Venting balance

[loslassen]

I haven't been here in a long time. I always get sad to come back but, i'm also grateful to even have a medium to communicate what i can't anywhere else, so thank you. for reading, for the space simply.

I haven't been doing… bad. but I haven't been doing well either, I think the reason I haven't been getting worse is because of my current outlook on life, distractions, managing to communicate my feelings more and more with the people that have hurt me before. things around me still feel a lot out of my control, and I still hold on very tightly to my ctb plan if things just… don't work out for me. been held on the telephonic line (figuratively) for way too long now so… i'm tempted i might have to hang up, eventually. these are only my most heavy thoughts though, or so I hope, because I've been thinking positively too, surrounded by people I love and that love me, had deeper conversations with them, opened up more. I just, still get sad and wonder what they'd think now that they believe i'm doing better. finding balance is, complicated. not sure if i have the guts to take another low blow ever again, even so deprived of dignity as i'm living currently, i hold on to tangible hope. but if that's torn i just, won't be able to handle it.

I hope it doesn't end that way.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

I hope for you too, to find the balance and keep on believing. Sending you love

 

[SVEN]

Good luck.

 

[Electra]

I hope you find balance and sending you hugs and the best of luck!