Anyone have a bad therapist?

[DepressedAngel]

I finally decided I want to try to get better so I started therapy only to find my therapist thinks I'm manipulative and am lying to her?? She thinks I pretend I have suicidal thoughts to get attention. Anyone else have a similar experience and how they dealt with it?

 

[YukiFox]

Precisely I promised myself that I will not mention any death thoughts with my next therapist. They always being defensive and unsupportive. At my teen years I had a serious suicidal intention and my therapist told me that ideation was because I was confused about my sexual orientation (In that years I think I was gay), and that ashamed me to being revealed to my family and friends. Instead to heal my suicidal ideation, she tried to convince me that I wasn' t gay, and I only searched gay sex for the "Easier" way to find it (It was the first years of broadband Internet, so it was better to connect and find a chat or forum to date another boys). So, since then I lost confidence with that therapist. She priorized her opinion against homosexuality instead to treat a more serious warning that I was thinking to hang myself at my bathroom. TL:DR conclusion: I overcame that death thoughts that month and never step again in that therapist office.

 

[DepressedAngel]

Precisely I promised myself that I will not mention any death thoughts with my next therapist. They always being defensive and unsupportive. At my teen years I have a serious suicidal intention and my therapist told me that ideation was because I was confused about my sexual orientation (In that years I think I was gay), and that ashamed me to being revealed to my family and friends. Instead to heal my suicidal ideation, she tried to convince me that I wasn' t gay, and I only searched gay sex for the "Easier" way to find it (It was the first years of broadband Internet, so it was better to connect and find a chat or forum to date another boys). So, since then I lost confidence with that therapist. She priorized her opinion against homosexuality instead to treat a more serious warning that I was thinking to hang myself at my bathroom. TL:DR conclusion: I overcame that death thoughts that month and never step again in that therapist office.

Wow I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've also had therapists ignore the fact I want to hang myself and instead tell me things like "everyone feels hopeless occasionally". It sucks that bad therapists exist but I suppose it all comes down to us and what we choose to do.

 

[Santiago]

Move on to a different therapist.

We talked about this a while ago in some other thread when I was amazed at the amount of people here who hate their therapist, but still go and just lie.

It makes no sense whatsoever to me. Just quit. You are likely paying them a lot of money.

 

[Grandexit]

I found someone that I can tell I'm flat out waiting to ctb. She said If I tell her specifically that I'm moving in the direction of planning and prep that's when mandated reporting comes in. It's nice to say some things out loud and not get a freak out in or a trip to the loony bin. But as a matter of making me not want to ctb, therapy has done fuck-all. It's just an hour to vent.

 

[Egddios]

Trust your gut when you start seeing a therapist. If the connection isn't there, don't torture yourself by continuing to see a therapist you're uncomfortable with.

I've seen quite a few therapists over the years and the best was a woman named Monica, in NYC (I was living in NJ across the river at the time so going into Manhattan was fairly easy). I felt comfortable with her, she listened to me without judgement, was compassionate and smart, and funny! Ah, those were the days (laughs darkly).

Just stopped seeing my most recent therapist....I dreaded those appointments.

 

[FullCircle]

I saw multiple therapists before I found one who understands severe depression. Good ones are out there.

 

[Hydrokhoos]

I've seen multiple therapists and get disappointed every time. My last therapist was incredibly nice and understanding, but pretty useless as far as helping me get better. I went into it telling him I had three specific goals I wanted to get out of therapy, and any time I went in telling him I was upset because I did something that is detrimental to the goals I want to achieve and to my mental health, he would justify my shitty actions for me. I wasn't paying him tons of money and driving over an hour to see him to still be as bad off mentally as I was before.

 

[mediocre]

I had a few physiatrists as a teenager and I just remember them being so patronising. I didn't mention anything about being suicidal because I thought I'd be sectioned. At that point my voice issues were so bad I am male and my voice didn't break at around 13 as it should into a deeper voice it was kind of stuck in between. So I spent a couple of years whispering because I couldn't use my voice. I eventually went to a speech therapist but they didn't help much. Still have voice issues. They were all just so unhelpful I actually think they done me more harm mentally than good. I'd never see a therapist again if I had the choice.

 

[pieces]

Therapists are just humans like us, with their own fears and struggles. I've always been careful because I know they sieve what we tell them through their own experiences, knowledges, beliefs and obsessions... and they can be biased just like us.

A friend of mine said I could see her therapist but I didn't feel it so much when she told me he used to explain and analyze her struggles through Freudian theory. I've read Freud and even if I find his ramblings interesting and full of literary ingenuity, I don't find them more explanative of human nature and the way consciousness and the unconscious works, than any other text on pseudoscience, self-help, philosophy, etc.

But I understand that sometimes a different outlook (ie. your therapist's) can give one some answers or help to see matters in other light and that can make all the difference.

