L
Lena
Experienced
- Sep 26, 2018
- 280
i keep focusing on suicide and making my life worse and worse. But I'm afraid I won't even be able to go through with it. What the fuck is wrong with me?
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That's sage advice. My "well, I'll just kill myself tomorrow so (fill in the blank) doesn't matter today is just leading to more procrastination on my part and a worse pile of crap then I already have...Yeah it's good to make a decision one way or the other. Commit to one. I'm choosing to kill myself since I know my problems are unsolvable so I don't feel uncomfortable about anything I do anymore.
I'd say nothing is wrong with you. What's wrong is that suicide is so hard to commit to with that damn survival instinct.i keep focusing on suicide and making my life worse and worse. But I'm afraid I won't even be able to go through with it. What the fuck is wrong with me?
That's why we are here always here searching for a method that is painless, quick, and easy.It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. We want to die but the process is terrifying. Especially if you don't have the right equipment. At least that's how I feel.
Problem - my life sucks
Solution - I need to end it
Lingering question - how?
It stresses me out a lot to think about it too. Sometimes I need to take a break and not talk about it for awhile. What your feeling is very common.
I do the same thing. As much as it sucks its also interesting that other people are doing the same thing.i keep focusing on suicide and making my life worse and worse. But I'm afraid I won't even be able to go through with it. What the fuck is wrong with me?
That adds a whole new level of difficulty. Does your live in know about your will to CTB?Yes. I'm not capable of living ordinarily any more. Unfortunately I have a live in 'carer' and a mobility impairment. I suppose eventually I will have an opportunity to drown.
i keep focusing on suicide and making my life worse and worse. But I'm afraid I won't even be able to go through with it. What the fuck is wrong with me?
YepIt's like being trapped in limbo, u can't really live in the situation u are living in, but ctb is equally hard and risky.
Yes, I lost my independence due to an attempt several years ago, and my SN was intercepted (normally my mail is left alone but I'm visibly not well lately). I can obtain limited spells of relative independence by pretending to be high functioning if I'm not alone, and/or I will consider simply running away (very difficult unfortunately but I have spent a long time pondering this). Thank you for replying!That adds a whole new level of difficulty. Does your live in know about your will to CTB?
I unintentionally make my own life worse. I have a natural tendency to self-destruct. If I were an insect, I'd be one of those exploding ants.
And I doubt we ever willCan relate. I dont understand why we do that