Believing in myself for once

[Arrow]

My life has kind of been going to shit recently, and I have had massive dread about the future and where I will be in the coming years, and it doesn't look like I'll be anywhere good.
But very recently--today--I realized that my entire life (~20 years), I can't recall a time I actually truly believed in myself. Just the other day I looked over some writings I had made years ago about how 'i knew i would never change', but I never really knew that for sure. I couldn't have. I was just shitting on myself.
Today I was just sort of feeling really awful, like I have been for the past week now, and it dawned on me that I needed to give myself a chance. The slightest chance. And even if I give myself a chance and fuck everything up I still tried to stand up on my own two feet and do something.
I can't promise that I'll actually believe in myself and have hope from now on--I can't promise something like that. But even if it's just for the rest of this day or the rest of this hour, I can tell myself that I can actually do something, and that I'm not powerless, and that maybe I don't need to even bother killing myself after all.
And honestly, telling myself that makes me feel better. Under this unimaginable darkness I think there is a tiny light, one that I can barely make out, one that probably won't light everything up again, but I can still see it.

Not actually sure what the point of this thread was but I just wanted to share that I guess.

 

[GentleJerk]

At any rate, that sounds like a very good thing and you should be proud. Any improvement no matter how small is an accomplishment. I'm glad to hear it!

 

[Arrow]

Any improvement no matter how small is an accomplishment. I'm glad to hear it!

That's true, I will cling onto whatever I am able to accomplish because something is better than nothing, even the impossibly small.

Thank you.

 

[edu0z]

My life has kind of been going to shit recently, and I have had massive dread about the future and where I will be in the coming years, and it doesn't look like I'll be anywhere good.
But very recently--today--I realized that my entire life (~20 years), I can't recall a time I actually truly believed in myself. Just the other day I looked over some writings I had made years ago about how 'i knew i would never change', but I never really knew that for sure. I couldn't have. I was just shitting on myself.
Today I was just sort of feeling really awful, like I have been for the past week now, and it dawned on me that I needed to give myself a chance. The slightest chance. And even if I give myself a chance and fuck everything up I still tried to stand up on my own two feet and do something.
I can't promise that I'll actually believe in myself and have hope from now on--I can't promise something like that. But even if it's just for the rest of this day or the rest of this hour, I can tell myself that I can actually do something, and that I'm not powerless, and that maybe I don't need to even bother killing myself after all.
And honestly, telling myself that makes me feel better. Under this unimaginable darkness I think there is a tiny light, one that I can barely make out, one that probably won't light everything up again, but I can still see it.

Not actually sure what the point of this thread was but I just wanted to share that I guess.

Congratulations! Keep believing in yourself and working on the things that entail. It's the best way to get things that will make you proud. And hey, you're lucky, you discovered it when you were 20 years old... there are people who die at 80 and never find true self-confidence

 

[whywere]

CONGRATS! You are so caring; kind and you are so uplifting! Like @edu0z said so eloquently about believing in yourself!

Keep up the absolutely fantastic attitude and outlook.

You are so inspiring.

Walter

 

[Nolan96]

I wish the best for you. It's scary but sometimes reassuring to remind ourselves that we can't always be 100% certain of the future.