• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

  • Security update: At around 2:28AM EST, the site was labeled as malicious by Google erroneously, causing users to get a "Dangerous site" warning in most browsers. It appears that this was done by mistake and has been reversed by Google. It may take a few hours for you to stop seeing those warnings.

    If you're still getting these warnings, please let a member of staff know.
Supersadmommy90

Supersadmommy90

Student
Sep 24, 2019
186
I had quit for several weeks before a life event happened that destabilized my life and moods, so I allowed myself to fall back into daily use. Usually I feel like shit in the morning and smoke shortly after waking up, then I keep smoking throughout the day. This morning I was like "I want to quit" but then my kids started crying and screaming, which is like a drill to the head, and plus I'm on my period and just feeling crappy overall, so after deferring my joint for 45 minutes I was like "not today". When I'm trying to quit weed my feelings and emotions overwhelm me. Everything hits me at once and I get very weepy. At 45 minutes into the withdrawal I was crying and in tears. I'm not saying weed doesn't have its therapeutic uses at times but I feel at this point I'm just addicted again and in a rut with it. I'm starting to get sick of the dependence and the negative health effects, always being in a fog, and always needing to smoke just to stifle my boredom and depression. Literally if I don't smoke and consume marijuana the withdrawals along with everything else I'm going through depression wise, just incapacitates me. The day feels like it will never end. The day that I spend withdrawing is the longest day. I had to function today with my family and my usual duties and routines so I smoked. Next time I have a few days to myself I'm going to try and do a detox. Even if it means I stay in bed for most of the day crying and feeling miserable, almost like having a flu or something. It is going to fucking suck because when I'm quitting weed my emotions just overwhelm me completely. I'm at such a vulnerable spot in my life after having just ended a relationship. I feel very lonely and depressed and I honestly can't cope with it any other way besides smoking weed. I can't wait until i can be strong enough to get healthy again. God grant me the strength.
 

Attachments

  • 54439F91-7D4F-44D1-BC26-672FCA32FD57.png
    54439F91-7D4F-44D1-BC26-672FCA32FD57.png
    2.2 MB · Views: 47
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Mistry420, itsamadworld, oneess and 4 others
xBrialesana

xBrialesana

Become Dust With Me, My Love.
Dec 17, 2019
552
I'm so sorry you're struggling with addiction (if you're comfortable with that term, doesn't mean a negative) here. And don't let anyone invalidate you either just because it's weed! A crutch is a crutch, whether it's sugar, weed, self harm, exercise.

I'm in the spot where weed saved me of serious (prescribed from doctor) pill addiction since the age of 10 when I was put of xan, addy, ambien (crazy right?!). I never smoked until I was like 20 and that was medically and then i never smoked a lot but during this whole situation I've seriously felt myself SO burnt out! I've never reached this point.

I'm in a bad physical situation right now (several broken bones, waiting to heal before I ctb :( ) and like I've had days of back to back that I've lost from edibles.. not good and it's freaked me out tbh.
Sorry for the rant. Pain is making me crazy!

Real question is how much do you think it's affectinf your day to day life? Can you parent functionally on it? (I'm not judging at all! Genuinely asking).

And I know what you mean as well about needing it. These past few months it's been trying to sleep—>as soon as I wake up which is always 3 or 4 am I'm literally grabbing my stuff before I even go
To the bathroom. It's interesting you posted this at the current time because I'm having some inner dialogue as well about this.

I'm also in an extremely frightening and abusive living situation, so as well as my injuries I mean... what am I going to do except knock myself out with edibles/carts that I'm wasting way too much money on that I literally don't have

I'm orobablh going to delete this because I ranted too much. It was a long night with the police. Family member threatened rape and i threw one of my crutches at him to try to get away (didn't hit him or anythjng but he pulled the pity card) and I'm the "abuser" because they are a "senior". (Being 65 doesn't mean shit- he's 2 feet taller than me and strong as an ox).

Yeah I'm definately oversharing and this ljterally went on until 7 am and I was locked out in a towel with no phone- this should be by own post. I'm going crazy. Feel free to delete this lol or I'll Pay you therapy fees for reading lmao


You're very strong for writing all of this out! If you do actually intend to do a detox at some point when it's an okay time for you, everybody here is super supportive!
Have you talked to anyone in person about your struggles? You sound miserable and I'm so very sorry, but I'm glad you do see a light at the end of the tunnel ! :)
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: Mistry420, SeekingSolace, Brackenshire and 4 others
MartyByrde

MartyByrde

Experienced
Mar 15, 2020
286
I fucking love good cannabis. Now that it's legal here, the only part that concerns me is how much I spend on it...which is basically all my income these days.
 
