Venting Anyone turned from caring into a misanthrope?

[Morning Angel]

I used to be a caring, giving person toward others. I used to believe in inherent good of people and idealistically thought that everyone was interconnected. I used to love to listen to people and often let myself get trapped in conversations with people who needed a listening ear. In these last few months of life, my tolerance and opinion of people has gotten lower and lower... and unfortunately it's become clear to me that I have become a misanthrope.

I often can't stand people for their limitations, their selfishness/laziness, their capacity to hurt, and general lack of concern for anyone outside of themselves. I'm not saying I'm God's gift to the world by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems like ages since I've met anyone I can truly respect or admire. I'm not proud of this.

I have lost so much faith in people, particularly people in my life. I know other people online come and go, so I know what to expect there.... but I wish I didn't know as much as I do now about the way people are in general or how this world operates. This place just feels too cruel and I cannot participate or play along anymore.

Edit: I should mention I've had some whacked out stuff happen to me this year that got me to this place.

 

[Morning Angel]

I used to be a caring, giving person toward others. I used to love to listen to people and often let myself get trapped in conversations with people who needed a listening ear. In these last few months my tolerance and opinion of people gotten lower and lower... and it's becoming clear to me that I have become a misanthrope. I often can't stand people for their limitations, their selfishness/laziness, their capacity to hurt, and general lack of concern for anyone outside of themselves. I'm not saying I'm God's gift to the world by any stretch but seems like ages since I've met anyone I can truly respect or admire.

I have lost so much faith in people, particularly people in my life. I know other people online come and go, so that's a different story... but I wish I didn't know as much as I do now about the way people are in general.

 

[Midnight]

No but i wish i could change. I could be at the lowest low and still put others first.

 

[Morning Angel]

No but i wish i could change. I could be at the lowest low and still put others first.

I don't think people like you are very typical then.

 

[Living_Ghost]

I used to be a caring, giving person toward others. I used to believe in inherent good of people and thought idealistically that everyone was interconnected. I used to love to listen to people and often let myself get trapped in conversations with people who needed a listening ear. In these last few months of life, my tolerance and opinion of people has gotten lower and lower... and unfortunately it's become clear to me that I have become a misanthrope.

I often can't stand people for their limitations, their selfishness/laziness, their capacity to hurt, and general lack of concern for anyone outside of themselves. I'm not saying I'm God's gift to the world by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems like ages since I've met anyone I can truly respect or admire. I'm not proud of this.

I have lost so much faith in people, particularly people in my life. I know other people online come and go, so I know what to expect there.... but I wish I didn't know as much as I do now about the way people are in general or how this world operates. This place just feels too cruel.

Edit: I should mention I've had some whacked out stuff happen to me this year that got me to this place.

I agree fully with you ,and mostly feel like this now. I think when one gets to this place its a big step closer to suicide

 

[Morning Angel]

I agree fully with you ,and mostly feel like this now. I think when one gets to this place its a big step closer to suicide

You think? How so?

 

[Living_Ghost]

You think? How so?

Because its a severing of connections and giving up on the futility of trying to please others while living in pain ourselves. I see the vast majority of people for what they are now ,self centered assholes who don't care if I live or die. No empathy for others just pure greed . Nobody above you in a better place will stoop so low as to help those below them ,less you drag them down. So fuck them all .

 

[Morning Angel]

Because its a severing of connections and giving up on the futility of trying to please others while living in pain ourselves. I see the vast majority of people for what they are now ,self centered assholes who don't care if I live or die. No empathy for others just pure greed . Nobody above you in a better place will stoop so low as to help those below them ,less you drag them down. So fuck them all .

Well I'm weird. It's like I still want humanity to succeed and improve but I don't see how it could, given the basic nature of humans. I still believe intellectually that people can be selfish or good, but I myself have so little tolerance for people's antics. Granted I've been lied to, stolen from, let down, and misled more than I could say in the last couple years. It would never occur to me to do a lot of these things to another person... it just sucks that as a human we are wired to need each other, but it's so easy to get hurt by others too.

