Discussion Are you scared/ashamed

[fkyou]

Are you often scared/feel ashamed about what people will think about your suicide and their "judgment". Or is it just me who has no self respect.low self esteem

 

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe some will believe it cowardly and/ or selfish but, I have my own arguments against that. It doesn't exactly matter whether they agree with those arguments or, even if they never hear them. I'll be dead for a start so, their judgements won't affect me. (As far as I believe anyway.)

I personally believe that, for something to be brave, there has to be a cause that benefits others or, because it feels like something worthy enough for us to feel proud of.

Currently, I think it does actually benefit my Dad not to go through the grief of my suicide. So- it does make sense to me to try to hang on for his sake. After that though, most of my relationships are estranged. I'm really just a cog in the machine of capitalism/ consumerism which- I feel no shame about leaving because I think it's utterly corrupt! I'm sure I'll be replaced very quickly. We all get replaced when we retire or die a natural death anyway.

Suicide is a selfish act but then, I would hopefully have tried to hang on as long as I could to stop it hurting my very closest loved ones. I've had ideation for 34 years. I think that's a good effort to push on through life despite wanting out for so long.

Overall, I'm pleased if a person values their own life and worth to think it's worth fighting for but, that isn't really the case for me anymore. I will have done the time for others but I think it's unreasonable to expect someone to do that indefinitely.

So basically- they can think what they want. I believe their expectations are selfish and unreasonable if they want to call me cowardly and selfish. Plus, CTB takes enormous guts I think also. I'm afraid mine very much would be a great big 'f*ck you!' To life and I have no problem with people interpreting it that way.

 

[requiemforadream]

I am antisocial and I do not care what people think. But I feel scared all the time due to PTSD.

 

[Anon_Guy]

I already know that all the people around me have a pretty low esteem of me, so if it gets even lower after suicide ...

 

[fkyou]

I already know that all the people around me have a pretty low esteem of me, so if it gets even lower after suicide ...

I like that ...I'm trying to clear my mind cause these emotions hurt me

 

[FuneralCry]

Nothing would be able to concern or matter to me if I no longer exist as after all I'll be permanently unconscious and the futile, torturous burden of human existence will no longer be my problem which is all I hope and wish for, I wish to never suffer ever again, non-existence truly would be a relief for me, I just wish for the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep where all is finally gone and forgotten about.

 

[coolgal82]

my main worry is that i'll survive and people will be angry with me or disappointed tbh, if i knew i'd be successful i wouldnt really care tbh

 

[Shadows From Hell]

My family is ashamed of me now, my suicide change wouldn't change their perspective. So I'm not scared about what they or anyone else would think.

 

[depressedinsomniac]

scared of the experience of dying but gosh even of old age of sickness and of course of things like exposure to weather or starvation i am scared of that too. Scared of death yes yes. Scared of some sort of afterlife. Ashamed I have failed. In my case I had a great run but mental health has become this huge issue. Yes. Scared and ashamed. But also have grown to see this existence as a type of hell. Especially in the states. After running in the rat race for so many years it just feels so impossible. At any moment you can have the rug pulled out from under you. If you don't have family that's about it. There should be a process for this...

 

[areyousafe??]

I have always been afraid of judgement, that people will think that I am selfish, weak etc. But now I realise that not many people know me and will find out I'm no longer alive, and I should no longer care what people think of me. The only people who my suicide will affect is my family, and they don't think of me too positively anyway.

 

[bleeding_heart_show]

Only if I survive. If I die it will be irrelevant.