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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,883
In various posts and responses from the CTB prevention crowd, especially the pro-lifers, anti-choicers, there is a saying of "Don't CTB, you always have the option CTB later.", "Do xyz and if you still feel like CTB'ing in t time, then you can go ahead." or any similar sentiment (worded differently, albeit the meaning is the same). On the surface, yes, it looks like they are respecting pro-choice sentiments, but if one is skeptical and actually do a more thorough investigation, research, or even read into it, we know that pro-lifers, anti-choicers, and CTB preventionists don't TRULY respect bodily autonomy. It is merely just a deceptive play of words to postpone, delay, or defer one's action in hopes that they person will quietly forget it (or if they don't, they will feign ignorance or even just flat out ignore it).

In one of my older threads, I written in the past titled "Pro-lifers like to defer the option of suicide then eventually denying it" as well as "The argument against passing the buck" (though the latter thread to a lesser degree) talks about how pro-lifers use deception by giving the illusion of there being an option later on for the person, or pro-choicer, while in fact, the pro-lifer is merely just diverting attention away from the option and stalling (or buying) time in order to later deny It. It is true that pro-lifers just never really want to respect or honor one's wishes to choose but rather would deny the option of CTB at all costs and those statements that seek to defer the option is de facto the same as denying the option.

Denial through deferment example:
One example I could give (and it happens very commonly) is where suppose a person will denote as B and the pro-lifer as M. M is a pro-lifer who is against CTB at all costs (maybe except for terminal illnesses, but for the sake of this example we'll just focus on non-terminal illnesses). B is an adult (not a teenager) and has been struggling in life, maybe some minor debility but overall B's life sucks in many ways, again not to be too complicated, and B posts online somewhere, not limited to Reddit, or any specific forum, but on the Internet and M reads B's post. B states that he is sick of life and given his circumstances things are not likely to suddenly be sufficient for B's enjoyment or tolerance of life itself and B wants to end it. There are many comments and many of which by pro-lifers strongly dissuading B to CTB and end his suffering. M is one of them, but instead of just outright denying B's option or idea of CTB, then M proposes that B tries therapy, medication, seek help, and/or other platitudes (the usual response by pro-lifers and preventionists), but also told B that if he still felt the same way many months later, he still has that option and (M himself) would understand it, and will not try to talk B out of it. So fast forward about one year later, B's circumstances has still not improved (maybe slightly worse even), and clearly B is still set on CTB'ing. Then someone perhaps M even, who remember B still tells B the same thing as the first time even if M originally said something different. M will put up excuses, play dumb, or be in denial (acting as though he never told B that CTB is an option).

So in short, when M made the statement, it is just another ploy or deception to make a pro-choicer think under the illusion that they have a choice, when it is clear that there isn't a real choice, just the illusion of a potential choice. Some could argue that B could always CTB anytime, but the paternalistic moral busybodies and the State will always conspire to impinge, interfere, or otherwise frustrate one's attempt to permanently end one's suffering, no matter what is said on paper. Promises are broken all the time, and misinterpretations and lies are spewed with no regard for the truth, but I digress.

In conclusion, this article along with the example (as well as referring previous threads) serves to remind the SaSu community that pro-lifers and anti-choicers will never respect the right to die as a real choice by debunking the lies and false promises that pro-lifers, anti-choicers, and preventionists like to use to deceive or otherwise bring a false sense of choice to pro-choicers, when in fact, all along, they never gave a real choice and are always against CTB no matter what. I essentially took apart the statement and explained how it was only used as a diversionary tactic to pro-choicers while the real truth is that people who spew such statements were never really going to honor or respect a pro-choicers' wishes. They only wanted to appeal to the pro-choicer's sense of choice by giving a false impression of a choice while in reality they will never truly respect the right to die.
 
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Alexei_Kirillov

Alexei_Kirillov

Waiting for my next window of opportunity
Mar 9, 2024
1,057
Great analysis. The emptiness of this tactic is belied by the fact that in many cases, the person has been various degrees of suicidal for years. They already did defer; the pro-lifer essentially wants the suicidal person to sign up to an unfounded, risky gamble that if they just continue deferring, eventually they won't want to CTB anymore.

And of course, if your worldview states that CTB is always irrational, a temporary emotional state that arises from momentary negative circumstances, it makes sense that you would think that way. If they could accept that no, sometimes CTB is a long-held rational position, then it would no longer make much sense to push deferring onto people -- you would understand that all you're doing is prolonging their suffering.

This isn't even to mention the harm that this tactic could produce if it works, because most suicidal people are not in a "constantly ready at any given moment" state; rather, they have windows of opportunity. If you say this to someone and then they miss their window of opportunity, you may have just condemned them to an untold amount of further suffering -- years, decades even.
 
