Anybody else here want to ctb to be more risk averse?

[ijustwishtodie]

The way I see it, life is full of risks and the future is unpredictable. At any given day, it's possible for my quality of life to degrade significantly all because of a random chronic condition or an accident or just one of the many myriad of ways one's life can go worse. Sure, these things may be unlikely to occur but the chances are still there and, if I were to be on the unlucky side of life and have my life randomly be worse, I wouldn't be thinking about how rare it is. I'd be in pain and wishing to get out of here. I already am in pain and I'm wishing to get out of here but it's scary as to how worse things can become.

A personal anecdote of mine is how my sister didn't think that anything would happen to her besides depression but she randomly got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis one day which ruined her quality of life significantly. She was already miserable due to depression but, for her, multiple sclerosis was significantly worse than depression. It's just so scary as to how much somebody can suffer. I am already suffering massively and, just by staying alive, I could potentially suffer even more.

Incidentally, even the most devout of religious people are somehow able to understand that life has a lot of risk attached to it. My parents are able to acknowledge that life has a lot of risk and that they cannot guarantee that they'll even be alive tomorrow. A lot of other religious people acknowledge this too. I wonder as to why they still want to continue with life after acknowledging this?

The only way to not have to deal with the risk caused by merely being alive is to be dead. If I'm dead, I won't be subjected to any future risk and I won't ever have to suffer again. For me, being risk averse is one of my reasons for wanting to be dead as the only way to not have to deal with the risks within life is to be dead.

 

[alienfreak]

Yes, I specifically have fear of being in a position that i am one day physically unable to ctb. Any day i could be in some sort of horrific accident or have a stroke and be trapped in a broken body for decades. At my age the risk feels remote but it is still there. If i keep getting older it'll become more and more pertinent. If this society werent so evil and gave people the dignity that they give animals then this wouldnt be an issue at all

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Yeah, I am scared about all this too. My mom is already housebound because of all her physical issues and this weekend she has been sick and right now is in the ER because they think she has some kind of infection. She's been in pain all weekend. Every time I looked at her, all I could think was it was a perfect example of things getting worse when you don't think they can.
I'm sorry about your sister and all the struggles you are going through

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I am. I hate having to take risks and I'm usually not happy with decisions I've made even when I've clearly made the better choice in a given scenario.

Another benefit of my CTB would be that I could also avoid creating risky situations for other people in the future. I know that my continued existence is just going to cause further harm and damage to anyone I come in contact with so CTB would be a great way to save them too.

 

[CTB Dream]

ya need ctb no wait see hpn wat wait injury damage add prblm this injury damage add injury damage no lmt

 

[DeathSleep]

Being worried about the risks of living has definitely reached my top reasons for wanting to CTB at this point. Everything from being homeless (which I have been and I desperately don't want to be again) to being paralyzed or something and trapped here unable to CTB. I have no family or partner to help me if or when something goes very wrong. I'm already avioding some minor health problems which have no doubt gotten worse. I'm alone and I don't feel like my life is very stable. It wouldn't take much to make thigs a lot worse. Just one good accident. I don't feel safe. Life gives me anxiety.

I know it sounds a little paranoid but it's not like anyone ever walks out the door like "I'm going to get paralyzed from the neck down today." No one plans for these things to happen and most people don't even consider it happening to them.

 

[Pryras]

Definitely. I don't want to be in a position where I can't take my own life and feel trapped in misery. I don't want to see what the future holds and experience any more suffering. Yes I won't be here for the possible good times but I also won't be here to experience the pain (which is more important to me)

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I specifically have fear of being in a position that i am one day physically unable to ctb. Any day i could be in some sort of horrific accident or have a stroke and be trapped in a broken body for decades. At my age the risk feels remote but it is still there. If i keep getting older it'll become more and more pertinent. If this society werent so evil and gave people the dignity that they give animals then this wouldnt be an issue at all

This. All of our issues and worries could easily be prevented had society simply allowed us to access euthanasia or N but, unfortunately, no, we live in a pro suffering world as these people want us to suffer for as long as possible in existence when it's all pointless anyway.

Yeah, I am scared about all this too. My mom is already housebound because of all her physical issues and this weekend she has been sick and right now is in the ER because they think she has some kind of infection. She's been in pain all weekend. Every time I looked at her, all I could think was it was a perfect example of things getting worse when you don't think they can.
I'm sorry about your sister and all the struggles you are going through

It truly is scary as to how much one can suffer in existence. For as long as somebody is alive, there really does feel like there isn't a limit to how much somebody can suffer for. Also, you don't have to apologise for my sister as thankfully she's now dead and is no longer suffering. I wish that I died too so that I don't have to suffer but, honestly, I think she deserves death more than me as she was suffering way more than I am and she deserves to be in peace even more.

ya need ctb no wait see hpn wat wait injury damage add prblm this injury damage add injury damage no lmt

I'm sorry for your suffering. It truly is horrifying as to how much somebody can suffer in existence for. It really does feel like there is no limit. I loathe this pro suffering society.

Being worried about the risks of living has definitely reached my top reasons for wanting to CTB at this point. Everything from being homeless (which I have been and I desperately don't want to be again) to being paralyzed or something and trapped here unable to CTB. I have no family or partner to help me if or when something goes very wrong. I'm already avioding some minor health problems which have no doubt gotten worse. I'm alone and I don't feel like my life is very stable. It wouldn't take much to make thigs a lot worse. Just one good accident. I don't feel safe. Life gives me anxiety.

