Venting Being touch deprived

[Deadlyroses]

I suck at socializing and mingling. My ADHD makes me socially awkward and my anxiety makes me fearful of being ostracized/rejected. So I spend the majority of my time alone. While I do feel safest when I'm alone, years of locking myself away and avoiding people has taken its toll on me. I've been like this since I was a child. School, college, and now as a working adult. Last time I had a hug from someone, I started tearing up. It's getting to the point where I'll cry at the slightest touch or display of compassion from another person. I feel so empty and alone. I just want some hugs and cuddles man.

 

[Celerity]

I feel pretty touch-starved too even though I tend to flinch when someone hugs me, so....

It's pretty awful when I fantasize about cuddling with this chick I really like. Pretty damn sad, lol

 

[lofticries]

I haven't hugged a person that wasn't my parents in like a year and 4 months. lmao and that was family members during 2019 Christmas. The last time I hugged my dad was 2020 Christmas. And mom about 2 months or so ago. However I don't feel too bad about it since I've never been the affectionate type. I often wonder when hugging someone if I'm even doing it the correct way.

I can relate to being a loner ever since a young age. My paranoia, social anxiety, and bpd is a bitch to deal with when it comes to socializing. I can fake it but only for a short time and only in a structured area like work and family events. The thought of having to put on an act 24/7 just to entertain someone is exhausting. Which is why I think it's best for me to be alone.

I do hope you find someone you can hug regularly though. Whether it be a friend or partner.

 

[kovkay]

Yeah. Hugs mean a lot to me and it's been a while since I had one. Or just any random touching like a pat on the shoulder. It's kinda weird because I never really hugged anybody during childhood, but now I value every hug I get.

 

[Sensei]

I love being touched but I hate that nature has programmed me to need it.

 

[LunarPyotr]

It has been a very very very long time since I was in a relationship and I really miss falling asleep while cuddling with someone.
I really miss those times :(

 

[Mentalmick]

Last time I had a hug from someone, I started tearing up. It's getting to the point where I'll cry at the slightest touch or display of compassion from another person. I feel so empty and alone.

I'm the same, I just don't know how to react to these things. I think a lot of people notice this and back off.

 

[Futile]

I have never hugged someone, not even parents

 

[demuic]

I always found hugs and things uncomfortable even from my parents. I don't like being touched.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I used to flinch when being touched, now there isn't even that reaction anymore. Don't think I need touch, tbh.

 

[WornOutLife]

I just want some hugs and cuddles man.

Me too, man.

However, the saddest part is that nobody will know on our doors unless we really try to look for and and find someone.

There's no need to go to parties or places like that if you don't like to meet people.
You can just try to find someone online. I used to be on OMEGLE a lot and use specific tags such as SUICIDE, ANIME, MANGA, DEPRESSION and I found people like me a few times.
What's more, I even dated a girl from there once.

Anyway, I hope we can get those hugs somehow some day because they certainly make things easier.

Best of luck!

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

SUICIDE, ANIME, MANGA, DEPRESSION

Holy shit this is so based.

 

[Good4Nothing]

It has been a very very very long time since I was in a relationship and I really miss falling asleep while cuddling with someone.
I really miss those times :(

Me too.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

This thread hits home for me, because I joined this site a year ago specifically for this reason: lack of human contact/socialization, caused by my state's pLandemic lockdowns. (Hence my name.) I had a feeling that the lockdowns and stay-home orders will continue for months, if not permanently, and decided to get serious about CTB'ing. By then, I spent over a month isolated at home, not seeing anyone in person except grocery store workers, and my colleagues when I had to venture into work for a few hours once a week. I wanted no part of that isolated life, and chose death instead.

What saved my life was joining a pro-Trump radical right-wing group. They had parties in hidden locations, known only to group members, and also did anti-quarantine protests and road trips. I joined them via social media, talked to them online, and won their trust. They invited me to a "super-spreader" party about 2 hours from me, and the rest was history. I got more hugs, handshakes, and dances in the several hours I was there, than I did in months before the pLandemic. I knew the dangers, but I didn't care. I preferred to die from the Biden Virus after having fun, than from my own hands to escape loneliness. A few of the people from the party live close to me; I still hang out with them.

 

[Mentalmick]

Biden Virus

 

[signifying nothing]

It's sad, but I do this thing where I hold my head in my hands and try to imagine that they belong to someone else... it sometimes works, makes me cry when it does.