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Sutter

Sutter

Student
Oct 21, 2024
184
Just a comment in my slow way.

The pro life seems not just disingenuous but insane to me. In such a strange authoritarian moral view to dismiss anothers pain. At the same time insanity by doing the same thing expecting a different result. It is immutable that we will die, the only question is in what manner. Of all the freedoms one human has attempted to take from another the most egregious has to be their right to death.

Thanks for the thread Taw.
 
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Chaosire

Chaosire

Literally insane, legally speaking
Sep 23, 2024
127
It's indeed a problem that pro-lifers sometimes try to manipulate others into postponing it indefinitely, even if things don't get better.
But I don't think that it's necessarily bad to give a counter argument to someone who's suicidal containing the prompt that you can always do it later.

At my 21st birthday, I had planned to CBT.
Was saying my goodbyes to an online friend, and she hit me with the "At least try transitioning first, if it doesn't work out, you can always CBT later".
I'm honestly glad that I did. I had the best year of my whole life, not long after starting hrt. And I'm really glad having had my shot at happiness.

At my 25th bday, I had planned to CBT again.
After planning for months, my (ex-)gf eventually convinced me to postpone it with another "you can always CBT later"
Worst decision of my life.. Things have been even more hellish than they were in my late teens. So much guilt and regret. It's a gamble, and I should've quite while I was ahead.
 
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Sutter

Sutter

Student
Oct 21, 2024
184
It's indeed a problem that pro-lifers sometimes try to manipulate others into postponing it indefinitely, even if things don't get better.
But I don't think that it's necessarily bad to give a counter argument to someone who's suicidal containing the prompt that you can always do it later.

At my 21st birthday, I had planned to CBT.
Was saying my goodbyes to an online friend, and she hit me with the "At least try transitioning first, if it doesn't work out, you can always CBT later".
I'm honestly glad that I did. I had the best year of my whole life, not long after starting hrt. And I'm really glad having had my shot at happiness.

At my 25th bday, I had planned to CBT again.
After planning for months, my (ex-)gf eventually convinced me to postpone it with another "you can always CBT later"
Worst decision of my life.. Things have been even more hellish than they were in my late teens. So much guilt and regret. It's a gamble, and I should've quite while I was ahead.
Evening

As you have stated above I think a counter argument is fine, even more so from a close friend. Dismissing a persons original desire to cease pain not for their benefit but for ideology is what I take issue with. I believe people have low moments, brief moments that may pass for some but dont for others. Some may find help and people ask for help, not always in the ways we think but they do ask. When they arent asking, they have decided. No more badgering is needed, just support and understanding.

It is the direct thought of a manipulative stance to constantly push life and nothing else, not for the persons benefit but simply because someone else believes they have the right. That there is a little too much king of the hill for me and that was what I was trying to get at.

Sometimes it takes another pair of eyes to see, thanks Chaosire.
 
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theolivanderroach

theolivanderroach

but, what ends when the symbols shatter?
Sep 20, 2024
133
One of my friends said that to me. And they attempted once before too. I stupidly confessed to them that I was planning on ctb thinking they'd understand and I guess they no longer believed in "if it ever gets really bad you can always ctb whenever you want"... They started crying and said "how could you do this to me?". Oh. Ok yeah never telling anyone ever again. And that quote is bullshit.
 
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Chaosire

Chaosire

Literally insane, legally speaking
Sep 23, 2024
127
One of my friends said that to me. And they attempted once before too. I stupidly confessed to them that I was planning on ctb thinking they'd understand and I guess they no longer believed in "if it ever gets really bad you can always ctb whenever you want"... They started crying and said "how could you do this to me?". Oh. Ok yeah never telling anyone ever again. And that quote is bullshit.
I'm sorry that happened.. Nothing feels worse than getting your trust being betrayed like that.
 
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M

mrelief82

Broken to 1000 pcs
Nov 23, 2023
135
It is a bullshit , I am doing this for last 5 years and it's not getting better , there were better moments to cbt before , now it's even harder to think and organise it . I should have been gone sooner , wouldn't hurt so many people with my state and would be remembered better . " you need to know when to leave the scene " they say and I didn't leave it when I should have
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,323
Yep, it's all deception. They're saying that not because they are okay with you killing yourself at a later date but because they are trying to deter you from killing yourself for as long as possible until the magical recovery happens. Pro lifers assume that everybody's suicidality is temporary and that they will magically recovery if they were to live long enough
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,790
it's a big lie. because there is NO guarantee you will be able to suicide later. for example i might have a shotgun and SN now but i say i can always do it later. many things can happen later . just a few . I could get a stroke tomorow and then have brain damage and then not be able to kil myself. i could become paralyzed totally. they could put me in a mental hospital and take away my shotgun and SN . or my SN could get too old . but there are many other things that can happen and i could lose my opportunity to kill myself forever than i'll be in a nursing home or homeless or hospital and old then i won't be able to escape this hell .
 
