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timetosleep

Member
Feb 19, 2019
62
I can't come to term with the fact that I have to live in this abusive world. I didn't choose to be born. I didn't choose how shitty, oppressive and exploitative the world is. I am trying to be happy, but I can't. Instead, I feel like I am being forced to live a meaningless and painful existence. I am trying to recover, but I don't know how to come to term with the hell we live in.

Have you come to term with how shitty this world is? What makes you want to live at all?
 
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Superdeterminist

Superdeterminist

Enlightened
Apr 5, 2020
1,877
Have you come to term with how shitty this world is? What makes you want to live at all?
I can't come to terms with it, and I don't want to live, I am just scared of the pain of dying.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,570
Nothing would ever want to make me suffer in this futile and dreadful existence, I don't want to reach an much older age and die slowly and painfully from that, the thought of such terrifies me, I really wish I never existed more than anything. For me the true problem lies in existence itself, being permanently unaware is always preferable to meaningless suffering, I just wish for nothingness, in my case I don't believe it could ever be desirable existing in this horrific, hellish world where there is endless potential for cruelty and torment.
 
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timetosleep

Member
Feb 19, 2019
62
I used to ask myself why is the world like this. I still don't have the answer, but I am starting to wonder if it's because of human nature. We cause so much unnecessary suffering to one another. I don't want to live at all, but I am afraid of the pain of dying. I am trying to recover but I don't find enough good in the world to want to live.
 
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Heartaches

Heartaches

Don't say a prayer for me now
May 6, 2021
268
You perfectly described how disenfranchised I've become with life. It's one of my biggest reasons I want to ctb: I can't accept the idea that life is merely exploitation, oppression and misery, but I don't know what I can do to change it when even the people I look up to look so tired, so confused. It feels hopeless. There are good things in this world, but the bad is suffocating.​

I hope you can find something that makes life worth living for you. Even in my sadness, I still ponder if there is a light waiting to be discovered. I wish others can find it
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
10,284
Yeah, I feel the same. I don't want to be here either and I do feel resentment at having been brought here, although that doesn't feel all that fair either because I don't think it was done with bad intentions. I carry on simply because if I don't, I'll be adding some pain to someone else's life. Mainly my Dad- ironic really seeing as he innitiated all this for me. Life feels like this weird emotional blackmail.
 
yellowjester

yellowjester

Specialist
Jun 2, 2024
370
Have you come to term with how shitty this world is? What makes you want to live at all?
I try to carve out a little space for myself, where these laws don't apply, and surround myself with people who don't embody the abusive, exploitative aspect of nature.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,551
Sadly, no. I haven't come to terms with it and I never will. I will never be okay with having to wage slave for my entire life just to suffer and die through old age. I want to be dead so that I can be free from society's exploitation. They can't harm me if I'm dead and I'll be free
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,226
I don't feel the exact same way but I can still sort of relate to being forced to stay in an abusive circumstance. In my case, I am my own abuser. I'm my own worst enemy who constantly sabotages myself and causes him (me) the most misery and suffering. Despite this though, too many people have begged and asked me to somehow be delusional enough to love, forgive, and even respect this terrible person just because he happens to be me.

Why should I have to be forced to forgive and come to feel any positive emotion for the one man who's attacked me the most? Especially if he's going to be the one who benefits from it? Why should I let him have all the glory and take all the credit and be happy knowing he abused me the most throughout my life? I wish I could just kill him (me) instead. I might as well before he (I) kills me (him) anyway.
 

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