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I slept all day then woke up at like 1pm and have been between this site and Reddit time to go for 11 straight hours. I have no interest in anything else except how I'll be able to die. Anyone else ? Or am I just extra fucked up
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, agreement, LivedTooLong and 21 others
I slept all day then woke up at like 1pm and have been between this site and Reddit time to go for 11 straight hours. I have no interest in anything else except how I'll be able to die. Anyone else ? Or am I just extra fucked up
Has something happened to make you want to die immediately? I'd suggest keeping on top of your classes while you still have the chance if you're unsure? Sorry if that's unwelcome but you've only been here for a day and you seem overly concerned about it.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, color_me_gone and 4 others
Exactly! I've been thinking about that too. But I still want my suicide to appear as an accident so I'm trying to keep up a front. It's hard because I really struggle to hide my depression, so anyway I die people will be suspicious. Just been praying each night before bed for cardiac arrest
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, color_me_gone and 3 others
Has something happened to make you want to die immediately? I'd suggest keeping on top of your classes while you still have the chance if you're unsure? Sorry if that's unwelcome but you've only been here for a day and you seem overly concerned about it.
Yes, just realized that my mental is unfixable and the reason for my suffering. I've been reading these forums for a few months now I'm just now making an account though. It's not unwelcome I appreciate your advice.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, color_me_gone and 4 others
Life itself is a pointless waste. Everyone is wasting their time here and of those who feel like they should spend their time doing something that society has instilled into them only do so because they believe it will make a difference when it's all in vain. What is there to achieve? No one will remember us for our struggles and life is already too short for suicidal people than to worry about some arbitrary goal set by social norms. What's so wrong about laying around and doing nothing and just relax? It's like if somebody doesn't have any goals then everybody thinks they're missing out on life when it's the other way around.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Mark Edward, agreement and 12 others
Yes, just realized that my mental is unfixable and the reason for my suffering. I've been reading these forums for a few months now I'm just now making an account though. It's not unwelcome I appreciate your advice.
Yeah it kinda does that to you.. just be careful and don't feel too pressured to post either way, please make your decision naturally if that makes sense.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, color_me_gone and 4 others
Exactly! I've been thinking about that too. But I still want my suicide to appear as an accident so I'm trying to keep up a front. It's hard because I really struggle to hide my depression, so anyway I die people will be suspicious. Just been praying each night before bed for cardiac arrest
Sometimes getting so invested in my studies helps take my mind off ctb- I really wanna go though.
I don't know what I'm gonna do after graduation.. I majored in a liberal arts subject.. might as well be working at Starbucks
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, color_me_gone and 6 others
Yes, completely brain dead spending days scrolling mindlessly through reddit and SS which I'm tired of but still do this to myself. I don't even have an obsession with SS, I feel nothing, other option would be staring the ceiling. But I have hope I start reading books again instead of that.
Same. I'm obsessed with reading up on methods even though I've chosen my method already. It's addictive here because it's the only place where I feel accepted. In chat I can express my wish to die for the first time in my life without being judged. I split my time between this site and watching Netflix. I always have my eye open for any interesting CTB stories or methods that come up. I gave up on Reddit's Suicide Watch because of the annoying pro-lifers spouting random crap and platitudes.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, TheCrow and 7 others
I'm on here all the time, but I don't beat myself up as far as how I pass the time anymore. What's the point? Life is hard and shitty. If you can get by while doing things that are easy, pleasant and predictable, you'd be silly not to.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, TheCrow and 7 others
I've lived with mental issues all my life, desiring with all my heart that the next day I wouldn't wake up. But I also tried to do all the stuff society expects from you (of course, procrastinating as hell, and struggling with loads of problems at the same time), hoping in secret that maybe, just maybe one day I was going to have a normal life (be with someone who could accept me for who I am, and so on). But that day never came. Nowadays I do nothing. I'm just preparing myself to die. I'd just say _it's ok to be fucked up_.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Deafsn0w, TheCrow and 4 others
Yeah, I know what you mean. Being on my computer from morning till I go to bed is pretty much normal for me, what changes is just where I waste my time. I get crazy addicted to sites like this or reddit, although the latter I don't use as much anymore.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, LivedTooLong, Deafsn0w and 6 others
Yeah, I've been on here pretty much all day for a couple weeks now? It's honestly really sad. I just don't have the energy to do much else anymore. I could go and play video games but then I'll have to get up and turn on the Switch and the TV and then get the charger and I'm just too tired. Sometimes I'll go on walks or I'll go out with my family but I'll still end up checking here. I haven't seen any of my friends since before Christmas, everyone's always busy, I'm dreading seeing them at college because I'll have to put what little energy I have left into acting happy and I'll have to see my ex as well which is always hard. So coming on here and interacting with everyone is the least-draining thing I can do and does a hell of a lot to help me feel less lonely and a little more understood; I guess that's what so addicting about it.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, mattwitt, Deafsn0w and 5 others
The same for me. This site is so amazing though, everyone is so open-minded and kind. I love everyone on here, this is my favorite place on the internet.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Redt2go and therhydler
I've used this site to burn time until my ctb and have spent an ungodly amount of time on it the last month. If it weren't for for this place I would have pushed my date sooner and not gone out like I would have like and been utterly consumed by anxiety (I get extreme anxiety when I am biting at the bit to do something).
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Redt2go and therhydler
I think I wasted my life on the internet since I was 13, so being here is just a subsequent consequence of not learning how to survive this fucked world.
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stellabelle, RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, LivedTooLong and 4 others
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