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: NeverGrowUp, dandan, Mistry420 and 1 other person
Lunaloveflood

Lunaloveflood

Member
Dec 27, 2019
56
Sorry to hear that you feel like this .. Weed can be a real buddy when you are feeling lonely. I've been smoking regularly for 4-5 years and I wanted to stop for a while bc it's too expensive and everyone around me thought it was the cause of all my problems (I think it's only a symptom). But every time I've tried it was so hard to do so, to the point of having really bad experiences of extreme sadness and desperation. I finally succeeded bc it's was harder to get weed with corona (and more expensive) + I was too anxious to go out (I'm already really anxious outside). So I don't really know how it happened but I just felt like I had no choice bc going out to get weed was so much more horrible than feeling the need to smoke (lol it's a really stupid way of quitting but it strangely it worked really well and was so much easier than I expected) All I want to say is don't feel guilty for maybe you'll quit when it's a good time for you and maybe you'll start smoking again but it's ok (i think I may fall back into it but now I have an example of easy quitting and it gives me hope) Just remember that the 1st month is the hardest and it's normal to feel really bad and it's totally normal to not want to stop bc you need it to function daily. I truly hope you'll find a healthy way to cope or the strength to wait until everything is aligned for you to quit safely and easily.
Ps: I don't believe 100% in a god but I've prayed for him(or her) to ease me the quitting and it worked. It's probably not the prayer that makes it easier for me but more the situation but maybe it worth a try.
 
  • Like
Reactions: itsamadworld, Supersadmommy90 and MartyByrde
DJ2000

DJ2000

Member
Apr 23, 2020
51
I had quit for several weeks before a life event happened that destabilized my life and moods, so I allowed myself to fall back into daily use. Usually I feel like shit in the morning and smoke shortly after waking up, then I keep smoking throughout the day. This morning I was like "I want to quit" but then my kids started crying and screaming, which is like a drill to the head, and plus I'm on my period and just feeling crappy overall, so after deferring my joint for 45 minutes I was like "not today". When I'm trying to quit weed my feelings and emotions overwhelm me. Everything hits me at once and I get very weepy. At 45 minutes into the withdrawal I was crying and in tears. I'm not saying weed doesn't have its therapeutic uses at times but I feel at this point I'm just addicted again and in a rut with it. I'm starting to get sick of the dependence and the negative health effects, always being in a fog, and always needing to smoke just to stifle my boredom and depression. Literally if I don't smoke and consume marijuana the withdrawals along with everything else I'm going through depression wise, just incapacitates me. The day feels like it will never end. The day that I spend withdrawing is the longest day. I had to function today with my family and my usual duties and routines so I smoked. Next time I have a few days to myself I'm going to try and do a detox. Even if it means I stay in bed for most of the day crying and feeling miserable, almost like having a flu or something. It is going to fucking suck because when I'm quitting weed my emotions just overwhelm me completely. I'm at such a vulnerable spot in my life after having just ended a relationship. I feel very lonely and depressed and I honestly can't cope with it any other way besides smoking weed. I can't wait until i can be strong enough to get healthy again. God grant me the strength.

I smoke weed all the time and I haven't gotten addicted to it. In fact, I haven't smoked any in the past few days and I didn't even notice or care.
That said, I use it medically for my Asbergers, so when I don't smoke it the symptoms get worse, but that's not the weeds fault. I would have had these symptoms no matter what, in fact they've gotten better even without smoking anything since I started using.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Supersadmommy90
T

TiredOfWakingUp

Member
Mar 8, 2020
11
When I was heavily using daily I would get irritable when I wasnt high. You can become dependant easily if you dont limit yourself daily, bad on the body and the wallet. Try eating quarter grams of oil every 3 days or so. It will stay in your system longer than smoking.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mistry420, Oyoy, oneess and 1 other person
DJ2000

DJ2000

Member
Apr 23, 2020
51
When I was heavily using daily I would get irritable when I wasnt high. You can become dependant easily if you dont limit yourself daily, bad on the body and the wallet. Try eating quarter grams of oil every 3 days or so. It will stay in your system longer than smoking.

that happened time when I was using a massive dose, but they're literally more manageable than caffeine withdrawals.
I fucking love good cannabis. Now that it's legal here, the only part that concerns me is how much I spend on it...which is basically all my income these days.
Use a bong, put in just enough for a single hit, breath it in without letting any of the smoke fly away, and hold it in for as long as you can. Most efficient way to smoke.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: BlackPoppet, Supersadmommy90 and dysfunctional
MartyByrde

MartyByrde

Experienced
Mar 15, 2020
286
When I was heavily using daily I would get irritable when I wasnt high. You can become dependant easily if you dont limit yourself daily, bad on the body and the wallet. Try eating quarter grams of oil every 3 days or so. It will stay in your system longer than smoking.
I'm not familiar with eating oil, other than what I make for cooking and baking with cannabis. Is the oil you mentioned the same as distillate?
 
