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Cataphract

Cataphract

Member
Oct 28, 2022
13
I have been wondering, is there a way for parents to compensate for their cruel gift? Is there a way of... forgiveness? I don't want to hate them, but without compensation, I am forced to. What do you think?
 
astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
547
at different points in my life i would have very different answers for you. i resent my parents greatly for having me without an ounce of consideration for the fact that children have emotional as well as physical needs. at the same time i love them because i feel a certain obligation to (east asian filial piety) and because they do take care of food/water/shelter when i am struggling.

i think forgiveness comes in different forms as well. maybe you can "forgive" them but never forget that you didn't consent to this existence. never trust them with responsibility for you (denying them power of attorney for example, or not letting them supervise grandkids alone). something to consider is existence was also forced onto them, and maybe having kids was their ignorant way of trying to ameliorate their own lives. i'm just not sure if you'll get compensation from them until they die and leave money to you, especially if you're from a western culture. just some food for thought.
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,015
They should pay reparations
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,206
I feel like I've already been compensated well enough by my mother providing me money and shelter. When it comes to compensation from my father, I don't want anything that he'd be willing to give me because he's the type of narcissist to want to put a fuckton of cruel conditions to me accepting any gifts or money he offers so I don't think it's worth it. The best he can do for me is continue to leave me alone for the rest of our lives.
 
vadim

vadim

Disqualified From Being Human
Aug 10, 2023
119
I seem to differ from other posters here by holding the stance that parents providing for their children/leaving them an inheritance isn't atoning for the crime of giving birth to them because that's an obligation and the bare minimum you should fulfil when choosing to bring people into existence against their will.

Of course, my feelings towards my own parents don't necessarily accord with my philosophical ideals and I feel some level of obligation towards them even though intellectually, I don't believe children owe their parents anything more than the basic level of respect you'd show another human being. I still will always harbour some amount of resentment towards my parents for having me. As long as I wish I were never born, I won't be able to forgive them.
 
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