 

[Living_Ghost]

Well I'm weird. It's like I still want humanity to succeed and improve but I don't see how it could given the basic nature of humans. I still believe intellectually that people can be selfish or good, but I myself have so little tolerance for people's antics. Granted I've been lied to, stolen from, let down and misled more than I could say in the last couple years. It just sucks that as a human we are wired to need each other, but it's so easy to get hurt by others too.

Ah well ,I think people with depression can be easy targets . Usually have empathy for others and are too trusting maybe. People will take advantage and use you anyway they can

 

[Morning Angel]

Ah well ,I think people with depression can be easy targets . Usually have empathy for others and are too trusting maybe. People will take advantage and use you anyway they can

Ironically, some of the biggest disappointments have come people whose self image is that they are good. Anytime I hear someone justify their selfish actions with "Well I'm still basically a good person," it makes me cringe so f-ing hard.

 

[Plankter]

Not like how you explained but in a broader sense yes

I used to care about myself and my well being but now i dont care the slightest about my mental health. I used to be concerned with how my life was going but now i just live along most of the time

 

[Tiburcio]

I used to be good with everyone but my hate ended consuming me. Now I'm practically a beast who wants to do injuries and attacks constantly against others followed by my fury. Humans make me sick; years ago my goal was being good with everyone until I discovered they devour the kind persons for considering them weak, now I want to fulfill my bloodlust.

My hate went too far and I did too much damage, even to persons who didn't deserve it. Humans can corrupt you and make you becoming one of them, another soul to the void.

 

[Living_Ghost]

I used to be good with everyone but my hate ended consuming me. Now I'm practically a beast who wants to do injuries and attacks constantly against others followed by my fury. Humans make me sick; years ago my goal was being good with everyone until I discovered they devour the kind persons for considering them weak, now I want to fulfill my bloodlust.

My hate went too far and I did too much damage, even to persons who didn't deserve it. Humans can corrupt you and make you becoming one of them, another soul to the void.

I know the feeling but we must try to avoid taking our hate out on others as much as possible . This is our shit to deal with and mostly we must suffer it alone.

 

[Tiburcio]

I know the feeling but we must try to avoid taking our hate out on others as much as possible . This is our shit to deal with and mostly we must suffer it alone.

I try it with all my heart

 

[Comatose11]

Yes. I used to love humanity as a whole, saw the good in everyone, etc. But now I'm a total misanthrope.

 

[Morning Angel]

Yes. I used to love humanity as a whole, saw the good in everyone, etc. But now I'm a total misanthrope.

Okay, I'm glad I'm not alone. Whenever I have to interact with people now, I don't take their words too seriously anymore because I know if they are talking to me, they might want something out of me. I don't feel good about it.

 

[uxorious]

I know what you mean. It's hard to feel any real respect when you been hurt so many times, and after too many runs of that it gets tiring. Then I feel worse because I know I'm no better, really :(

 

[Mr2004]

I think sadly it's mostly the good people that are suicidal but once suicidal it has a tendency to turn us into selfish arseholes too. After a lifetime of disappointment

 

[alwaystired96]

I feel the same way. I use to be very caring and giving. I always saw the good In others and couldn't say no to a homeless in need or donating at the checkout even if I barely had enough money to get by myself. Then people started to take advantage of my kindness and my ability to say no. If your a nice giving person people will suck you dry. I would allow people to stay with me if they needed a place for them to only turn around and damage my apartment, steal from me, and just disrespect me. This one girl would smoke cigarettes and ash on my carpet and would invite random people over. I had this one couple stay with me that I had to kick out because I heard them talking about robbing me one night and the guy talked about raping me. After I kicked them out they came back one night and broke my windows. Called the police and they acted like they didn't care.I also had this guy who needed a place to stay for probation and I thought he was going to help me with rent which he didn't. He didn't have a job so I ended up paying for food and supporting him. He stole 200$ from me. I went shopping with a guy who I thought liked me and on the spot he would ask me to buy him stuff! I spent 600$ on him. He also flirted with the cashier. I've been raped and sexually assaulted within this past year. I can go on and on about how much people are so fucking selfish and I how much I hate humans so much!

