sadsadinfp
Member
- Aug 18, 2019
- 54
I think I'm using that word correctly
Since I was around 7 I've lived almost my entire life inside my own head. By this I mean I'm rarely in the moment, unless I'm in some kind of danger or something that really demands my full attention. Whether I'm just at home alone, or reading, or out with people, at work, school, whatever, I'm never really focused on what's actually happening around me, I'm living some kind of fantasy in my head.
I remember doing a bit of this when I was really tiny - I think all kids play imaginary games - but I think it really became a coping mechanism after I experienced certain traumas. When I was 6 a bigger kid down the street started sexually abusing me, my parents started fighting a lot more, and I started elementary school, which ended up being a terrible experience. I was already a very shy and sensitive kid, but after that I think I started retreating even further into myself, maybe as a way of protecting myself from having my feelings hurt and as a way of trying to make the abuse, the poor home environment and the bullying at school seem less real.
I don't exhibit any of the behaviours or match the description of BPD, but distancing myself from what's actually going on and going off to the much nicer fantasy world in my head when something stressful is happening, or when I just can't cope with the misery and disappointment of real life, is the only way I manage to make it through the day (and night).
Can anyone else relate to this?
Since I was around 7 I've lived almost my entire life inside my own head. By this I mean I'm rarely in the moment, unless I'm in some kind of danger or something that really demands my full attention. Whether I'm just at home alone, or reading, or out with people, at work, school, whatever, I'm never really focused on what's actually happening around me, I'm living some kind of fantasy in my head.
I remember doing a bit of this when I was really tiny - I think all kids play imaginary games - but I think it really became a coping mechanism after I experienced certain traumas. When I was 6 a bigger kid down the street started sexually abusing me, my parents started fighting a lot more, and I started elementary school, which ended up being a terrible experience. I was already a very shy and sensitive kid, but after that I think I started retreating even further into myself, maybe as a way of protecting myself from having my feelings hurt and as a way of trying to make the abuse, the poor home environment and the bullying at school seem less real.
I don't exhibit any of the behaviours or match the description of BPD, but distancing myself from what's actually going on and going off to the much nicer fantasy world in my head when something stressful is happening, or when I just can't cope with the misery and disappointment of real life, is the only way I manage to make it through the day (and night).
Can anyone else relate to this?
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