• Hey Guest,

    An update on the OFCOM situation: As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. OFCOM, the UK’s communications regulator, has singled out our community, demanding compliance with their Online Safety Act despite our minimal UK presence. This is a blatant overreach, and they have been sending letters pressuring us to comply with their censorship agenda.

    Our platform is already blocked by many UK ISPs, yet they continue their attempts to stifle free speech. Standing up to this kind of regulatory overreach requires lots of resources to maintain our infrastructure and fight back against these unjust demands. If you value our community and want to support us during this time, we would greatly appreciate any and all donations.

    Read more about the situation here: Click to View Post

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Watcher

Watcher

Student
Nov 17, 2018
132
Last weekend I was diagnosed with major depression. I've been depressed for almost 4~5 years. The cause of my depression: Maybe I'm an asperger (genetically condemned to be a nerd). All I do is read, watch videos about philosophy and physics, documentaries, etc. I was studying at the university but I suffered a 'Crisis', wich ended with a car accident... I was near to get jailed for that. Before that my depression was at a medium level I can say. But after this ocurred, all started to fell downwards in my mind. I've tried to CTB with an exit bag two times since the accident, but I was not able to do it, I still was trying to reach some hope. Actually I won a scolarship to learn another language and after that, I was supposed to get a job in a call center. But I couldn't make it, I was having suicidal thoughts while I was studying. I wasn't medicated too, never before I left the academy. Actually I left the university too... A big mistake. So since that moment I have been just surviving, but the depression is getting worst each day. I feel how does the antidepressant is getting more weakly everyday. And anxiety is the worst part. I'm suferring social fobia, and everytime I go out, I can feel a tremendous fear. My voice turns shameful, and I try to modulate it, but the emotions are strong, and without noticing, my voice gets weak and I began to stutter... bffffffff. This week I've passed 3 days without alprazolam till today I bought it. I was at the pharmacy, and they were looking me strange. Everything went right, and they gave me the pills. After that I arrived home, but I can't still sleep. I have been sleeping for almost just 3 or 4 hours. I tried everything, read, watch some tv, videos, movies, play the guitar. But I cant continue with this, even if I have my medicine (and therapy), everything is so hard. Just to get something to eat is a very stressful work. I have been through hard times, since I born for shure. When I remember my whole life, I question myself ¿Did I have been depressed since I was a child? Why do I was always the good guy but very innocent and easy manipulated kid.

Do you think I'm salvageable, I just need to hang out with some friends? Well, I don't have friends anymore, everyone abandoned me... People in my country are so prejudgement about mental illness. And religion is a common thing here (I'm from Guatemala). That affected me too, with my family and with my friends.

So I'm here sitting alone in my bedroom. Its a beautiful sunny day, perfect to ctb. But is not the moment. Maybe, the next week. I already know where I can buy the SN and antiemetics. I have a full box with 29 and a half pills of alprazolam, I just need some of them. An exit bag hidden somewhere in my room. I just need to write the letter to justify my actions, to say some things confident, say goodbye. And to minimize the impact the most I can... In a few days I will be ready.
 
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