any other alcoholics?

[so tired or manic]

I'm happiest when drunk. I know it's not good for my organs, but the dysphoria and ptsd is almost non-existent when I have some booze in me. the two of them destroy me on a regular basis and it feels so good to not care once in a while. I'm quite drunk now so I'm not sure how legible this will be.

 

[Life_and_Death]

its legible lol. yeah im a little buzzed myself right now lol. i wouldnt say im an alcoholic but when i want a drink ill have it. (which might be more often then it should be but i have a personality disorder. i guess that means only part of me is a drunk XD)

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Yeah, and it shuts my OCD the hell up. Just did a year sober in AA though, so I know I've gotta be careful but I'm attempting moderation. Abstinence is too cruel a rule.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've been through episodes of alcoholism. I'm mostly off the drink right now though. I've only been drinking once a week at most.

 

[so tired or manic]

Yeah, and it shuts my OCD the hell up. Just did a year sober in AA though, so I know I've gotta be careful but I'm attempting moderation. Abstinence is too cruel a rule.

I know it helps some people, but I know it would destroy me. what I need is ways to deal with the physical flashbacks and the necessary surgeries to cope with my body before I'd consider stopping. physically and visually feeling the assaults over and over again does quite the number on the brain, but alcohol can make it go away for a bit. it also stops me from chopping off body parts.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I know it helps some people, but I know it would destroy me. what I need is ways to deal with the physical flashbacks and the necessary surgeries to cope with my body before I'd consider stopping. physically and visually feeling the assaults over and over again does quite the number on the brain, but alcohol can make it go away for a bit. it also stops me from chopping off body parts.

Fair enough but I'd still recommend an extended break if it gets on top of you. I was glad to get the year and make some big changes but ultimately yes I do basically need to self-medicate to one extent or another; it hits the spot like nothing else.