-nobodyknows-
I will face my fate.
- Jun 16, 2024
- 730
I am an odd person. I am sure that people can tell that something is a little off with me. I imagine they think I'm shy or something, which, while true, is only scratching the surface. I don't think people realize just how large of an iceberg hides beneath my still, quiet demeanor.
I kind of wish someone could tell. That they'd pull me aside and say "you're suicidal, aren't you?" It's actually happened once. Well, not exactly like that, but there was once someone who somehow managed to pick up that there was something very, very wrong. I miss them dearly, but I cannot reconnect with them. I am too much for them to deal with, and so they refuse to speak to me, as they should.
But anyway, it would be nice if someone could do that again. I wonder if someone ever will. Though to be honest, I'm not sure that's a good idea. After all, if they can't cope with such things and just avoid me anyway… it might be better for them not to know.
But the glass that is around those that do not know… it makes it so hard to connect. And breaking the glass tends to scare people off.
In the end though, I guess that glass will shatter, one way or another. Or they just never find out what happened. Maybe it's better that way.
Still… I wish that someone knew, and did not stay away. I would really like that. I would be so grateful.
But, when they realized how big the iceberg was, would they keep trying to melt it? Or would they simply turn away, out of fear of frostbite?
When the windows do shatter, I don't think it will be too big of a surprise. But I do worry about those that may be pierced by the shards of glass. I am sorry that I could not protect them from that. I truly am.
I hope that someday they can forgive me.
I kind of wish someone could tell. That they'd pull me aside and say "you're suicidal, aren't you?" It's actually happened once. Well, not exactly like that, but there was once someone who somehow managed to pick up that there was something very, very wrong. I miss them dearly, but I cannot reconnect with them. I am too much for them to deal with, and so they refuse to speak to me, as they should.
But anyway, it would be nice if someone could do that again. I wonder if someone ever will. Though to be honest, I'm not sure that's a good idea. After all, if they can't cope with such things and just avoid me anyway… it might be better for them not to know.
But the glass that is around those that do not know… it makes it so hard to connect. And breaking the glass tends to scare people off.
In the end though, I guess that glass will shatter, one way or another. Or they just never find out what happened. Maybe it's better that way.
Still… I wish that someone knew, and did not stay away. I would really like that. I would be so grateful.
But, when they realized how big the iceberg was, would they keep trying to melt it? Or would they simply turn away, out of fear of frostbite?
When the windows do shatter, I don't think it will be too big of a surprise. But I do worry about those that may be pierced by the shards of glass. I am sorry that I could not protect them from that. I truly am.
I hope that someday they can forgive me.
