Supersadmommy90
Student
- Sep 24, 2019
- 186
I had quit for several weeks before a life event happened that destabilized my life and moods, so I allowed myself to fall back into daily use. Usually I feel like shit in the morning and smoke shortly after waking up, then I keep smoking throughout the day. This morning I was like "I want to quit" but then my kids started crying and screaming, which is like a drill to the head, and plus I'm on my period and just feeling crappy overall, so after deferring my joint for 45 minutes I was like "not today". When I'm trying to quit weed my feelings and emotions overwhelm me. Everything hits me at once and I get very weepy. At 45 minutes into the withdrawal I was crying and in tears. I'm not saying weed doesn't have its therapeutic uses at times but I feel at this point I'm just addicted again and in a rut with it. I'm starting to get sick of the dependence and the negative health effects, always being in a fog, and always needing to smoke just to stifle my boredom and depression. Literally if I don't smoke and consume marijuana the withdrawals along with everything else I'm going through depression wise, just incapacitates me. The day feels like it will never end. The day that I spend withdrawing is the longest day. I had to function today with my family and my usual duties and routines so I smoked. Next time I have a few days to myself I'm going to try and do a detox. Even if it means I stay in bed for most of the day crying and feeling miserable, almost like having a flu or something. It is going to fucking suck because when I'm quitting weed my emotions just overwhelm me completely. I'm at such a vulnerable spot in my life after having just ended a relationship. I feel very lonely and depressed and I honestly can't cope with it any other way besides smoking weed. I can't wait until i can be strong enough to get healthy again. God grant me the strength.