Anybody else was born into a healthy family but still had a messed up childhood due to school and/or society being messed up in general?

[Silent_cries]

I've seen ppl go through horrible stuff my entire life, I've seen ppl suffer my entire life. I've suffered myself too. My whole life has been seeing others in pain and going through hell myself, and it rly messed me up. It's what caused most of the problems I have today. It isn't just abuse that can mess up your childhood, society can too...

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Yes, my family is relatively healthy, but I went through extreme bullying when I was 8.
It was disproportionately intense, compared with what my peers experienced - I was kicked by a gang of boys about 100 times in front of a teacher and she ignored it. All of the things I created in the class had been vandalized. And yes, I've been told "it's all in your head." And one day my mom grabbed a kitchen knife and said "I shall kill you" to me. I don't remember how I felt that time - my brain simply shut down.
I said "I want to die" then, according to my mom. I don't remember it but I remember I was suicidal when I was 9.
I thought it was a punishment from righteous God - It wasn't an abuse but a righteously arranged punishment for being a spoiled brat.

(Occasional death threats by parents are quite normal and happen in every family I guess. Her weapon was just a kitchen knife - it wasn't anything serious like a gun.)

I've seen ppl go through horrible stuff my entire life, I've seen ppl suffer my entire life. I've suffered myself too. My whole life has been seeing others in pain and going through hell myself, and it rly messed me up. It's what caused most of the problems I have today. It isn't just abuse that can mess up your childhood, society can too...

I'm so sorry to hear what you've endured - my mom has been suffered from depression since I was born, and I thought it was my fault. I thought I should die to save her. I no longer feel like that but I still feel like a burden to people in my life.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yes, my family is relatively healthy, but I went through extreme bullying when I was 8.
It was disproportionately intense, compared with what my peers experienced - I was kicked by a gang of boys about 100 times in front of a teacher and she ignored it. All of the things I created in the class had been vandalized. And yes, I've been told "it's all in your head." And one day my mom grabbed a kitchen knife and said "I shall kill you" to me. I don't remember how I felt that time - my brain simply shut down.
I said "I want to die" then, according to my mom. I don't remember it but I remember I was suicidal when I was 9.
I thought it was a punishment from righteous God - It wasn't an abuse but a righteously arranged punishment for being a spoiled brat.

(Occasional death threats by parents are quite normal and happen in every family I guess. Her weapon was just a kitchen knife - it wasn't anything serious like a gun.)


I'm so sorry to hear what you've endured - my mom has been suffered from depression since I was born, and I thought it was my fault. I thought I should die to save her. I no longer feel like that but I still feel like a burden to people in my life.

Yeah, that's not normal. Your family sounds abusive.

 

[Meteora]

It isn't just abuse that can mess up your childhood,

Neglect is also a form of abuse. Most parents just make children and then don't guide them enough. Children are lost without a loving guidance. Completely lost. Even teenagers still need it. One can not just procreate and then think the child will grow up just like that. It can turn out well, then your damn lucky. But in many cases, so much more is needed to become a healthy, stable adult.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My family isn't the best but, even if they were, I would still be the same today. I'm messed up because of my neurotype, not because of how my parents raised me

 

[Silent_cries]

Neglect is also a form of abuse. Most parents just make children and then don't guide them enough. Children are lost without a loving guidance. Completely lost. Even teenagers still need it. One can not just procreate and then think the child will grow up just like that. It can turn out well, then your damn lucky. But in many cases, so much more is needed to become a healthy, stable adult.

Yeah ik, my mom never neglected me though, she always tried her very best to raise me the best she could. Like most ppl though, there was a limit as to how much she could do when the system constantly went against her and my needs and she thus constantly had to fight for me. And she fought, belive me! But sometimes things just don't go in the right direction no matter how hard you fight. Things doesn't always have a happy ending no matter how happy the beginning is unfortunately. I get where you're coming from though, all forms of abuse are horrible, no doubt!

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yeah ik, my mom never neglected me though, she always tried her very best to raise me the best she could. Like most ppl though, there was a limit as to how much she could do when the system constantly went against her and my needs and she thus constantly had to fight for me. And she fought, believe me! But sometimes things just don't go in the right direction no matter how hard you fight. Things doesn't always have a happy ending no matter how happy the beginning is unfortunately. I get where you're coming from though, all forms of abuse are horrible, no doubt!

My mom, and family in general, also worked pretty hard to raise me as best as they could growing up. Hell, I remember overhearing my mom talk about how she had threatened a kid and her mom after he tried to throw me down the stairs back when I was a toddler (this was back during the first time we lived in a shelter and I don't remember anything because I was too young). Sadly, trying your best doesn't guarantee being able to protect someone from suffering and pain growing up.

 

[Meteora]

@Silent_cries: Ok, that sounds good then. I did not mean you specifically, I don't know anything about your upbringing. But in general I notice that people think it's easy to have kids and when problems occur they blame everybody else....

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Yeah, that's not normal. Your family sounds abusive.

Thank you for your reply and telling me it's not normal - parenting which is considered child abuse now was rampant in Japan when I was a child (30 years ago. ) I was afraid that kind of abuse was still widespread. Please don't worry, my family changed a lot since then.

 

[Silent_cries]

Thank you for your reply and telling me it's not normal - parenting which is considered child abuse now was rampant in Japan when I was a child (30 years ago. ) I was afraid that kind of abuse was still widespread. Please don't worry, my family changed a lot since then.

I'm glad to hear they've changed bc that must've been awful.

 

[LevUwU]

Yeah, that's been my experience too. It always feels like I'm lying or faking because my parents are great and all, so I don't feel like I have any childhood trauma but its the only explanation for my being fucked up to hell

 

[Silent_cries]

Yeah, that's been my experience too. It always feels like I'm lying or faking because my parents are great and all, so I don't feel like I have any childhood trauma but its the only explanation for my being fucked up to hell

I get that. It feels like that for me too tbh.

 

[Red Moon]

My parents were mostly good but if school bullying counts then that's where most of my childhood trauma came from.

 

[Silent_cries]

My parents were mostly good but if school bullying counts then that's where most of my childhood trauma came from.

Yes, bulliyng counts. Bulliyng can be VERY traumatic for some.

My mom, and family in general, also worked pretty hard to raise me as best as they could growing up. Hell, I remember overhearing my mom talk about how she had threatened a kid and her mom after he tried to throw me down the stairs back when I was a toddler (this was back during the first time we lived in a shelter and I don't remember anything because I was too young). Sadly, trying your best doesn't guarantee being able to protect someone from suffering and pain growing up.

That's so true. I'm still grateful that my mom at least tried even if she didn't succeed completely. I could've been much worse off if she hadn't.

@Silent_cries: Ok, that sounds good then. I did not mean you specifically, I don't know anything about your upbringing. But in general I notice that people think it's easy to have kids and when problems occur they blame everybody else....

No worries, I just thought I'd clarify. And yeah, that is unfortunately true.