T

TiredOfWakingUp

Member
Mar 8, 2020
11
I'm not familiar with eating oil, other than what I make for cooking and baking with cannabis. Is the oil you mentioned the same as distillate?
You can eat any type of oil. Butane Hash Oil, Ethanol oil, co2 oil, rick simpson oil, distillate. The THC gets stronger when it hits your stomach acid and has to be processed by the liver etc. Lasts longer as it comes in contact with a lot more organs than your throat and lungs. Edibles are expensive, so I buy grams of oil and syringe the dose out. Or freeze the gram puck and snap the gram into quarters to eat. You can swig cold oil down just like a pill. Drink citrus drinks with your edible and your experience will be even better.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MartyByrde
MartyByrde

MartyByrde

Experienced
Mar 15, 2020
286
You can eat any type of oil. Butane Hash Oil, Ethanol oil, co2 oil, rick simpson oil, distillate. The THC gets stronger when it hits your stomach acid and has to be processed by the liver etc. Lasts longer as it comes in contact with a lot more organs than your throat and lungs. Edibles are expensive, so I buy grams of oil and syringe the dose out. Or freeze the gram puck and snap the gram into quarters to eat. You can swig cold oil down just like a pill. Drink citrus drinks with your edible and your experience will be even better.
Thanks for the info. Sounds like there's some experimentation in my future. The effects lasting 3 days would be a dream for me.

I make my own edibles with my own oil. I can see that being drinkable. Distillate is so much more thick, goey and sticky. How do you swallow it?
 
dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
I've been a heavy marijauna user for 20 years. I really regard it as medicine. If you still get a good effect from it, I'd recommend not stopping.
The pain and depression without it can be way too much.
Unfortunately for me, I have bipolar 1. When I slip into a depressed phase, it stops working. Then things get really bad. That's where I am now and how I ended up back on this site.
Just my two cents. I'd stay on your herbal medicine as long as it works.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mistry420, Supersadmommy90 and MartyByrde
MartyByrde

MartyByrde

Experienced
Mar 15, 2020
286
I've been a heavy marijauna user for 20 years. I really regard it as medicine. If you still get a good effect from it, I'd recommend not stopping.
The pain and depression without it can be way too much.
Unfortunately for me, I have bipolar 1. When I slip into a depressed phase, it stops working. Then things get really bad. That's where I am now and how I ended up back on this site.
Just my two cents. I'd stay on your herbal medicine as long as it works.
I'm also bipolar 1 and I find it helps keep my mania in check. It can ease some if the suicidal desires I have when depressed by about 20%. Also relieves the anxiety that feels like it's eating me alive. I just need to find a way to spend less on it.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Brink, Mistry420 and Quarky00
dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
I'm also bipolar 1 and I find it helps keep my mania in check. It can ease some if the suicidal desires I have when depressed by about 20%. Also relieves the anxiety that feels like it's eating me alive. I just need to find a way to spend less on it.

Yeah the financial guilt is a factor. I started smoking again moderately after a year of being in an extreme depressed state. Then I got back into heavy use with dabs, etc. I think it may have triggered me back into mania. Which is why I recently stopped completely. It was making my head race a bit. But now I think it was a mistake to stop altogether. Felt better when I was smoking just a little. Now I'm scared to start again. My mind is not clear so I can't tell if this is right. Drinking excessively and taking latuda, so idk. Bipolar sucks.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mistry420, MartyByrde and Supersadmommy90
T

TiredOfWakingUp

Member
Mar 8, 2020
11
Thanks for the info. Sounds like there's some experimentation in my future. The effects lasting 3 days would be a dream for me.

I make my own edibles with my own oil. I can see that being drinkable. Distillate is so much more thick, goey and sticky. How do you swallow it?
Freeze the oil into pill size. Swallow with a drink like taking a pill. Wait an hour and enjoy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MartyByrde
MartyByrde

MartyByrde

Experienced
Mar 15, 2020
286
Yeah the financial guilt is a factor. I started smoking again moderately after a year of being in an extreme depressed state. Then I got back into heavy use with dabs, etc. I think it may have triggered me back into mania. Which is why I recently stopped completely. It was making my head race a bit. But now I think it was a mistake to stop altogether. Felt better when I was smoking just a little. Now I'm scared to start again. My mind is not clear so I can't tell if this is right. Drinking excessively and taking latuda, so idk. Bipolar sucks.
That's not the first time I've heard that about dabs. I'm old school and just use flower for the most part. Carts are handy for public use, so I use those as well.

