cheaper alternatives to SN/DMC?

[moonshyne]

hello, i have been planning to CTB for a while, and SN interests me as a method in terms of efficiency and painlessness. however, I am a massive pussy and although i have enough money to afford the $100 pricetag on DMC, i am afraid that ill pussy out at the last second and end up taking a massive financial hit from it (ive pussied out of an attempt before).

also im new here (lurking for abt a week), i can talk more about my life/situation if that interests you :)

 

[voir2]

Hello,
what is your situation ?

 

[RULE8AM]

end up taking a massive financial hit from it

If $100-$130 wasted is a massive financial hit … you can't afford it then

 

[moonshyne]

If $100-$130 wasted is a massive financial hit … you can't afford it then

i mean if its the last purchase ill ever make it doesnt really matter... i just meant i have the $100 for it, but it would be really bad for me if i didnt go through with it financially

Hello,
what is your situation ?

ive had a slew of mental health problems since i was very young, violent mood swings, passed around through various therapists, medications that dont do anything, intense gender dysphoria, etc.

im 19 now and i havent spoken to anyone outside my family since high school and the hopelessness is starting to get to me. i dont really have much to live for and ive tried dozens of different things to try and "fix" my depression but im out of ideas. no skills, no interests, nobody has loved me, etc. etc. so theres not much for me in this world. theres always been something wrong with me and ive spent my life trying to figure out what it is.

ive always enjoyed talking to other people though so you can ask me anything or say something about yourself :) might start talking here more

 

[voir2]

i mean if its the last purchase ill ever make it doesnt really matter... i just meant i have the $100 for it, but it would be really bad for me if i didnt go through with it financially

ive had a slew of mental health problems since i was very young, violent mood swings, passed around through various therapists, medications that dont do anything, intense gender dysphoria, etc.

im 19 now and i havent spoken to anyone outside my family since high school and the hopelessness is starting to get to me. i dont really have much to live for and ive tried dozens of different things to try and "fix" my depression but im out of ideas. no skills, no interests, nobody has loved me, etc. etc. so theres not much for me in this world. theres always been something wrong with me and ive spent my life trying to figure out what it is.

ive always enjoyed talking to other people though so you can ask me anything or say something about yourself :) might start talking here more

You write like quite a nice person. Maybe are you a late bloomer. You are still very young. Your situation can improve in the future.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Check if there are any local suppliers around. I managed to find SN in my city and bought some from a butcher's shop for DIRT cheap (literally under $5), which is what it's actually supposed to cost. The problem is that the supplier didn't have details on its purity, and my tests were not encouraging, so for myself I consider it to be unusable for CTB purposes at the moment. You may be able to find something more reliable in your location though.

 

[moonshyne]

You write like quite a nice person. Maybe are you a late bloomer. You are still very young. Your situation can improve in the future.

i try to be kind to other people because i believe we live in a beautiful world with amazing people and they deserve kindness. unfortunately its not the same for me.
i think most of the time when people kill themselves they actually do have something to live for, but they just havent found it yet.

i know this is not the case for me because 1. even my earliest memories were me seeing a therapist, hurting myself, etc. and 2. ive tried basically everything i can think of and nothing has worked. how old are you? i feel like this site has a wider variety of age and background than any other site ive seen haha

Check if there are any local suppliers around. I managed to find SN in my city and bought some from a butcher's shop for DIRT cheap (literally under $5), which is what it's actually supposed to cost. The problem is that the supplier didn't have details on its purity, and my tests were not encouraging, so for myself I consider it to be unusable for CTB purposes at the moment. You may be able to find something more reliable in your location though.

thank you, there is a local butchers shop very close to me, it mightve closed down but i cant remember...
is it not suspicious to walk into a butchers shop for the first time and buy a random chemical that people use to off themselves? do you think i should make up some story about experimenting with meat curing...?

 

[voir2]

Check if there are any local suppliers around. I managed to find SN in my city and bought some from a butcher's shop for DIRT cheap (literally under $5), which is what it's actually supposed to cost. The problem is that the supplier didn't have details on its purity, and my tests were not encouraging, so for myself I consider it to be unusable for CTB purposes at the moment. You may be able to find something more reliable in your location though.

From your butcher it is likely nitrited salt which is mainly regular sea salt.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

thank you, there is a local butchers shop very close to me, it mightve closed down but i cant remember...
is it not suspicious to walk into a butchers shop for the first time and buy a random chemical that people use to off themselves? do you think i should make up some story about experimenting with meat curing...?

The vast majority of people have no idea that SN is being used for CTB, I don't think it's suspicious at all. In my case I literally walked in and asked if they had sodium nitrite, and they said yes. It's a business transaction -- simple as that.

From your butcher it is likely nitrited salt which is mainly regular sea salt.

I am fairly certain it was actual sodium nitrite, based on its appearance and my testing.