Venting Broke it to my boyfriend that I plan to CTB

[MichiyoCornell]

I told my boyfriend that I don't want to continue with our plans because I know in the end I am going to CTB. And that I still need to. It didn't go well because we are engaged and it's very likely that will no longer happen. I don't know yet.

I just felt like I needed to be honest about it because I'm not cut out to be married or work, let alone continue living in excruciating physical and mental pain everyday. I tried to get this across to him that I can't live this way anymore, but he didn't seem to be able to empathize with my shit quality of life. He just started talking about the cancelled wedding. I understand why he's upset, but I never lied to him about the fact that I probably shouldn't be in a relationship and that I don't want to live. That hasn't changed since day one. Why can't he just accept that?

Is anyone else going through anything similar?

 

[Jengator]

Not exactly similar...I am dying and physically in alot of pain because of a medical condition and the fact that people can't seem to empathize or they actually blame me for the condition I'm in like I've done something wrong makes it worse.
It's hard when you feel like people can only see their own lives and seems like they view you in the context of their own utility, if that makes sense. I'm sorry you are in pain.

 

[MichiyoCornell]

Not exactly similar...I am dying and physically in alot of pain because of a medical condition and the fact that people can't seem to empathize or they actually blame me for the condition I'm in like I've done something wrong makes it worse.
It's hard when you feel like people can only see their own lives and seems like they view you in the context of their own utility, if that makes sense. I'm sorry you are in pain.

Actually, aside from the partner issue, you and I are in very similar situations. I have a debilitating chronic illness that has destroyed my life, and my family are in denial that I am genuinely disabled. It cost me everything. I prefer not to go through anymore. I'm sure you know what I mean. The blaming is the cherry on top.