L
LittleJem
Visionary
- Jul 3, 2019
- 2,639
Since my megadose LSD maybe 3 months ago, the suicidal thoughts are largely gone, but I am left with the familiar constant feeling of stress/agitation/low-level misery.
I have been medicating this with MJ every day, but because MJ works best with fat, I have been eating a lot of fatty foods and have put on weight. Also, it gets expensive using every day because my tolerance is high....I've managed today till 11:30 am with no MJ, but am feeling low level miserable and also agitated. But I am functioning. I don't know whether to stay miserable and agitated for the rest of the day? My mind in this situation just wants MJ, but it won't necessarily make me feel better. I was trying to give it up, then a bullying situation began at work, which I'm still dealing with...so no chance of coping without drugs for me. Also, the MJ we currently have is rubbish and virtually pointless to use. So I need to get better stuff. When it is good MJ it makes me more confident and functioning, like a super-version of myself. It also makes me trip and write etc. That is my life, and I don't feel I have other choices. It's drugs or misery - that's the options. I just would like to cut down a bit to save money and also to lose weight.
Maybe I just need healthier fatty foods to activate it - ie olive oil not doughnuts. Also, I need to go and get better stuff.
I'm going to try and last till at least 2pm, and try listening to music. Any other tips appreciated.
I have been medicating this with MJ every day, but because MJ works best with fat, I have been eating a lot of fatty foods and have put on weight. Also, it gets expensive using every day because my tolerance is high....I've managed today till 11:30 am with no MJ, but am feeling low level miserable and also agitated. But I am functioning. I don't know whether to stay miserable and agitated for the rest of the day? My mind in this situation just wants MJ, but it won't necessarily make me feel better. I was trying to give it up, then a bullying situation began at work, which I'm still dealing with...so no chance of coping without drugs for me. Also, the MJ we currently have is rubbish and virtually pointless to use. So I need to get better stuff. When it is good MJ it makes me more confident and functioning, like a super-version of myself. It also makes me trip and write etc. That is my life, and I don't feel I have other choices. It's drugs or misery - that's the options. I just would like to cut down a bit to save money and also to lose weight.
Maybe I just need healthier fatty foods to activate it - ie olive oil not doughnuts. Also, I need to go and get better stuff.
I'm going to try and last till at least 2pm, and try listening to music. Any other tips appreciated.