'Atheism' and freedom in CTB + discussion of fear about potentially unfavorable afterlife?

[IDontKnowEverything]

Small ramble.
So faith is an interesting thing to me.
As long as the practices do not involve harming others, I respesct the way that people genuinely believe in something so loyally and make it part of their lives.
Personally I believe that religion would have overloaded me ultimately.
That word doesn't describe it well enough, there's more to it but oh well.

On one side I do not believe in the existance of divinity and it's alternatives, however just like I can't prove to myself that they do exist, I also cannot prove that they do not.
Can't say I'm either religious or atheist then, but my lack of proof also terrifies me.
So where I'm at, Christianity is the main religion and I am referencing their book when I say this but I do not want to go to hell.
I don't want to fall into the inferno, nor do I want my soul to continue existing after death if all it shall do is suffer and I mean that in ways not necessarily related to any of the holy books.
If not fixated on a specific belief, your imagination can run wild. Imagine just being launched into something resembling space or like the milky way. Imagine the ways that would affect your being assuming you have a specific image of what your being would look like by then.

I personally see CTB as the ultimate freedom a person can be given. A possibility that isn't impossible but is difficult to fully take away.
I could CTB tomorrow just the same as I could CTB in five years if my health doesn't get me by then.
I ultimately realised that this is just a small alternation of "the fact death will come is what makes life much more beatiful", but although I actually do have my appreciation of life in itself, I really am being very specific with the word 'freedom' in ways I cannot fully formulate.
Yet I'm scared.
If suffering after death is real then what would have been the point of all of it?
A very big part of what I fear is that if the suffering after death truly is real, then what if it's impossible to end said suffering the same way we can end it on this plane of existance?
The very thought brings me so much panic.
The illusion of choice was and still is forever present assuming that someone wants to live.
The very reason we are here is because death is a very plausible choice as an alternative to life.
But if hell or whatever other plane that might as well bear the same name yet that we cannot escape unlike from this one really does exist... I can't speak, actually just shaking so bad.

This feels all fancy and new to me but some must have already had all of this mind.
How.
Also, is there any way to make peace with this while still alive?

Yeah I... I don't think there's anything I could do right now that amounts to this but, if I had any right to, I would have sent you all a prayer.
I'm sorry.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

As long as the practices do not involve harming others

Here is the thing , in theory , this is true but in pratice it isn't, you will have people who discriminate you if you do not conform to their religion.

I do not want to go to hell. I don't want to fall into the inferno. Yet I'm scared.

You shouldn't be, hell is not a real thing and I'll tell you why using a sentence from your own post.

Personally see CTB as the ultimate freedom a person can be given. A possibility that isn't impossible but is difficult to fully take away.

Hell exists in religion as the only deterrent to ultimate freedom, this is the way you fully take it away as an option, you invent the fucking bogeyman as punishment for it. Gay? hell , Trans? hell, realising that life might suck and choosing suicide? hell. The people who advocate for religion are people who can't accept real life so they take out their fictional world in the biggest game of roleplay + cosplay to ever exist and force it down your throat and use scary archaic words that gives them a +3 in charisma and there you have it, religion 101.

Edit: religion for the average people is like Elon Musk for gamers in 2017, you think you have so much in common and then you grow up and realise what the fuck you were looking up to

 

[IDontKnowEverything]

Here is the thing , in theory , this is true but in pratice it isn't, you will have people who discriminate you if you do not conform to their religion.

This is something that will aply no matter what, it can be belief, it can be a matter of differing moral compasses.. I agree and I know.
Ideology and the actual practice of it never fully align, communism being amongst the more popular examples that popped up for me. But it's simply usually like that with human beings.
This is why for religion I separate the belief from the doctrine.
Your set of rules were made for you to follow, not others. It's very tricky when belifs clash and frankly I long for a world where living in fear isn't necessary. Where actual children but also so many more groups of individuals aren't under a constand threat of agression. That wasn't pointed specifically at religion though.
The belief I respect, but throughout history the bloodshed that was caused by holy wars? Modern discrimination that sometimes escalates? Doesn't have to be always, sometimes is more than enough.
The only way to exuse to me the bad which was done, if I'm using my little logic and still small worldview, would in fact be via religious beliefs that include everyone getting their justice and just outcomes after the end.
Without that, a more merciless and unjust perspective of life and death is what's left.
Sorry for responding with another rant.

