Discussion Breaking up for religious reasons

[shalashaska]

Has anybody else broken up (or got broken up) with someone because of religious or spiritual reasons? I come from a Christian religion that encourages everyone in the denomination to marry/have relationships exclusively with people of our faith. Some time ago I decided to break up with someone (who I was in love with, btw; and I use "break up" lightly, because it was much more complicated than one conversation, but you get the idea) simply because I knew my family wouldn't accept their religion/spiritual beliefs. Just wanted to see if anyone else had a similar experience.

 

[borderline-feline]

I think the closest that I've come to something like that has been when dates have ended abruptly when religion got brought up and I mentioned that I'm a Satanist. I blame them for being the ones to bring up religion in the first place (on first dates, which isn't okay).

 

[noonipie]

I've cut off a lot of boys bc of religion so i get you

 

[d.va]

I've had relationships end over religion before. I was raised Christian, but pretty loosely. (i.e. never baptized, not regular church goers) I dated a guy who's family was very, very religious, and did not approve at all of us not being "equally yolked." Ironically, he was probably the most hedonistic man I ever met.
I don't think our religion should've mattered, not as if we were getting married and having kids, but if we were I could see why it would matter.

 

[Roseate]

I think the closest that I've come to something like that has been when dates have ended abruptly when religion got brought up and I mentioned that I'm a Satanist. I blame them for being the ones to bring up religion in the first place (on first dates, which isn't okay).

I actually think it's important to bring something like that up on the first date because for many people, it is a deal breaker and I think it's easier to get it over with before anyone get attache. No one is wasting their time on a second date because you guys are compatible.

 

[Homo erectus]

I actually think it's important to bring something like that up on the first date because for many people, it is a deal breaker and I think it's easier to get it over with before anyone get attache. No one is wasting their time on a second date because you guys are compatible.

In reality there are many similarly important factors - family, parents, property, social, financial, job, ... Each one can be "a waste of time". It's impossible and rude to mention all up front.

 

[Heavenbound]

Well, not exactly, but I am a Christian and the love of my life was a Muslim. We broke up for other reasons, but I was planning to convert even though I wasn't asked to. (I would have happily eaten s**t if they asked me to).
Yes, I get the whole equally yoked thing. It's so difficult, and I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[borderline-feline]

I actually think it's important to bring something like that up on the first date because for many people, it is a deal breaker and I think it's easier to get it over with before anyone get attache. No one is wasting their time on a second date because you guys are compatible.

I would argue that people should avoid talking about things like religion with anyone they're not emotionally close to. I was never the one to bring it up on dates, because I have very strong negative opinions about Abrahamic faiths, so it would just start a fight if I spoke with a stranger about it. You can't just bring up things like religion and politics with a complete stranger.

People are generally unwilling to listen or be respectful in discourse with anyone who isn't their loved one, so the talks of religion have to wait until a bond has been established. If someone made a genuine emotional connection and then considered it a dealbreaker that I'm a Satanist, then they're just really shallow, and while I would've loved to have avoided wasting my time, talking about it on the first date wouldn't've truly told me whether or not it was a waste of time.

If I wanted to talk about faith, then I'd go to a church, not on a date.

 

[Roseate]

I would argue that people should avoid talking about things like religion with anyone they're not emotionally close to. I was never the one to bring it up on dates, because I have very strong negative opinions about Abrahamic faiths, so it would just start a fight if I spoke with a stranger about it. You can't just bring up things like religion and politics with a complete stranger.

People are generally unwilling to listen or be respectful in discourse with anyone who isn't their loved one, so the talks of religion have to wait until a bond has been established. If someone made a genuine emotional connection and then considered it a dealbreaker that I'm a Satanist, then they're just really shallow, and while I would've loved to have avoided wasting my time, talking about it on the first date wouldn't've truly told me whether or not it was a waste of time.

If I wanted to talk about faith, then I'd go to a church, not on a date.

Maybe but imagine this, it's a dealbreaker for them but because you refused to share that with them, they're now emotionally invested. Now it's going to affect both of you negatively because not everyone is able to walk away. Either way, you've hurt someone. I just think it's important. I am atheist and I wouldn't want to date anyone outside of that because I don't want that idea forced on me.

 

[borderline-feline]

Maybe but imagine this, it's a dealbreaker for them but because you refused to share that with them, they're now emotionally invested. Now it's going to affect both of you negatively because not everyone is able to walk away. Either way, you've hurt someone. I just think it's important. I am atheist and I wouldn't want to date anyone outside of that because I don't want that idea forced on me.

If they have a problem with it, then I'd be the one to walk away if I have to. I thankfully don't have to deal with this shit since my boyfriend know that I'm a Satanist and doesn't care, but that's beside the point.

 

[Roseate]

If they have a problem with it, then I'd be the one to walk away if I have to. I thankfully don't have to deal with this shit since my boyfriend know that I'm a Satanist and doesn't care, but that's beside the point.

In that case you have nothing to worry about but I would let someone know I am atheist because some people have a problem with that and I'm not about to waste their time or my time.