Are you at your lowest?

[miguel6565]

Are your lowest point in life,your best or just normal?

 

[airboy_a380]

Lowest. Have no energy to get out of bed, small chores like even taking a shower are becoming too much to handle also. Rock bottom.

 

[inactive]

I think I was at my all-time lowest last month. I am faring and functioning somewhat better as of now.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

my lowest point was probably may through august of 2017. now, i'm just "normal", for the most part, at least.

 

[airboy_a380]

I think I was at my all-time lowest last month. I am faring and functioning somewhat better as of now.

u on any meds? Im not. have an appointment on Monday.

 

[Lupgevif]

I don't think I am at my lowest right now. But my wish to ctb has never been so strong.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I've been at my lowest at the start of the year, I'm low now but I know it can get worse. Even though its not at an all time low, I'm still planning to ctb because I can't see things ever getting better.

 

[SipSop]

I was at my lowest till few days ago. No eating, no workout, low self-esteem, unable to keep eye contact with others, barely able to talk because of low energy. But something switched. I've found a goal that is somewhat self-destructive but motivates me to take care of myself in order to be stronger for the task. I will find my end eventually, but at least I choose how to go. I feel normal now, but I have the feeling that I am behind others in life and this drives me mad, makes me envious and I get eaten by those feelings from inside out. I wish euthanasia was like buying a pack of cigarettes. To just to do it on impulse. And sleep.

 

[LittleJem]

I was at my lowest till few days ago. No eating, no workout, low self-esteem, unable to keep eye contact with others, barely able to talk because of low energy. But something switched. I've found a goal that is somewhat self-destructive but motivates me to take care of myself in order to be stronger for the task. I will find my end eventually, but at least I choose how to go. I feel normal now, but I have the feeling that I am behind others in life and this drives me mad, makes me envious and I get eaten by those feelings from inside out. I wish euthanasia was like buying a pack of cigarettes. To just to do it on impulse. And sleep.

To sleep, perchance to dream....

Agree.

 

[Garbage Person]

No, I'd say my days are fairly equal now as far as the good and bad ratio. My bad days are always the worst day of my life since I consistently add to the wasted time and regrets when I'm in that disgruntled state of mind. At least on the good days I'm able to appreciate what's in front of me and not take the things for granted that I once didn't have. Also able to finally look back and see occasional good times, it wasn't all bad. I suspect that the future holds the same cycles, with higher highs and lower lows as I acquire more to lose, including time. As long as I can mostly sleep my bad days away, I doubt I'll have the nerve to jump off the roof.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Not quite my lowest but I just can't take anymore so I'm at my most likely point so far that I'll ctb. Everything try every idea I get has issues and just points back to ctb. It's like the stone block analogy: life chips away little by little and I'm at the point now there is nothing left to chip at...just dust blown away in wind...ready and waiting to die.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Not quite. My meds have helped a lot with my anxiety.

 

[harkovv]

I think I am at my lowest. Going to ctb this month, doing literally nothing lately because of my anxiety.

 

[inactive]

u on any meds? Im not. have an appointment on Monday.

Nope, never.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I thought I wasn't but I am actually.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm not at my lowest like I was in 2018, but I'm pretty low. Could be worse though like that year.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I feel very low at the moment but I know there is always opportunity for it to get worse. It doesn't get any better though.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I feel like I'm about normal at the moment, but that word means something entirely different from what it meant to me 3 years ago. What I would have considered "low" back then is "normal" now. My lowest point ever was from December 2018 until February 2019, I'd say. At that point I felt like I was ready to CTB, but I'm glad I didn't because it would have been a mistake to do it then. I had what I thought I needed to go through with it, but I doubt it would have worked as well as I expected. Since then I've been able to think it through more and research things more carefully.

It's only a matter of time before that "lowest point" becomes the new normal, so I need to make sure I am ready when that happens.

 

[Thinking]

In the grand scheme of my life, I'm at my lowest. However, in the time that I've been this low, I'm feeling a lot better than I have been

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

It's really hard to say. On one hand my home life is more stable right now than it's ever been but on the other hand I've never felt this distant from other people in my entire life.

 

[AvaAdore]

I'm probably at the best point that I can possibly be at. Realizing something terrible can happen anytime gives me great anxiety though. By terrible I mean some major health issue for myself or someone I care about or if I lose my job.

 

[muffin222]

No. I'm doing moderately well nowadays. I'm in awe of the fact that I'm still here, to be honest

 

[Mustkeyknow]

I was at my lowest last year when I couldn't even think properly, wasn't sleeping and was literally pissing myself from the anxiety. I was at my lowest last year when I tried to kill myself cutting my veins so bad I could see bone. (Bones are white, not color bone
jsyk) I was at my lowest when I couldn't even think about tomorrow because all my days were shit absolute shit.

I'm not at my lowest but I'm nowhere near where I want to be. I still have active plans to kill myself. But I don't feel what I used to. I'm still mad as fuck with myself I literally want to murder me. I'm not sure if that'll pass. Everyone says I have to make changes in my brain and see things differently, but I'm not sure anymore.

I need to know if I love more the idea of death or myself. And right now death is winning.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Idk, I mean I'm doing pretty badly rn but I've probably had lower times. Just the fact that I'm in college and have a job makes this current low like 100 times better than the lows I've had back in school, in a "it can't be that bad" sorta way.

But I've never had this much trouble falling asleep in my whole life. I used to sleep 12+ hours a day and now I wake up after 8 hours or so. I'm always restless yet exhausted at the same time all the time. Thankfully I dont gotta get up at 6am for school anymore, so it's not totally frying my brain I think.

Also being depressed as an adult really bumps up the hopelessness factor. When you're young, there's always that hope that things will change with your next big milestone, or that you'll magically grow out of mental illness. But as I get older I'm running out of milestones, and nothing is going away or changing. I was right to think that I'd be anxious and sad for the rest of my life.

 

[waterbottleman]

Lowest for sure

 

[Viro_Major]

Above good, on the rise

 

[KleinerWolf]

Below average, looking to get back up.

 

[Despairing]

I sure am. And I am hopefully going to ctb soon.

 

[WinterFaust]

I'm not at my absolute lowest but I'm not much above that right now. The only difference is I've decided to put ctb on hold.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Above good, on the rise

Congrats, how did you do it?