Discussion Creating insanity

[8yy8uiyhbij]

I've got depression, I'm diagnosed suicidal aspiration, I've been very well and stable for about 5 months. But I still find myself wondering how you can cause insanity within yourself. I really hate a regular day. How can I cause insanity, I fear myself and what I will do I am thinking of suicide all the time to the point I want to plan it out based off of location. (I live in a small town with no buildings past 18 ft)