Resource Assessment Tool: Abuse/Neglect or Good Enough Parenting

[GoodPersonEffed]

I got the following assessment tool from the book Gifts from a Challenging Childhood and thought I'd share. I found it more helpful than a lot of tools because it relates to the inner experience rather than focusing on certain types of abuse. I also found it helpful because I had one parent who was overtly abusive and one who was neglectful, and sometimes it's hard for me to know what to feel about neglect as opposed to outright abuse.

The book didn't say what to do if one had only one caregiver/parent, maybe double the score?




In the questionnaire...you can begin to assess how much neglect (what you didn't receive) or abuse (what you directly got) affected your childhood. Consider the following questions and circle the numbers that best represent what you experienced in your childhood to create a picture of factors that affected your development.

Rate the different aspects of your experience growing up in your family on the following scale: 1 = Strongly Disagree, 2 = Disagree, 3 = Not sure, 4 = Sometimes, 5 = Agree, 6 = Strongly Agree



Pervasive Neglect / Pervasive Abuse 22 – 65
Neglect / Abuse 66 – 109
Good Enough Parenting 110 – 132

Now add up your score and see what category you fit in: Pervasive Neglect / Pervasive Abuse; Neglect / Abuse; or Good Enough Parenting.

 

[botanormal]

This is an interesting assessment tool, I really appreciate some of the questions that are asked here. They're very helpful in trying to understand what factors contribute to traumatic childhoods, some of these I hadn't even considered before. Thank you for taking the time to share this with us!

 

[AutoTap]

Thanks for sharing this is a good resource

 

[Homecoming]

I really hope that in the very next few years from now... every married couple MUST have license to f*ckin' breed another human(s) into this planet full of pain and sufferings!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I really hope that in the very next few years from now... every married couple MUST have license to f*ckin' breed another human(s) into this planet full of pain and sufferings!

My parents passed a rigorous adoption screening process. Just sayin'.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I should note that my mom and dad had very different and conflicting parenting styles for the most part so that's how my mom individually scored a 57 while my dad scored 33.

With my total score of 90, I guess that definitely puts me under having gone through abuse which doesn't surprise me, though that's all my dad's fault.

 

[Weary Soul]

This was an eyeopener... I scored in the 22 to 30 range and I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. For some of those questions I would have scored it as 0 if that had been an option.

And, having been raised sans internet, I thought everyone was treated the way I was.

Even after I left my home and learned that my parents were abusive, I still had no idea it was that bad, I kinda moved towards, well most had it as bad as I did.

Explains a lot - thank you for posting this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really hope that in the very next few years from now... every married couple MUST have license to f*ckin' breed another human(s) into this planet full of pain and sufferings!

I cannot tell you how much I agree with this. I have told people that this should be required of everyone and they look at me like I am crazy for thinking this.

Some people drive a car everyday, multiple times a day. If people are required to get a licence to drive what has the potential to be a deadly weapon - why on earth is it not required to get a licence to learn how to best protect and raise a child????

I do not think I will ever understand society.

Sighs......