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C

chester

Experienced
Aug 1, 2024
257
It's not so black and white.

Suppose we have person X. X is in a crisis and doesn't see a way out. Somebody tells X that they can always do it later. X decides to wait, the crisis passes, they're glad they didn't do it. Would you say it was wrong to give X this advice?

I can see there's a popular way of thinking here "I'm convinced it doesn't apply to me therefore it's bullshit in general". Even if you're right about your case, how can the person giving the advice be sure that you're not like X?
 
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PlannedforPeru

PlannedforPeru

SaSu. Lurker
Sep 21, 2024
151
Stalling to take down all of the vendors and seize that N. (half kidding)
 
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WearyWanderer

WearyWanderer

Student
Nov 3, 2019
140
Just adding my two cents.

While I understand this viewpoint, all I can comfortably say is that for things such as applying to Pegasos and getting approved for legal VSED (asking Dr for the needed pain meds, prep), the work to gather everything even does take a while and is only possible if that person not only has wealth but also makes sure to apply while they're still physically able and mentally competent to fly on a plane and verbally agree that yes, they want to end their life (before the dementia sets in, for example).

However, there *is* an argument to be made for telling someone you can always wait if, for example, they are in a manic state or attempting on impulse with extremely risky method or not properly set up.

I don't want *anyone* to have to live with severe TBI or unbearable spinal cord injury and intractable pain or to have to be both nonverbal and stuck in a bed for the rest of their life because that is even worse than wherever they're at now.

It's happened multiple times in the chat I frequent where in many cases we do try to ask if they can wait for a later time when they're more clear-headed because it's *definitely* going to go badly. Just thought this thread needed the counterargument in support of encouraging waiting too.

These are usually mental-health related cases.

The Pegasos and VSED ones are neurological (if you consider Alzheimer's and dementia a neurological condition) and physical.

I can't comment on diy methods and going through with them because my views here over the years have changed and even when I first joined, my main opinion was to support the expansion of safe assisted euthanasia such as the law that passed in Canada which yes, so far is only for physical conditions, unfortunately.

Partly due to restrictions in certain available methods between now and the time I've joined as well as people and countries meddling with what used to be well-known, safe(r) methods (a premade exit hood overseen by a volunteer years ago), I don't feel like any readily available method is safe enough for me to support for others anymore.

But, I was one of the time-sensitive cases, I missed my window and also accidentally did the one thing that would make my existence become impossible so personally, now I'm terrified. I am living, breathing proof of the Earth's dire need for legalizing euthanasia. It's humane, rational, and I believe it should be a human right like any other.
 
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Chuuya-Chan ⋆. 𐙚˚

Chuuya-Chan ⋆. 𐙚˚

Member
Oct 8, 2024
56
In various posts and responses from the CTB prevention crowd, especially the pro-lifers, anti-choicers, there is a saying of "Don't CTB, you always have the option CTB later.", "Do xyz and if you still feel like CTB'ing in t time, then you can go ahead." or any similar sentiment (worded differently, albeit the meaning is the same). On the surface, yes, it looks like they are respecting pro-choice sentiments, but if one is skeptical and actually do a more thorough investigation, research, or even read into it, we know that pro-lifers, anti-choicers, and CTB preventionists don't TRULY respect bodily autonomy. It is merely just a deceptive play of words to postpone, delay, or defer one's action in hopes that they person will quietly forget it (or if they don't, they will feign ignorance or even just flat out ignore it).

In one of my older threads, I written in the past titled "Pro-lifers like to defer the option of suicide then eventually denying it" as well as "The argument against passing the buck" (though the latter thread to a lesser degree) talks about how pro-lifers use deception by giving the illusion of there being an option later on for the person, or pro-choicer, while in fact, the pro-lifer is merely just diverting attention away from the option and stalling (or buying) time in order to later deny It. It is true that pro-lifers just never really want to respect or honor one's wishes to choose but rather would deny the option of CTB at all costs and those statements that seek to defer the option is de facto the same as denying the option.

