this I'm crying or almost crying.
I literally can't think straight for these few minutes.
Unfortunately now that I can the damage is already done.
Now I'm still sad .
I'm a bit shocked at myself.
And I feel something bad that I feel better.
I know that's just that I actually released some of the shit instead of it all being buried.
I've processed some of why I reacted the way I did
Yet two questions remain.
How do I do something other than blow up or stuff it down ?
And any tricks for dealing with cutting ?
I'm no stranger to cutting .
My scars are 5- 7 inches long.
But I went deeper than ever before.
Honestly I'm a little worried about it right now .
I can't seek medical help so I'm going with cleaning it up , treating with triple antibiotic , bandaid and asking about it here.
My instinct says I'll be okay but possibly stopped just short of mandatory stitches.
So I guess I'm hoping for someone to care and for some suggestions.