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ConfusedClouds

Arcanist
Mar 9, 2024
455
Don't know if anyone else feels like this.

Like sometimes I'm stuck as if trying to communicate in a foreign language, but am having a conversation in my only fluent/native language, English.

I currently have a summer job in the tourism industry and had a bit of a realisation while overhearing a french couple discussing/translating (in French) the information I had given them (in English). I could understand what they were discussing between them (I also had the benefit of context of what I had said to them). I could nod and agree and imagine in English what else I might add or discuss. But I do not have the vocab or confidence in French to actually continue or add to the conversation, just look weird like a nodding dog, understanding and agreeing but not saying anything else. Don't even have confidence in the ability to confirm I agree or not - or even explain 'I don't know the answer to that question in english let alone in french' - just stuck with sort of 'clear' thoughts in my mind, just no way to 'say' them out loud. But that's how I feel when having 'deeper' conversations in English. Kinda embarrassing/inappropriate when totally in my only fluent/native language.

This isn't all the time, but whenever there is any topic of conversation that's not familiar with me/autopilot answers - e.g freezing when asked something more 'personal' or increasingly in therapy sessions if I have a bit of an odd reaction/almost go into a trance also frozen.

Maybe its why I have historically done a lot of (solo) travelling - no pressure to have 'meaningful' conversations - can be successful keeping things 'simple' and 'practical' with basic foreign phrases and body language and not really getting to know anyone properly.
 

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