Gay? hell , Trans? hell, realising that life might suck and choosing suicide? hell.

I and many others hate that part with a passion more burning than the flames in said hell exactly because of what it's threat alone does outside of it.
Things like those being written may or may not have happened, it was a matter of pattern and of chance.
But the sheer amount of things and people lost to this type of mentalities that happened due to said chance is so sad.
The damage is so very real.
At least Christianity has a son of God that will genuinely accept anyone no matter what, and such a pity on the ways of how this was twisted around.

As for the rest, I do apologise I didn't respond to everything.
Actually a creative comparison about Elong Musk, ggs.
On one side I do appreceate your response.
I also see the current constructs of hell amongst various religions as something man-made, simply because of a lack of proof enough to me of actual divine intervention.
But due to lack of proof on the other side of the scale as well, sadly I simply also cannot prove that suffering after death is not real.
It doesn't have to be suffering that follows the interpretation of any religious book, it just has to be suffering.
It's something plenty interesting and even a little comforting to discuss, but full closure for it isn't something I'll ever get all up until I am actually dead.

You shouldn't be, hell is not a real thing and I'll tell you why using a sentence from your own post.

Also thanks for trying to make it a little better. I don't think that it's very possible to find something concrete that aligns directly against my arguement, also I am fully aware I just spammed you but also, this was fun. Sending you hugs.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Also thanks for trying to make it a little better. I don't think that it's very possible to find something concrete that aligns directly against my argument, also I am fully aware I just spammed you but also, this was fun.

No problem, don't worry about typing a lot , I read fast. And yes most depictions (all of them) of hell are indeed man made because they showcase fear as a human would understand it, for a 7 year old, their own hell might be 24/7 school everyday for the rest of eternity, for other people it might be fire and pain, which is why hell differs based on the beliefs and cultures.

 

[IDontKnowEverything]

No problem, don't worry about typing a lot , I read fast.

Haha, actually a good skill to have. My letters and words get mixed up often, I take ages plus think slow so I'm (jokingly) jealous, but I in fact am glad for that in this case for you.

man made because they showcase fear as a human would understand it

Also holy smokes, that actually made me stop for a hot second, makes loads of sense. It's a conclusion that adds everything up very well.

which is why hell differs

Personalised carrot and stick, also unfun for many people once put into practice.
I'll stop I'll stop, my bad.
But defs good talk. And thank you again for the responses. I meant it when I said it was fun.
Arrivederla.

 

[Lo$t95]

Here is the thing , in theory , this is true but in pratice it isn't, you will have people who discriminate you if you do not conform to their religion.

You shouldn't be, hell is not a real thing and I'll tell you why using a sentence from your own post.

Personally see CTB as the ultimate freedom a person can be given. A possibility that isn't impossible but is difficult to fully take away.

Hell exists in religion as the only deterrent to ultimate freedom, this is the way you fully take it away as an option, you invent the fucking bogeyman as punishment for it. Gay? hell , Trans? hell, realising that life might suck and choosing suicide? hell. The people who advocate for religion are people who can't accept real life so they take out their fictional world in the biggest game of roleplay + cosplay to ever exist and force it down your throat and use scary archaic words that gives them a +3 in charisma and there you have it, religion 101.

Edit: religion for the average people is like Elon Musk for gamers in 2017, you think you have so much in common and then you grow up and realise what the fuck you were looking up to

This is exactly my thoughts. It's so man-made like the control over you it demands - the threat of punishment for non-compliance and of course the primitive explanations for everything. "God did it" "part of Gods plan" etc

I was never religious but sometimes I envy people that can 'feel' a connection to a higher power. I know that sounds stupid but just sometimes.

