Discussion Back on the fence/Status Update

[TheLastGreySky]

So for the past year + I've been fighting to get custody of the state of my kids and it appears that they're going to sever my rights in November because of my criminal record/inability to pay my way out of the situation. I've had a few toxic relationships and one of them included an ex-fiancee walking in and out of my life (who I kicked out again)

Currently, I'm heavily considering CTB but
I'm trying to find reasons to stay. My life without my kids has been soul crushing, but there's always the hope that I would know them as adults. Right now I am dating someone new and she's crazy for me.
She tells me she wants to have my babies
But... I'm 13 years older than than her, and there's a lot of people who object in her family/friends group. I have talked to my mom, my dad and my sister and they don't care.
Her mom wants to meet me but her friend's objected because of my age.

Honestly, to me she's been walking the walk
And I've given her my loyalty and commitment because of that. I didn't know her age until after we had already became intimate.
She's 19, and I'm 32... But she's chasing me.
She's not acting childish, she's a para (teacher's aid) but I don't have any experience in dating someone that much younger than me so if there's any respectful advise let me know.

 

[justpathetic]

You have to understand there will be issues with that big of an age difference. They are NOT insurmountable but they will pop up. When I was 18 I was dating a guy who was 31. I know first hand it can work but you both definitely have to be on the same page as far as what exactly you're wanting from the relationship. No matter the age difference having kids with someone you don't really know is rarely a good idea.

 

[Gangrel]

Don't you think you already have too much on your plate? a relationship with a 19 yo girl while you're 30 and you have kids with a divorced wife WHILE you're posting on a suicide forum about wanting to die even though you have kids. Dating such a young girl in your situation seems like a very bad idea. Anyway, it's your life man.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

Don't you think you already have too much on your plate? a relationship with a 19 yo girl while you're 30 and you have kids with a divorced wife WHILE you're posting on a suicide forum about wanting to die even though you have kids. Dating such a young girl in your situation seems like a very bad idea. Anyway, it's your life man.

No I totally get what you're saying, I'm honestly trying to find a reason to stay alive but nothing makes sense in my life. Like, part of me wants to convince myself that a miracle will happen and I'll get my kids and well let's be honest...
That's completely naive.

I'm trying to move forward but the person I'm moving forward with is drastically younger,
So I'm trying to do right by her and I have given her full disclosure of everything going on.

You have to understand there will be issues with that big of an age difference. They are NOT insurmountable but they will pop up. When I was 18 I was dating a guy who was 31. I know first hand it can work but you both definitely have to be on the same page as far as what exactly you're wanting from the relationship. No matter the age difference having kids with someone you don't really know is rarely a good idea.

I appreciate you talking about your own personal history. Like I didn't seek out a 19-year-old she started talking to me and I didn't find out her exact age or mine until after we had done things. She thought I looked like I was 26 and I thought she was like 21 or 22, but anyway... We are on the same page but her energy is so enthusiastic and over eager that I really do want to protect her from the soul-sucking world.

I just don't know if it's realistic or not.

 

[5nicotine]

But you were seeking out someone who is 21 or 22 while you're 32 years old If you want to protect her from this soul-sucking world you should be protecting her from older men taking advantage of her naivete, i.e. yourself. You bragging and being happy about a 19(!!!)-year old wanting to have your babies obviously shows you're not wanting to protect her.

I've seen many women talk about situations like this at an older age and admitting to themselves that they were dating predators.

Sorry about the custody situation.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

But you were seeking out someone who is 21 or 22 while you're 32 years old If you want to protect her from this soul-sucking world you should be protecting her from older men taking advantage of her naivete, i.e. yourself. You bragging and being happy about a 19(!!!)-year old wanting to have your babies obviously shows you're not wanting to protect her.

I've seen many women talk about situations like this at an older age and admitting to themselves that they were dating predators.

Sorry about the custody situation.

Dear incel... Wanting to protect someone who is with you willingly isn't bragging. Touch grass, I'm protecting her... And the same women you mentioned NEVER seem to have an issue with older dating younger men.

"Sorry about the custody situation"
Yeah, that kinda matters A LOT more than the age of the ADULT WOMAN I'm dating.

Lmao.

 

[5nicotine]

Trying to insult me with random insults won't change anything you predatory loser

They do have a problem with it because they're feminists. Don't try to weasel out of my criticisms.

 

[Squishyface]

That's a disgusting age difference. What in the world would a grown ass 31 year old man have in common with a 19 year old child? Other than the obvious. Which again, is disgusting.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

That's a disgusting age difference. What in the world would a grown ass 31 year old man have in common with a 19 year old child? Other than the obvious. Which again, is disgusting.

That's your opinion ofcourse. But 19 is legal. If the girl is with him willingly there's nothing anyone can do about that.

 

[5nicotine]

That's your opinion ofcourse. But 19 is legal. If the girl is with him willingly there's nothing anyone can do about that.

We're also on a pseudonymous forum on the internet so of course we can't do anything. What we can do and what we have a complete right to do is tell him he's being a horrible person because he's in this relationship and try to convince him to be better. If we knew him in real life we'd also have the complete right to disassociate from him or be upset at him because of this. Something being legal doesn't have any impact on the morality of it and doesn't shield a person from criticism

I do also find this relevant to the recovery board since he might at some point in the future feel guilt over this situation or the way he might hurt this woman (psychologically). That wouldn't be good for his mental health

 

[Dot]

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Slf undrstnd tht u wnt thngs t/ sty alve fr & slf obvsly Ncourge tht bt thnk th/ stuatn cld v easly damge bth of u

U sy u also hve histry of toxc rlatnshps - d/ u thnk tht u cld stll b contnuing tht cycl​