I know it sounds a little paranoid but it's not like anyone ever walks out the door like "I'm going to get paralyzed from the neck down today." No one plans for these things to happen and most people don't even consider it happening to them.

I'm also scared of being homeless. I feel like I will have to go homeless one day because I simply don't have it in me to conform to society yet I'm expected to compete as if I am equal to everybody else. For me, the battle of life is way too great for me and there's no alternative meaning that I will have to go homeless soon enough. If I was alone and didn't have my parents being super overprotective, I would have ordered SN and killed myself already or at least tried to. Also, yeah, a lot of people don't think that any bad thing would happen to them but then you have people with shitty chronic conditions that probably said the same thing prior to having said condition.

Definitely. I don't want to be in a position where I can't take my own life and feel trapped in misery. I don't want to see what the future holds and experience any more suffering. Yes I won't be here for the possible good times but I also won't be here to experience the pain (which is more important to me)

To me, preventing the negatives is more important than perpetuating the positives. Also, being dead to not experience the good things isn't really bad since the dead person isn't able to feel anything bad with regards to not experiencing the positives. I wish I could be dead so that I don't ever have to deal with any negatives in life ever again

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Yes, I specifically have fear of being in a position that i am one day physically unable to ctb. Any day i could be in some sort of horrific accident or have a stroke and be trapped in a broken body for decades. At my age the risk feels remote but it is still there. If i keep getting older it'll become more and more pertinent. If this society werent so evil and gave people the dignity that they give animals then this wouldnt be an issue at all

I keep saying things like this. i've gotten push back. wft are they thinking? there is no reasons to risk stroke , disabling accident etc. they want us to think that something like watching a clickbait youtube video or eating a sandwhich is worth the worst pain and the wort torture nightmare. they accuse us of being a Death cult . they are the ones brainwashing people to think this nightmare called life is something good. they want us to think that it's ok to risk extreme torture every day with no guaranteed suicide method to escape this awful state. They effectively made this world into a worse prison . they made every guaranteed suicide method a crime. so they put all 8 billion humans in this world in danger of suffering unbearable pain and falling into a nightmare of unending constant unbearable pain with no way to escape this nightmare. they locked the door . they told everyone you can't leave no matter what you say and if you even say you want to leave we'll put you into a mental hospital indefinitely . And they have 99% of humans thinking this is ok to be in a state of risking extreme pain and extreme suffering with no way out .

I'm not encouraging any suicide . i couldn't care less what some stranger does if they want to live etc . i'm just saying we all need the choice to leave if and when we want to. we had that choice. there's no reason suicide booths, nembutal, suicide kits, someone assisting you with suicide should be a crime . but they are all crimes. it's to keep us in the prison. it's to steal away our most important rights to move away from unbearable pain and suffering , to decide when and if you want to exit this hell , individual autonomy , right to choose to die ,... .they stole all these rights and they have everyone thinking it's ok to be a prisoner slave with no rights. and that a suicidal person is mentally ill. which all of this is ridiculous. suicide can be rational . who would want to get old , and work 15 hours a day to get old and risk torture? but if i point this out and i say i want to leave this hell called life and evil world they'll say "you can't leave and you'll be put in mental hospital" . why does everyone (practically everyone 99%) think this is ok ? wtf were're living in the matrix. no one can tell me there is an objective reason why i should live another minute much less why i have to .

I need to kill these 30 trillion monstrous cells im imprisoned in . this is a horror. i'm cells a brain in box,. a brain that can suffer unending constant unbearable pain. how is this not an abomination a horror? i couldn't care less what another bag of 30 trillion cells does if they want to live and grow old let them how does that affect my problems . the only thing i need from another human is assistance in my suicide but they made that a crime . they accuse me of encouraging others to suicide for posting the truth like in this post and that we all will die anyway.

 

[cait_sith]

After getting an horrible painful eye-infection just by wearing an eye-mask that might have had some bacteria on it, resulting with 1 month of hospital stay, having to endure eye-drops every 20 minutes, still having to take eye drops 2 months later, not being able to see with said eye for many months to come, if I will be able to see with it at all, sadly proved me right what I was fearing all along. Our fragile bodies have the ability to destroy our quality of life at any moment, caused by the smallest thing, and what happened to me is relatively mild in comparison. The potential of suffering is endless.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

After getting an horrible painful eye-infection just by wearing an eye-mask that might have had some bacteria on it, resulting with 1 month of hospital stay, having to endure eye-drops every 20 minutes, still having to take eye drops 2 months later, not being able to see with said eye for many months to come, if I will be able to see with it at all, sadly proved me right what I was fearing all along. Our fragile bodies have the ability to destroy our quality of life at any moment, caused by the smallest thing, and what happened to me is relatively mild in comparison. The potential of suffering is endless.

this is true. even just on this site and off the top of my head i can think of many different ways this fragile human body can put us into a nightmare any day any minute into a nightmare of constant extreme suffering with no way out. but they have 99% of humans brainwashed to think that it's ok to risk extreme torture every day for no objective reason. on top of that to work 15 hours a day a job chores to do list for no objective reason , to risk even worse torture , decay grow old all with never a way to escape this hell because they made this world a prison by making every guaranteed suicide method a crime . all is even more evil and oppressive because we all will die anyway so theres no reason to imprison all of us to prolong our suffering. all these and more i could write a 1000 page book injustices pile up on top of each other to make this world and life an even worse prison nightmare.