I love your use of the term "gaslighting," I have experienced this from many people, most of them if not all of them seemingly narcissists incapable of admitting fault, all the same time implying and blaming me while playing their role of victim and martyr themselves. I make mistakes, but at least I admit it and often profusely apologize and attempt to make some sort of amends, though relationships are not easy for me, gift giving is. Those sort of "If we're okay your problems don't matter" people and the might makes right people of the world. And I have done this too at times, depending on many factors, I vacillate on my emotions and assignment of blame, but then again, yes, I have seen the hypocrisy of the self-proclaimed righteous and virtuous true love types who only show their achievements, their good side, and sweep the bad under the rug, and it does anger me. But then again, I sort of do the same in my own way. Forgive my ramble please, coming down from dxm but took dph to space out a bit. I hope this helps you feel a bit better, I know this forum comforts me many times, misery loves company and deep down, I am not a happy person, my happy times are chemically induced these days, and I grow bored with the monotony and faint expectation of sufferings as I grow older every day.
Sorry if I thread hijacked, but yeah, I had neighbors at another apartment who made lots of noise above me but then when I played a little music they bitched and moaned. But then again, I was playing it at all hours for awhile there *chuckles* Strangely enough perhaps, here I make lots of random noises throughout the night as I am nocturnal, and often laugh whilst watching YouTube videos or some such thing, or whilst high, and never get a complaint. Strange indeed. Maybe solipism is real, or nah it's the drugs talking and my ego needing a stroke XD Feel better *sorry platitude I know we will but only to come back down again, but not even that some of us won't how ignorant of me *in a Michael Jackson voice* that's ignorant al la South Park* Okay <3 Oh and is your avatar from the 1992 animated Batman? Nostalgia, man, my favorite iteration but I may be a bit biased, loved its darkness and 1940s feel, what did they used to call that, art deco?
