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tuto170

Student
Jul 1, 2019
114
Hello, as you might know me from few last posts I am Schizophrenic, with paranoia, depression, OCD and anxiety.
Through my life, i suffered many types of anxiety - starting with social, morning, situational and in the end - generalized anxiety.
As I have personally experienced, in many cases, anxiety can be culprit for causing depression, OCD and make other mental Illnesses to appear from hiding like manic depression or even schizophrenia. As far we know, anxiety elevates cortisol (stress hormone) and adrenaline (fight or flight trigger). Anxiety also affects our response to dopamine and serotonin and can disrupt our ability to absorb or even produce hormones, for example: food might taste abnormal when stressed and cigarette or an alcoholic drink might make your hands shaking and as we know anxiety is one of leading causes of failed sexual intercourse and constant Insomnia.
In this thread I hope we talk about our accidents or incidents that made us to feel anxious (or period) and help each other cope or even rationalize the fear or something or someone and decide if this threat is truly dangerous.
I encourage using this format as I will introduce myself (Main focus anxiety, but i encourage mention any complications that it lead to):

Age: 26
Gender: male
Diagnsosis: Schizophrenia, Major depressive disorder, Anxiety and Panic attacks that lead to OCD
Main symptoms caused by anxiety: Difficulty forming sentences, running delusional thoughts during panic attack, difficult maintaining eye contact, being often frustrated and causing external swearing, difficulty getting to know people and remembering names, difficulty achieving erection and having intercourse, difficulty laughing at jokes and smiling.
Breaking point: My father's funeral when I was 9 years old, started skipping school, was afraid to leave the house, also was constantly bullying from that age.
Anxiety triggers: New places (Hate travelling), New workplace, talking with a customer, making writing or speech errors, going on a date, sleeping too little, talking about sex, formal paperwork, too much coffee also triggers me, big social gatherings (like funeral, family gatherings, work meetings) and hungover (stopped completely drinking)
Medication used: Xanax and clonazepam during panic attacks (trying to avoid unnecessary doses), Escitalopram 5mg daily, Risperidone 3mg daily.
Other coping Mechanisms: smoking and chain smoking during and after panic attack, breathing out heavily often, exercising as often as possible, wringing my hands, being alone as much as possible during my free time, playing a lot of video games.
Last time you felt anxious: This morning when i signed employment papers with my employer, felt disorganized and made some grammar errors while filling in papers, also forgot to give some papers and had to go back and felt frustrated as my employer went somewhere else, I was swearing and smoked a lot, made me shaky a bit, later I took a long and hot shower and felt i little better.
 
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K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
Age: 37
Gender: female
Diagnsosis: major depressive episode, generalised anxiety and social anxiety, OCD-O, ADHD-Pi, gender dysphoria
Main symptoms caused by anxiety:
Feeling of uneasiness, fear, muscles tension, hands or body body shaking, increased heartbeat, desire to hide from everyone :)
Breaking point:
I always had anxiety, since early childhood. But after botched plastic surgery it became especially severe, uncontrollable and permanent. It happened half a year ago.
Anxiety triggers:
Social interactions, going outside, thinking about traumatic events, my appearance, future, past, basically everything can trigger anxiety. Something always does.
Medication used:
Benzodiazepines doesn't help, only sometimes they do but only for an hour. It's useless and I aware that they are dangerous so I don't use them at all.
SSRI didn't make a difference
Seroquel somewhat helped but I slept all the time
Other coping Mechanisms
Chain smoking, binge eating, playing thoughtless game on my mobile, imagining that I am already dead and nothing matters. Nothing really helps though
Last time you felt anxious
I feel baseline anxiety ALL the time. It's pretty bad way to exist.
 
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T

tuto170

Student
Jul 1, 2019
114
Age: 37
Gender: female
Diagnsosis: major depressive episode, generalised anxiety and social anxiety, OCD-O, ADHD-Pi, gender dysphoria
Main symptoms caused by anxiety:
Feeling of uneasiness, fear, muscles tension, hands or body body shaking, increased heartbeat, desire to hide from everyone :)
Breaking point:
I always had anxiety, since early childhood. But after botched plastic surgery it became especially severe, uncontrollable and permanent. It happened half a year ago.
Anxiety triggers:
Social interactions, going outside, thinking about traumatic events, my appearance, future, past, basically everything can trigger anxiety. Something always does.
Medication used:
Benzodiazepines doesn't help, only sometimes they do but only for an hour. It's useless and I aware that they are dangerous so I don't use them at all.
SSRI didn't make a difference
Seroquel somewhat helped but I slept all the time
Other coping Mechanisms
Chain smoking, binge eating, playing thoughtless game on my mobile, imagining that I am already dead and nothing matters. Nothing really helps though
Last time you felt anxious
I feel baseline anxiety ALL the time. It's pretty bad way to exist.
Yeah I binge eating too, especially at night, it helps me to fall asleep. Are you still on Seroquel? I tried to and I hated how my body feels on it. I also scroll through Facebook and 9gag endlessly. Are you still planning any surgeries or any physical changes in the future? Btw I dated fee transitioning people in the past, so I have a sense what are you going through. At one point in my life I really stressed about my looks as I am ginger and was heavily bullied for that and felt really anxious while being without a hat in public. Have you tried any old tricyclic anti depressants? I found amitriptyline effective but bad side effect profile.
 