 

[Zoro1029]

I u

This is exactly my thoughts. It's so man-made like the control over you it demands - the threat of punishment for non-compliance and of course the primitive explanations for everything. "God did it" "part of Gods plan" etc

I was never religious but sometimes I envy people that can 'feel' a connection to a higher power. I know that sounds stupid but just sometimes.

not stupid at all. I used to be religious and the idea of someone looking over you and everything will be ok is very comforting.

I wasnt super strict in that you had to follow everything or you go to hell. But if you were a genuinely decent person you go to heaven and that would apply to most people I believe.

 

[cosmic-realism]

This is exactly my thoughts. It's so man-made like the control over you it demands - the threat of punishment for non-compliance and of course the primitive explanations for everything. "God did it" "part of Gods plan" etc

I was never religious but sometimes I envy people that can 'feel' a connection to a higher power. I know that sounds stupid but just sometimes.

If life was a smooth ride,then it's all divine power.Unfortunately,not everyone gets to see that.These people are just too privileged.

 

[RadiantNumber]

If there is god and he would punish You for suicide (feeling that there is no more options) / being atheist even you did good in your life that's mean that truly afterlife is in hell because heaven is place of mindless followers

 

[CarrotEater]

Flip a coin. Heads you win $100, tails you lose $2. You can play as many times as you want. Do you play?

On average you profit $49. It's worth playing.

Religion doesn't make any sense to me. There have been so many of them, fhey contradict each other, at least one of them is wrong.

Maybe somehow for example Christianity is true. Even then, there are many subtypes of it. It either is true or not, there is no "chance" here. But maybe there is a 1/100,000,000 "chance" for it to be true.

in 99,999,999 out of 100,000,000 it tirned out to be false.
Buy maybe, just maybe it turns out to be true. That 1 in 100,000,000 "chance" that hell exists. No matter how good or bad your life was, it's beneficial for you to believe in god. You don't want eternal pain, do you?

So you better follow this list of rules. Be a good, submissive person and you will be rewarded. Not during your life, but when you are dead.

Meanwhile the most evil people in the world pretend to be religious (christian in particular), while not adhering to it's rules. But you, worthless civilian, must obey the rules. You don't want to go to hell, do you?

There is this silly promise of a reward when you die if you obey some list of rules. It really doesn't make sense to me.

This happens not only in religion.

 

[gothbird]

You don't need to apologise. This wasn't a ramble.

What you're describing—this fear of what comes next—it's something I think more of us carry than we like to admit. Especially when we start genuinely considering CTB. It's one thing to be done with this world. It's another to wonder what might be waiting behind the blackout curtain. Oblivion? Judgment? Looping pain? Or worse—continuation without choice.

The unknown is terrifying, especially if you were raised around even a whisper of religious frameworks. You don't have to believe in hell to fear it. That idea seeps in whether you want it or not. It mutates. Evolves. Becomes less about religion and more about metaphysical dread—what if this pain doesn't end, just shifts? What if dying doesn't mean freedom, just... another level we can't exit?

I don't have answers. And I think anyone who says they do—on either side—is lying to you or to themselves. But I can say this:

If suffering after death exists, it would be cruel beyond comprehension and if that kind of cruelty is built into the structure of the universe, then it was never your fault for trying to escape the pain you were given.
And if death is freedom—if it is stillness, or silence, or even just something else that isn't this then you are not weak for wanting that.
You're right to fear. But you're also right to see beauty in the fact that death exists. That it's an option. That it's real. That it means life is framed by something finite.
You're right to be scared and grateful at the same time.
You're right to not want to go on suffering and still not want to roll the dice on something worse.
You're right to ask if there's any way to make peace while still alive.
And I think the answer is: maybe. Not always. Not for everyone. But sometimes. And that's not comforting but it's honest.
You don't need to be religious to hope.
You don't need to believe to ache for peace.

Whatever happens—whether you stay, whether you go, whether you float in this grey space for years to come—you're not stupid, or broken, or dramatic for asking what comes next.