Bad genetics. Childhood trauma. Dysfunctional parents

[deathproof17]

When the deck is stacked against you this bad is there even a point in trying anymore? These tv shows, movies and video games always tell you to never give up but it's easier said than done.

 

[FuneralCry]

It feels so cruel to me how people suffer in this existence all through no fault of their own, it sounds like you've suffered a lot. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[coffeebeany]

That's me to a t. I have tried. Very hard. For about 2 years now I ve entered a different stage. Acceptance. It can't be fixed. That's just how it is. It's only gotten worse and will get worse. It is very sad. But it is. I m so sorry that you, me and so many other people go through this and experience so much cruelty when we actually deserved love and safety. And the bad genetic luck only adds to the pain and misery.

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

I relate to literally everything here, "never give up" only applies to normal people who just happen to be depressed for whatever reason, what about those of us who are just natural born losers?

 

[coffeebeany]

I relate to literally everything here, "never give up" only applies to normal people who just happen to be depressed for whatever reason, what about those of us who are just natural born losers?

100% agree! There are people who know a life before depression took over. I for example don't know anything else. There is no "normal" or "healthy state" to go back to.
The first time I thought about suicide was at 6/7 years old in elementary school. There is no going back to normal.

 

[NegevChina]

100% agree! There are people who know a life before depression took over. I for example don't know anything else. There is no "normal" or "healthy state" to go back to.
The first time I thought about suicide was at 6/7 years old in elementary school. There is no going back to normal.

Sorry to hear that. I've and childhood CPTSD and been in denial for many years and lived quite a good life, but now due to health issues everything floats back.
By the way Ive noticed this is your 99th post. In 100 your title turns from Member to Student.

 

[coffeebeany]

Sorry to hear that. I've and childhood CPTSD and been in denial for many years and lived quite a good life, but now due to health issues everything floats back.
By the way Ive noticed this is your 99th post. In 100 your title turns from Member to Student.

I sympathize and can understand. It sounds like you ve also been trying to cope and live a good life. It is horrible that these deeply seated issues often catch up eventually. I have also succeeded in many ways, got a Master degree, career prospects, loving partner and friends. But depression and trauma have been consistent sometimes more sometimes less and it's getting harder and harder to cope. I hope very much that your health improves if that is even a possibility.
Also thank you for the information :-) excited to become a student.

 

[NegevChina]

I sympathize and can understand. It sounds like you ve also been trying to cope and live a good life. It is horrible that these deeply seated issues often catch up eventually. I have also succeeded in many ways, got a Master degree, career prospects, loving partner and friends. But depression and trauma have been consistent sometimes more sometimes less and it's getting harder and harder to cope. I hope very much that your health improves if that is even a possibility.
Also thank you for the information :-) excited to become a student.

Congrats student :-)
Ive also got a degree, im an engineer, received treatment for over 30 years, career, got married, have kids, had good times, vacations and trips around the world, Africa, Asia, America, Europe. now its all disappearing slowly as i sink back loose everything but my memories.

 

[coffeebeany]

Congrats student :-)
Ive also got a degree, im an engineer, received treatment for over 30 years, career, got married, have kids, had good times, vacations and trips around the world, Africa, Asia, America, Europe. now its all disappearing slowly as i sink back loose everything but my memories.

Despite everything, these things are beautiful. So many wonderful experiences and achievements. And it must be bittersweet and very sad. I have a lot of compassion for you. And over the years and through therapy I have finally learned to have compassion for myself, the little girl and the grown woman with all her potential and beauty. So it is sad. We deserved so much better and so much more. It is very sad. I am grateful that we get to share our feelings and experiences here even if we cannot erase the pain or fix things. It feels good to be understood.

 

[Dai]

Seems like all that stuff did was prolong my suffering.

"Never give up" now only applies in finding the perfect way to ctb

 

[NegevChina]

Despite everything, these things are beautiful. So many wonderful experiences and achievements. And it must be bittersweet and very sad. I have a lot of compassion for you. And over the years and through therapy I have finally learned to have compassion for myself, the little girl and the grown woman with all her potential and beauty. So it is sad. We deserved so much better and so much more. It is very sad. I am grateful that we get to share our feelings and experiences here even if we cannot erase the pain or fix things. It feels good to be understood.

You are a kind person. Thanks for your compassion! I wish the best for you! Really feels good to be understood.

 

[deathproof17]

I was delt a very bad hand Why even play a game this rigged and when there is no hope of winning? Not even a 1% chance. It never even began for me. I was setup to fail. Nobody respects, admires or wants to be me. At best they pity and feel sorry for me.

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

100% agree! There are people who know a life before depression took over. I for example don't know anything else. There is no "normal" or "healthy state" to go back to.
The first time I thought about suicide was at 6/7 years old in elementary school. There is no going back to normal.

You ain't lived THE childhood unless you saw the counselor frequently for suicidal thoughts at just 8 years old /s

 

[coffeebeany]

You ain't lived THE childhood unless you saw the counselor frequently for suicidal thoughts at just 8 years old /s

True I didn't. Part of the parental neglect and lack of interest - nobody cared or saw me. But I think a counselor wouldn't have made a difference when the root causes are the people at home lol.
You also don't sound like it really helped or maybe that's just my interpretation?

 

[MrsNobody]

When the deck is stacked against you this bad is there even a point in trying anymore? These tv shows, movies and video games always tell you to never give up but it's easier said than done.

Yep. Damned even before you come out of the womb. This is my exact situation + can't work due to multiple mental health issues.