 

[alwaystired96]

When I make a friend they turn out to be a snake. I had a friend try to steal 600$ from me. I made sure I got my money back though. I hate people with a passion. When your nice you just get stepped on. Last week a homeless man I use to give money too asked me for some money and I just ignored him. I kept walking and he kept yelling after me like a money hungry greedy pig. I don't have a job and I'm struggling so even if I did wanted to give him money I couldn't. I'm fed up with the fucking world. What's the point in doing nice things anymore?! The universe never rewarded me for it anyways. I was a good person and shitty things would just happen. I don't want to make this religious but I use to believe in God. I use to pray to him to help me do the right thing and make the right choices. I use to ask him to help me through hard times. Instead things got worse. He never answered one fucking prayer yet. If God's real He's a real asshole. I'm sorry if I offended anyone but that's how I feel at this point.

 

[Living_Ghost]

I feel the same way. I use to be very caring and giving. I always saw the good In others and couldn't say no to a homeless in need or donating at the checkout even if I barely had enough money to get by myself. Then people started to take advantage of my kindness and my ability to say no. If your a nice giving person people will suck you dry. I would allow people to stay with me if they needed a place for them to only turn around and damage my apartment, steal from me, and just disrespect me. This one girl would smoke cigarettes and ash on my carpet and would invite random people over. I had this one couple stay with me that I had to kick out because I heard them talking about robbing me one night and the guy talked about raping me. After I kicked them out they came back one night and broke my windows. Called the police and they acted like they didn't care.I also had this guy who needed a place to stay for probation and I thought he was going to help me with rent which he didn't. He didn't have a job so I ended up paying for food and supporting him. He stole 200$ from me. I went shopping with a guy who I thought liked me and on the spot he would ask me to buy him stuff! I spent 600$ on him. He also flirted with the cashier. I've been raped and sexually assaulted within this past year. I can go on and on about how much people are so fucking selfish and I how much I hate humans so much!

You have had a really rough time it seems. At least here you will meet the kindest people even if we are near the end of the line

 

[alwaystired96]

You have had a really rough time it seems. At least here you will meet the kindest people even if we are near the end of the line

I already feel very at home and can relate to a lot of these post. It's helping me feel not so alone. I have been through a lot and sadly that not all of it. I can just go on and on. I know how the world works and how people are and I don't want any part of it anymore. I'm really happy I came across this site.

 

[Morning Angel]

I'm getting myself banned tomorrow. I've deeply appreciated all the comments on this thread so much because underneath the misanthropy is a history of hurt - and it's brought me some comfort to know I've not experienced this alone. If any of you need a friend feel free to PM me. I'll be off this site soon but perhaps we can stay in touch. xx

 

[Morning Angel]

I know what you mean. It's hard to feel any real respect when you been hurt so many times, and after too many runs of that it gets tiring. Then I feel worse because I know I'm no better, really :(

I feel the same. I'm no better.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

When I was little, I thought every one was nice, trustworthy and honest.

I didn't realize until I was in my late teens, early twenties, that there were people who'd deliberately act one way torwards me and feel another. Simply because it was polite, or they wanted something from me, or they just got off on being deceitful and patronizing.

I try to avoid full blown misanthropy by avoiding social interaction.

When I'm alone it's easy to remember that no one choices the time or place they pop into existence. We have no say in the genes we were given, no say in the early experiences that lay the ground work for our personalities. Hell, even our names are initially thrust upon us. Which may not seem like a big deal. Unless you were given an unfortunate name.

