Venting Another step closer to suicide

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

I'll be turning 30 soon.

I don't wanna spend my 30s in curryland.

I am so sick of this cucked existence.

I hate living with my family.

They're always loud, and there's always some drama.

I spent the last 6 months working on two huge portfolio projects, and when I went to apply for jobs, I realized ALMOST NO ONE is hiring...

I sent my application to a company that most alumnis from my university are working for...

*sigh*

sent it on saturday. rejected on monday...


I had a lot riding on this.

This isn't the first time I've worked on a long project, just to get zero results after sending it out...

I am so fucking tired...

I'm gonna start updating my suicide journal again... my memoir....

And I'm gonna finish my memoir.
Last time I sent 50 applications before I got called for my first interview...

I watched a lecture which said that's normal in this industry...

BUT THERE ARE NO MORE COMPANIES TO APPLY!

Idc what anyone says, I am NOT spending the rest of my life in this country. I am old. I am tired. And I am in massive pain. I cannot keep doing this...

Even as I'm typing this, I can hear my parents yelling... I am dehydrated.
The third world heat is killing me. I miss the cold weather. I miss the English countryside.
I miss my friends...

 

[itwillhappensoon]

Sorry you are going through this , I also I'm tired of this existence I would be dead if It wasn't for SI and lack of good ctb methods like n or gun , I also don't have job right now which make really hard to survive, anyway I wish you peace .