• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

  • Security update: At around 2:28AM EST, the site was labeled as malicious by Google erroneously, causing users to get a "Dangerous site" warning in most browsers. It appears that this was done by mistake and has been reversed by Google. It may take a few hours for you to stop seeing those warnings.

    If you're still getting these warnings, please let a member of staff know.
movinout17

movinout17

Student
Feb 2, 2023
113
I had a moment with my mom last night. My parents know I'm suicidal, know about sn, and she sat down with me to talk to me about it.

She starts to tell me prolife encouragements. She is religious. She says that suicide is evil, because it is killing someone. I try to be honest, telling her that it's my life to do with what I please, and that I don't enjoy life being disabled with mental illnesses and being myself.

While this is going on, my Spotify is playing in the background from on a radio based on Alex g's song soaker, so the algorithm picks the tracks. Some of the songs had lyrics that creeped me out. They were the following.

Alex g - remember
"I've come here to kill my maker
'Cause I'd feel much safer alone"

"Please don't help me, oh"

Sign crushes motorist - better
"Cause I'm never going to feel any better"

Summer 2000 - Lucifer loves me
"Lucifer loves me
He told me in a dream"

Fog lane - Painfully
"We were meant to die
Painfully"

Upon this last song, I turned the music off.

As we talked, my mom wrapped her self around me and tells me to please stay.
She says that she would always continue to care for me, as if teaching a child to walk.
Tears start streaming down our eyes.

Thanks for reading
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: breezeboy, Forever Sleep, tiger b and 1 other person
SmollMushroom

SmollMushroom

send N pls
Sep 27, 2023
405
Aww... You have a great mom!
Also I wouldn't read too much into what happened with the songs.
Sometimes we are influenced by our mood/mindstate and perceive things in a non rational way.
Just like when one has a fear for spiders, and after seeing one, they suddenly feel itching all over their body.
 
  • Like
Reactions: movinout17
hxppythxught

hxppythxught

。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
Feb 14, 2023
93
yeah i have a father who is like that, he is religions and what not, from what i have experienced your mom is just scared of losing you so thats why she brought it up as it being sinful and evil, almost like she is trying to scare you out of it or make you reconsider.. she doesnt mean any harm she just doesnt know how to deal with the situation.
 
  • Like
Reactions: movinout17
movinout17

movinout17

Student
Feb 2, 2023
113
Aww... You have a great mom!
Also I wouldn't read too much into what happened with the songs.
Sometimes we are influenced by our mood/mindstate and perceive things in a non rational way.
Just like when one has a fear for spiders, and after seeing one, they suddenly feel itching all over their body.
Yeah, I agree that the songs don't have any larger meaning to them, even though it does creep me out.
I'm used to my mind doing that, since I've had psychosis before and was brought up religious
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: SmollMushroom