As long as I'm by myself, I take no offense to the fact that people are inherently self serving. Or, that we gravitate towards whatever promises the least bit of discomfort. Or max amount of comfort, depending on which direction your energy flows.

I know we are all so vastly unique in our sameness (like cats) that it almost doesn't make sense for me to get upset when someone else's idea of discomfort/ comfort and self preservation is different than my own.

We're all just following our programming.
We can only be who we are.

When with people, I hate them. Maybe not for the same reasons you've listed. But, it's still because their values don't align with mine. I'm also pretty neurotic.

In traffic, it's NOTHING for me to forget that everyone within a 50 mile radius of my apartment didn't get together the night before to make sure I'd miss every damn green light.

Then, I get back home and remember, no one really gives a damn about me, because they are just as stuck in their life trajectory as I am in mine.

Not to mention, I'm sure I've been cast as the asshole in someone else's production plenty of times. Even when i had no ill intent.

With all of that being said, you have every right to feel how you feel. Determinism doesn't negate pain. I'm sorry you've experienced a rough year.

Much luck.

 

[Dead_Inside]

Yep .... I still enjoy the company of people I find here on this site.... but in the outside world? The place that wholly fuck me over?
I can't let myself get hurt anymore. Isn't it good enough I want to kill myself? Why do people who are my "friends" fight with me now? Why can't life give it a fucking rest? Damn I wish I was dead.

 

[Deleted member 1496]

OMG, yes! I used to think everyone had empathy. But I've realized some people don't have it at all, or if they do, it's a fleeting moment and by the next day...or fifteen minutes later, they've dismissed whatever they could have learned. Nowadays I think most people live in their own bubble and couldn't see the other side of the coin...even the coin was flipped.

I used to read interviews and essays on how this world might be a better place. But now I don't think there's much hope for the world. It goes from one extreme to another, with the loudest, more violent, or most dismissive people dominating the landscape.

I used to believe talking and negotiating would really make a change. But now I believe talking is usually futile. They want what they want, they see what they see, and they're not trying to listen, empathize, or negotiate. Not everyone is like that, but I can't tell who is or isn't. For now, it's not worth the risk to reach out.

I used to help people, from listening and talking with them for hours about their job or relationship, loaning them money so they wouldn't lose their house, or doing something for them on their bday when no one else was doing anything. But I've realized I was mostly giving but not receiving, or I was being used ("I'm sorry I used you. It was just so easy.").

I used to have hope for love, but I feel like I'm not good enough for people anymore. It's easy to find people who want to join me for the good times, but for the bad times...baggage or feeling awkward isn't what people want. Whatever they want, they'll want more than me.

The only thing I'm okay with in terms of people was helping suicidal people realize they aren't a piece of crap for being suicidal. People "trying to help" would tell them that they're weak, wrong, crazy, or ungrateful, which didn't help the situation at all and was so inaccurate. Suicidal feelings can be a normal reaction to the crap people have gone through. But when reddit silenced SS, I went silent.

One reason why I don't try to get better: why would I try so hard to stay in a world I wouldn't want to be in.

 

[MiserableBastard1995]

Because its a severing of connections and giving up on the futility of trying to please others while living in pain ourselves. I see the vast majority of people for what they are now ,self centered assholes who don't care if I live or die. No empathy for others just pure greed . Nobody above you in a better place will stoop so low as to help those below them ,less you drag them down. So fuck them all .

Fucking oath.

 

[Morning Angel]

Bumping

 

[Wantingpeace]

I used to believe in good of people now I feel so bitter and angry all the time. I was severely damaged by a medication. No one can see what's happened and the medical profession won't admit it nor do brain scans to show. So can hardly do anythung with life and on too of it physical mental agony. But the worst part is I either can't get anyone to understand this at all or they get on at me for living like this. It is so infuriating, the last thing I wanted was to live like this. I see other people living their lives and these said people can only get on at me as I'm not able to live any sort of normal life.