Anyone else wanna(at least partly) ctb because of failed dreams, dead ambitions, hopelessness, etc?

[FadingDawn]

title.. too tired and fed up to type shit

 

[insideitsempty]

as a failure to society yes
my art wasnt good enough to get into art school and yea
ive been learning but it's too late to get another chance to apply which is stupid

 

[ramon]

Cause: Based on levels of employability, I ignored my passion for graphic arts and took my father's advice on pursuing a career as an electronics technician.
Effect: The labor market showed me I was a good student (I graduated with honors in electronics and telecommunications), and an incompetent technician. Most of my past employers, at best, think I'm mediocre. Also I'm now too old for the market (turn 26 and you're already obsolete for the field).

Cause: Taught myself 2D animation and animation script writing (too old to go back to school), did some animated shorts, uploaded those shorts, and promoted them any way you could think of (social media, paid advertisement, forums, word of mouth, etc.)
Effect: After +10 years of animating and promoting my work, I got no significant amount of attention, and profitability (at the time of this post) is USD$0.00.

Cause: Technology and arts discarded as sources of income, I decided to take stocks, forex, and crypto trade courses.
Effect: Found out my advanced age, my limited income, my (higher by the year) expenses, and the viciousness of such markets make this alternative neither viable on the short run, nor on the long one.

Cause: Trying to solve internal issues that made women reject me, starting in my 20s, I spent an unholy amount of time, efforts, and money on psychiatrists, seduction lessons on the internet (books, audio, videos), and even dance lessons.
Effect: Still getting little or no positive results on turning any friendly interaction with women into a romantic/sexual one. THE WOMEN I'VE TALKED TO ARE NOT AT FAULT FOR THIS!!! THIS IS ALL ON ME!!!

Cause: Being bullied in different ways, from childhood till this day, I took martial arts lessons (different styles including boxing), internet couses on how to stop psychological bullying, and even negotiation courses.
Effect: (Yeah, you guessed it) Still bullied by others, to this day. Plot twist: I became a bully myself.

And even becoming economically autonomous, sexually irresisistible, and mentally strong today is pointless as the perks of such qualities could only be enjoyed at past life stages of a middle aged man like me.

Now, where did I put that nitrogen cylinder? Has anybody seen my exit bag?

 

[motherofmahesh]

Yes. Something happened over the past ten years that made me shut down. I don't know what it is but I physically feel like I can't do anything (I can move but I feel frozen) I don't enjoy anything, I don't want anything. I just want to die in my sleep.

 

[GreyCTB]

Yes, I hate AI developments and that they want to kill human creativity with it.

 

[FadingDawn]

Yes, I hate AI developments and that they want to kill human creativity with it.

Accurate pfp.

 

[lnlybnny]

Yep. I see no other way out

 

[newstart2000]

I ticked all the boxes.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Kind of. I partially got my dream/ ambition but, it's not giving me the same sense of purpose/ fulfilment it used to. I'm just very, very tired.

In effect, I've lost my motivation to climb higher but, given the nature of the (creative) job, I have to work extremely hard to just stay at the level I am. So, while I've mentally let go of the worry to succeed- which has been a relief, I still have to swim frantically against the current so I don't drown! Or get washed back down to a non creative job I'd hate even more. I just feel at the stage of not particularly liking any of my options... Hence why the option to end it all is so appealing.

 

[newstart2000]

I am quit ill, not matter physically or mentally. As depression developed, a psychiatrist diagnosed me with psychosis. Now in my family, they don't believe my thoughts, they all believe I am sick and have delusions. My life is failed. I just worry about my little one.

 

[charaunderground]

A little?

I was a near-gifted kid. Not quite smart enough to get into the official "gifted" programs, but in a couple honors classes (mostly wrt English / Language Arts). Then the depression truck hit when I ~11, my grades tanked, and I never recovered.

I'm now in my early-late 20s and a college dropout. I work a full time job for decent pay, but sometimes I do wonder what I'd be doing now if none of it had happened. :[