Denial through deferment example:
One example I could give (and it happens very commonly) is where suppose a person will denote as B and the pro-lifer as M. M is a pro-lifer who is against CTB at all costs (maybe except for terminal illnesses, but for the sake of this example we'll just focus on non-terminal illnesses). B is an adult (not a teenager) and has been struggling in life, maybe some minor debility but overall B's life sucks in many ways, again not to be too complicated, and B posts online somewhere, not limited to Reddit, or any specific forum, but on the Internet and M reads B's post. B states that he is sick of life and given his circumstances things are not likely to suddenly be sufficient for B's enjoyment or tolerance of life itself and B wants to end it. There are many comments and many of which by pro-lifers strongly dissuading B to CTB and end his suffering. M is one of them, but instead of just outright denying B's option or idea of CTB, then M proposes that B tries therapy, medication, seek help, and/or other platitudes (the usual response by pro-lifers and preventionists), but also told B that if he still felt the same way many months later, he still has that option and (M himself) would understand it, and will not try to talk B out of it. So fast forward about one year later, B's circumstances has still not improved (maybe slightly worse even), and clearly B is still set on CTB'ing. Then someone perhaps M even, who remember B still tells B the same thing as the first time even if M originally said something different. M will put up excuses, play dumb, or be in denial (acting as though he never told B that CTB is an option).

So in short, when M made the statement, it is just another ploy or deception to make a pro-choicer think under the illusion that they have a choice, when it is clear that there isn't a real choice, just the illusion of a potential choice. Some could argue that B could always CTB anytime, but the paternalistic moral busybodies and the State will always conspire to impinge, interfere, or otherwise frustrate one's attempt to permanently end one's suffering, no matter what is said on paper. Promises are broken all the time, and misinterpretations and lies are spewed with no regard for the truth, but I digress.

In conclusion, this article along with the example (as well as referring previous threads) serves to remind the SaSu community that pro-lifers and anti-choicers will never respect the right to die as a real choice by debunking the lies and false promises that pro-lifers, anti-choicers, and preventionists like to use to deceive or otherwise bring a false sense of choice to pro-choicers, when in fact, all along, they never gave a real choice and are always against CTB no matter what. I essentially took apart the statement and explained how it was only used as a diversionary tactic to pro-choicers while the real truth is that people who spew such statements were never really going to honor or respect a pro-choicers' wishes. They only wanted to appeal to the pro-choicer's sense of choice by giving a false impression of a choice while in reality they will never truly respect the right to die.
Not really about the topic but still on suicide.

I just finished the animated berserk and Casca has got to be one of my favorite characters for being so strong, especially her leave no one behind attitude.

But there was a scene where she was going to throw herself over a ledge and after I finished the series it kind of is one of my worst fears.

Because her life only got worse, when she attempted it was just before they went to save Griffith and the next episode later they're all getting tortured mentally and physically she was even raped by someone she thought was her friend.

But she held on for hope, hope that things would get better…it keeps you going but sometimes I feel like it's dangerous to have.
 
P

pulleditnearlyoff

Experienced
Apr 26, 2024
207
Great analysis. The emptiness of this tactic is belied by the fact that in many cases, the person has been various degrees of suicidal for years. They already did defer; the pro-lifer essentially wants the suicidal person to sign up to an unfounded, risky gamble that if they just continue deferring, eventually they won't want to CTB anymore.

And of course, if your worldview states that CTB is always irrational, a temporary emotional state that arises from momentary negative circumstances, it makes sense that you would think that way. If they could accept that no, sometimes CTB is a long-held rational position, then it would no longer make much sense to push deferring onto people -- you would understand that all you're doing is prolonging their suffering.

This isn't even to mention the harm that this tactic could produce if it works, because most suicidal people are not in a "constantly ready at any given moment" state; rather, they have windows of opportunity. If you say this to someone and then they miss their window of opportunity, you may have just condemned them to an untold amount of further suffering -- years, decades even.
Exactly this! Wish I could send this to my stupid psychiatrist.
 
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attheend13

attheend13

Student
Oct 1, 2023
169
Just a comment in my slow way.

The pro life seems not just disingenuous but insane to me. In such a strange authoritarian moral view to dismiss anothers pain. At the same time insanity by doing the same thing expecting a different result. It is immutable that we will die, the only question is in what manner. Of all the freedoms one human has attempted to take from another the most egregious has to be their right to death.

Thanks for the thread Taw.
The prolifers can bite me. There's always some sally sunshine babbling about rainbows and unicorns. I've been around a long time and I haven't seen it yet. I mean congratulations to the chosen who feel loved and appreciated and are excited for the future. I feel invisible and used and I dread every breath. But Sally sunshine would say give it one more day. I may be a waste of space, a failure and a burden, but I do have the right to die. I'm worthless but I'm sentient.