What you describe is a lot like what I've read about how other people felt about dabs, especially after heavy use of them. They also say they go back to less potent ways to use, and it worked to relieve the bad effects of dabbing.

Whatever the case, I do hope you find some relief.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dysfunctional
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
My psychiatrist in my hospitalization program has one of my diagnoses as cannabis use disorder, though I don't think I have it.
 
DJ2000

DJ2000

Member
Apr 23, 2020
51
My psychiatrist in my hospitalization program has one of my diagnoses as cannabis use disorder, though I don't think I have it.

The Psychiatrists invented the diagnosis then diagnosed you with it. Mental Illness is a social construct.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Orpheus*, Oyoy and Squiddy
muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
I'm sorry you're going through this. I experienced something similar the past. Thankfully, weed is not physically addictive, so by learning to cope psychologically with your emotional experience in a different way, you can break free from this. Best of luck to you <3
 
  • Love
Reactions: Oyoy
DJ2000

DJ2000

Member
Apr 23, 2020
51
I'm sorry you're going through this. I experienced something similar the past. Thankfully, weed is not physically addictive, so by learning to cope psychologically with your emotional experience in a different way, you can break free from this. Best of luck to you <3

Weed is not just a euphorant. It's a mild psychedelic, causes derealization and depersonalization and has immense mind expanding potential. I only regret that I'm not able to get more stoned.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Oyoy
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
As a teenager I would smoke 100g of hash a month, and smoke a bowl on my bong every 30-45 minutes but I had a passion for bodybuilding so that helped.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Oyoy
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
I wouldn't say struggle exactly
 
  • Like
Reactions: Brink and Mistry420
TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
Yes I am physically addicted to benzodiazepines and mentally probably addictic to alcohol since I get drunk several times a weak including right now, it get rid of my anxiety and my hatred for the world mainly human kind so I usually get drunk when I get angry at humans i.e. misanthropy.
 
Mistry420

Mistry420

I don’t even like rollercoasters
Feb 11, 2020
60
I smoke everyday for about 9 years now, when I delay my morning smoke I can sense the irritated behaviour coming, so just prevent it, people tell me my problems are because of weed, but I had anxiety and a lot of paranoia from childhood so weed has relaxed me in my opinion, so hesitant to stop as don't want to withdraw and become paranoid again
 
Orpheus*

Orpheus*

Member
Apr 7, 2020
26
I had quit for several weeks before a life event happened that destabilized my life and moods, so I allowed myself to fall back into daily use. Usually I feel like shit in the morning and smoke shortly after waking up, then I keep smoking throughout the day. This morning I was like "I want to quit" but then my kids started crying and screaming, which is like a drill to the head, and plus I'm on my period and just feeling crappy overall, so after deferring my joint for 45 minutes I was like "not today". When I'm trying to quit weed my feelings and emotions overwhelm me. Everything hits me at once and I get very weepy. At 45 minutes into the withdrawal I was crying and in tears. I'm not saying weed doesn't have its therapeutic uses at times but I feel at this point I'm just addicted again and in a rut with it. I'm starting to get sick of the dependence and the negative health effects, always being in a fog, and always needing to smoke just to stifle my boredom and depression. Literally if I don't smoke and consume marijuana the withdrawals along with everything else I'm going through depression wise, just incapacitates me. The day feels like it will never end. The day that I spend withdrawing is the longest day. I had to function today with my family and my usual duties and routines so I smoked. Next time I have a few days to myself I'm going to try and do a detox. Even if it means I stay in bed for most of the day crying and feeling miserable, almost like having a flu or something. It is going to fucking suck because when I'm quitting weed my emotions just overwhelm me completely. I'm at such a vulnerable spot in my life after having just ended a relationship. I feel very lonely and depressed and I honestly can't cope with it any other way besides smoking weed. I can't wait until i can be strong enough to get healthy again. God grant me the strength.

How much are you smoking? I think of myself as addicted to weed sometimes and I smoke every day, but I rarely get stoned. Like when I smoke I'm usually just buzzed. I've never met anybody else who smokes like that and people think it's weird but doing that means my tolerance is always low and I'm pretty functional and never in that mental fog. I think it's a really good compromise between kinda an addict and always wanting to smoke but not feeling the guilt over that and still being a person.
 