K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
Yeah I binge eating too, especially at night, it helps me to fall asleep. Are you still on Seroquel? I tried to and I hated how my body feels on it. I also scroll through Facebook and 9gag endlessly. Are you still planning any surgeries or any physical changes in the future? Btw I dated fee transitioning people in the past, so I have a sense what are you going through. At one point in my life I really stressed about my looks as I am ginger and was heavily bullied for that and felt really anxious while being without a hat in public. Have you tried any old tricyclic anti depressants? I found amitriptyline effective but bad side effect profile.

I just quit Seroquel recently, not sure it was a wise thing to do but I don't think staying on atypical antipsychotics for a long time is a good idea, It made me very sleepy, drowsy all the time but it helped with anxiety a bit.
Yes, I scroll social media pointlessly..
I am glad there are people like you who accept transgender people as dating material :)
As for my plans, it's complicated, I am not sure what to do, I am so traumatized by plastic surgery that I don't trust plastic surgeons anymore. And fixing a problem is harder even. It's a very expensive gamble basically..
But at the same time I want to fix my flaws because they bug me so much, people say it's not noticable, everybody has flaws, you look fine... that I should get over it.. but I can't. It brings me so much pain that my surgery was botched because I can look kinda pretty but those flaws ruining my self image when I notice them or when I think people can notice them.
No, I didn't try tricyclics yet, but several people who previousely were on SSRIs recommend them to me and told that they work better. I don't know maybe I should ask my psychiatrist about them. Thank you for replying to my post. I hope we both will find a way to feel better.
 
T

tuto170

Student
Jul 1, 2019
114
I just quit Seroquel recently, not sure it was a wise thing to do but I don't think staying on atypical antipsychotics for a long time is a good idea, It made me very sleepy, drowsy all the time but it helped with anxiety a bit.
Yes, I scroll social media pointlessly..
I am glad there are people like you who accept transgender people as dating material :)
As for my plans, it's complicated, I am not sure what to do, I am so traumatized by plastic surgery that I don't trust plastic surgeons anymore. And fixing a problem is harder even. It's a very expensive gamble basically..
But at the same time I want to fix my flaws because they bug me so much, people say it's not noticable, everybody has flaws, you look fine... that I should get over it.. but I can't. It brings me so much pain that my surgery was botched because I can look kinda pretty but those flaws ruining my self image when I notice them or when I think people can notice them.
No, I didn't try tricyclics yet, but several people who previousely were on SSRIs recommend them to me and told that they work better. I don't know maybe I should ask my psychiatrist about them. Thank you for replying to my post. I hope we both will find a way to feel better.
I can understand the stigmatization of trans people. I am very into dating trans girls and often I was hesitant as my family and friends often made uncomfortable comments and remarks. I wanted also to ask - do you go to sleep or lay down when you are really anxious and stressed? Or waste whole day on pointless tasks to distract yourself and recover from an incident?
 
K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
I can understand the stigmatization of trans people. I am very into dating trans girls and often I was hesitant as my family and friends often made uncomfortable comments and remarks. I wanted also to ask - do you go to sleep or lay down when you are really anxious and stressed? Or waste whole day on pointless tasks to distract yourself and recover from an incident?
When I have an anxiety attack?
I can't sleep then and yes, I am trying to distract myself.
It doesn't work very well and sometimes I just wait until it passes, sometimes it can take half a day.
Today I was very anxious but I went to vote and to meet my friend anyway and it helped. Then we had some drinks and I was almost ok :)
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
When I have an anxiety attack?
I can't sleep then and yes, I am trying to distract myself.
It doesn't work very well and sometimes I just wait until it passes, sometimes it can take half a day.
Today I was very anxious but I went to vote and to meet my friend anyway and it helped. Then we had some drinks and I was almost ok :)
Yay voting! Despite your anxiety you did it, bad things got better! I'm proud of you my favorite owl!
 
K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
Yay voting! Despite your anxiety you did it, bad things got better! I'm proud of you my favorite owl!
Thank you for your kindness Jean! I am trying
Netanyahu gonna win this time again though :(
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Thank you for your kindness Jean! I am trying
Netanyahu gonna win this time again though :(
So it is true. They have been saying that on the news here.
 
T

TheSuicidalEccentric

The universe is wonderful.
Feb 23, 2020
438
Anxiety is very painful.
 
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