 

[Morphinekiss]

Therapists all have their different specialties/ school of thought. Sometimes you have to "shop" around. Mine flat out told me if I was actively suicidal he was the not right doctor for me and he could refer me to a colleague. We discuss my pro choice view points, but otherwise I just use him to vent about my bullshit family and health and he validated my feelings and offers unbiased opinions. It took me years to find him though.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I had several bad ones.
First one I visited as a Sophomore in high school. He said I was being overdramatic. And that apparently my problems weren't valid. I was also accused of being an attention seeker. Never went to that guy again.
Second one was nice but didn't really have time (terribly organized hospital, don't ask). I was also a Sophomore the first time I met her. Third week of my Junior year in high school I got hospitalised after my first suicide attempt. We didn't really make progress but I don't dislike her.
I once went to some other guy instead of her because she couldn't make it, and he said, I kid you not: "How can you be depressed when you are clearly in a good mood! Look, you are smiling!"
I'm not even going to comment on that one.
Eventually I had to stop going ti the second one because she was a child psychologist and I turned 18.
My fourth and last one. She didn't do anything as insulting as the two males, but she was cold and distant, and always left in the middle of a session. I once waited an hour to meet her FOR 5 MINUTES. She was also "busy", but this time it's no excuse because that other hospital was alright organization wise.
I'm going to try to make an appointment with someone else this january but let's just say I don't exactly trust people in this profession anymore.

 

[Mr2005]

I had therapy for body dismorphia instead of joining a plastic surgery forum. I'm now traumatised

 

[DepressedAngel]

Move on to a different therapist.

We talked about this a while ago in some other thread when I was amazed at the amount of people here who hate their therapist, but still go and just lie.

It makes no sense whatsoever to me. Just quit. You are likely paying them a lot of money.

I see your point, the problem for me isn't that i cant change therapists easily. So I'm not sure if I should should keep lying to her and leaving every session disappointed and exhausted or just not say anything or something else I have want thought of?

 

[C_F]

That sucks @DepressedAngel!! That's so messed up. You HAVE to switch therapists ASAP.

I finally gave in to see one two years ago as a last ditch effort, I guess. Promised my at the time bf I would try. At my second $250/hour session, she asked the same questions over again and then told me literally, "Well, you seem intelligent and you're pretty, so I don't know why you'd feel this way". WTF. Never went back and I'm done.

Finding a suitable therapist is sadly difficult

 

[TAW122]

I had plenty of bad therapists, though not in the sense of trying to fabricate things and invent things that weren't there to begin with. One example would be when I had a therapist (over two years ago - while I was still in uni studying) who invalidated my needs and wants. So how it went was when I mentioned how much I needed and craved physical affection as a cope for life's shittiness, she told me that I was lonely and that I should do away with something that "had" been mostly helpful during my hard times (pretty stupid of her to say that and dismiss me imo), which in this case, physical affection. I was infuriated, frustrated, and felt even more helpless as well as drained. I would have been wise to just not have gone back to therapy at the time.

Going back and reflecting on my experience, I feel like it was quite naive for me to think that I'd get an legitimate answer/ground breaking solution (there was none except for a waste of time as well as added frustration and helplessness). I would have been better off just doing whatever I was doing and suffering through until I found my own "solution" even if it was a mal-adaptive cope.

Imho, even if there was a good therapist, it wouldn't have done me any good (I am only speaking for myself as well as people who think alike) as I already have the self-introspection to arrive at conclusions that I have already, I am honest with myself (or as much as I can, barring any short term irrational bouts), and also, they don't have the solutions, thus I am wasting my own time, money, and energy to gain nothing, yet risk an uninvited prying of my personal life as well someday saying the wrong thing or wrongthink that results in forced imprisonment/hospitalization/psych hold. It's like playing with fire, you might not get burned today or tomorrow, but someday and sometime, it can (and will) catch up to you.

 

[Azzy69]

I have severe social anxiety and sometimes all I can do is nod and shake my head. When I was 14 I had a therapist say to me, "I have other people waiting to see me if you are not willing to comply". It felt like a ton of bricks fell on top of me. She did not even try to discuss the route causes of my social anxiety with me. I went home crying and my mother called her and asked what had made me upset and she denied saying anything. I never want back.

 

[DepressedAngel]

I have severe social anxiety and sometimes all I can do is nod and shake my head. When I was 14 I had a therapist say to me, "I have other people waiting to see me if you are not willing to comply". It felt like a ton of bricks fell on top of me. She did not even try to discuss the route causes of my social anxiety with me. I went home crying and my mother called her and asked what had made me upset and she denied saying anything. I never want back.

THat sounds like a terrible experience. I'm so sorry Azzy!

That sucks @DepressedAngel!! That's so messed up. You HAVE to switch therapists ASAP.

I finally gave in to see one two years ago as a last ditch effort, I guess. Promised my at the time bf I would try. At my second $250/hour session, she asked the same questions over again and then told me literally, "Well, you seem intelligent and you're pretty, so I don't know why you'd feel this way". WTF. Never went back and I'm done.

Finding a suitable therapist is sadly difficult

Unfortaunetlt I just found out for sure no therapist near here wants to take me. :( Also, my old therapist said something like that to me once! It sucks people can't be so judgy and I'm sorry that happened to you.

 

[I'm exhausted]

2 psychiatrists made me cry. Ridiculed, mocked and threatened me saying I'm being dramatic.

I had 2 therapists ghost on me.

And I'm told get help.

LOL

 

[mathieu]

I was told by one therapist my previous diagnosis of bipolar was incorrect because I seem stable at the moment and bipolar people are never stable always up or down :rolleyes:
Clearly didn't know what he was talking about. Bipolar has periods or stability for most people especially when you're on mood stabilisers as I am. He thought all my problems stemmed from using crystal meth for two months as a teenager. I only saw him like three times so he was making all these judgements without having talked to me much.

 

[Winniethepooh]

All the therapists I've had have been horrible people and bad therapists.

 

[DepressedAngel]

All the therapists I've had have been horrible people and bad therapists.

I'm so so sorry. I'm sure you deserve better.