R

rebelsue

Hope Addict
Dec 12, 2019
172
I had quit for several weeks before a life event happened that destabilized my life and moods, so I allowed myself to fall back into daily use. Usually I feel like shit in the morning and smoke shortly after waking up, then I keep smoking throughout the day. This morning I was like "I want to quit" but then my kids started crying and screaming, which is like a drill to the head, and plus I'm on my period and just feeling crappy overall, so after deferring my joint for 45 minutes I was like "not today". When I'm trying to quit weed my feelings and emotions overwhelm me. Everything hits me at once and I get very weepy. At 45 minutes into the withdrawal I was crying and in tears. I'm not saying weed doesn't have its therapeutic uses at times but I feel at this point I'm just addicted again and in a rut with it. I'm starting to get sick of the dependence and the negative health effects, always being in a fog, and always needing to smoke just to stifle my boredom and depression. Literally if I don't smoke and consume marijuana the withdrawals along with everything else I'm going through depression wise, just incapacitates me. The day feels like it will never end. The day that I spend withdrawing is the longest day. I had to function today with my family and my usual duties and routines so I smoked. Next time I have a few days to myself I'm going to try and do a detox. Even if it means I stay in bed for most of the day crying and feeling miserable, almost like having a flu or something. It is going to fucking suck because when I'm quitting weed my emotions just overwhelm me completely. I'm at such a vulnerable spot in my life after having just ended a relationship. I feel very lonely and depressed and I honestly can't cope with it any other way besides smoking weed. I can't wait until i can be strong enough to get healthy again. God grant me the strength.
I don't think marijuana is addictive. If it makes you feel better, use it. When I hear people talk about being addicted to marijuana it just sounds weird to me. Unless it's making you sadder or unproductive or something. If it helps you function, how is that any different from taking an antidepressant?

Maybe you need a sativa so it peps you up. Maybe you're smoking too much cheap shit or indica.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Supersadmommy90
MartyByrde

MartyByrde

Experienced
Mar 15, 2020
286
Just came back to say, I've been coating my cones in distillate for the past couple days. I feel like I just got back from space this morning! I may not need a h habit to survive this pain after all. Just an even more expensive weed habit. Anyway, highly recommend...no pun intended. I haven't felt that good in years!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mistry420, Supersadmommy90 and Brick In The Wall
Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I've never been physically addicted to the stuff but I have a severe mental addiction to it. I've smoked off and on for the majority of my life and I don't ever see that changing to be honest. I wish they'd just legalize it on the federal level and be done with it already.
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I've been smoking weed for the last twenty years. I've stopped in the 20 year period. Almost 4 years going to groups, I was addicted to pills and other stuff too and then maybe 1, and sometimes stopped for days, weeks, or months.

Maryjane it's a very particular kind of addicted to a non addictive substance. The thought of I'll be better, feel better, if I smoke crosses my mind often.
I have 1 day today without smoking, probably 48 hours or 2 days. I want to stop again, because after my depression got cured using Testosterone and dianabol , I went back to smoke and it does not help me during this recovery phase. I feel good, I smoked because I thought I could entertain myself this way, sadly it doesn't help now that I am feeling okay, buy when I smoke it just gets really hard to do stuff, I rather just enjoy or lay back and do nothing.
In other words I believe maryjane is responsible for me just laying back and not doing things.
I'll begin to not smoke, perhaps I can make it last years or maybe weeks, or days, who knows,?

I dont want ctb feelings to come back again. If they do, I still got N in the fridge, from last year when I've been at my worst or in my worst, at 22 or 23 I also had some severe depressive phase... fucking hormones.if I knew 20 years ago I could've saved myself so much time.... weed can lower bad feelings but also decreases /masks and numbs my good feelings now that I'm better. I really want to stop using it , been to rehab couple times , went to 1 severe rehab mexican camp too, been in meetings and shit.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Supersadmommy90
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
I'm anti-addicted to cannabis. Seem to get addicted to almost anything, but not cannabis.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Supersadmommy90
K

Kumachan

Specialist
Mar 5, 2020
396
I only struggle when theres no cannabis, like right now! piece of hash'd be nice...
 
  • Like
Reactions: NeverGrowUp and Supersadmommy90

Similar threads

iloveyouihateyou
Replies
31
Views
737
Offtopic
Lethargic8468
L
toxicjester
Replies
10
Views
508
Suicide Discussion
toxicjester
toxicjester
T
Replies
11
Views
417
Suicide Discussion
maniac116
maniac116
P
Replies
9
Views
437
Suicide Discussion
Uk2023
U
Noct
Replies
3
Views
230
Suicide Discussion
FuneralCry
FuneralCry