Method CTB by shotgun survivor

[maneose]

I wanted to make this effect thread about a person on tiktok that survived CTB by gun and summarize it (the feeling, physical aftermath, surgery, debt) I didn't go through all his videos just the major ones that I thought would be important.

If you want to look at his social media it's
@joshua.d or FaceMcShooty on TikTok and Shotmyselfff on Instagram.

Details
This was an impulsive attempt, done with a 12g shotgun buckshot.
The exit wound was back of ear curved around skull.

Story
Loudest bang you can imagine, ears ringing ripped his head to the left (he thought he broke his neck), instantly regretted it and pounded on the wall for his brother who came in and called 911 (apparently he believed the gunshot was just him banging shit in his room because he was mad, but it was the calling and knocking that made him check on him) He described the blood as a deep gurgling sensation and couldn't breathe so he put the injured side of his face down and only felt cold. At that point he's on his knees, with his head on the ground so the blood could drain. The carpet was completely soaked, he doesn't remember anything after this but second hand accounts say that he was responsive to the paramedics and talking with them.

How did it feel?
Like a giant flash of heat, like opening an oven, the heat goes through his entire body and then he just feels wet. Then felt instant cold (from major blood loss) and hit with intense tiredness, but his SI kicked in and called and knocked for help.

Angle
He missed the brain stem (obviously) but people without firearm training or knowledge might not realize that SI will cause you to flinch, which could make you miss even with the right angle.

Damage

• PTSD
• deaf in right ear
• face is a paralyzed on the right side
  won't regain strength in the face, shot went through and disconnected the nerves
• damaged tear duct and nose cavity so constant tears and nose running on right side
• he hasn't had a cat scan done but he can tell he has brain damage, terrible memory issues
• has vertigo when lifting his head and laying on the back of his head
• jaw couldn't open BUT surgery to repair and he can open it now (not as much as before) and can eat sandwiches and burgers (with difficulty)
• had a staph infection on the one year anniversary and the jaw surgery to open his jaw got infected, but both cleared up
• none of his teeth were hit, however the gas from the gun burned all of his gums down to his jaw bone

Can he own a gun?
Yes! He can own weapons but buying weapons is tricky lol

Debt
500 thousand dollars (uninsured), fortunately all the procedures that weren't done by specialists were paid for, excluding MRI's, X-rays, facial surgery.

My Thoughts
I would discourage this type of method for anyone in my opinion, although there is a high success rate, there is still a possibility of survival and ending up with lasting damage. This can occur with any method of course but this one is rather messy and if you don't want your family and friends scrapping off your skull and blood from the walls while you're in the hospital or casket (because if your don't hire professionals then your family will do the cleaning) then don't do this route. I know people on this site dislike people who are pro-life or whatever but this thread was made to discourage anyone from taking their life—at least in this way. Even if you try and use it to your advantage, beating your SI is extremely hard and I believe success with this method is based on luck rather than any previous skill, as even if you are a trained marksmen you're trained in shooting targets other than yourself. This thread was made mostly for myself to lean away from CTB as an option and also for any others contemplating it and to steer them away as well.

 

[.dreamless.]

It's definitely a good idea to combine gun/shotgun suicide with hanging for example.

 

[derpyderpins]

Horrific.

But c'mon, gunshot is one of the most common methods. If you're going to advise against it at least give your alternative. I feel like the only way you could miss so badly with a shotgun is if you are acting on impulse, such as here.

 

[totheendofinfinity]

Yeah, I've thought about using a shotgun but leaving a mess and a fucked up body behind...eugh.

It's definitely a good idea to combine gun/shotgun suicide with hanging for example.

How would that even be possible?

 

[F@#$]

I wanted to make this effect thread about a person on tiktok that survived CTB by gun and summarize it (the feeling, physical aftermath, surgery, debt) I didn't go through all his videos just the major ones that I thought would be important.

If you want to look at his social media it's
@joshua.d or FaceMcShooty on TikTok and Shotmyselfff on Instagram.

Details
This was an impulsive attempt, done with a 12g shotgun buckshot.
The exit wound was back of ear curved around skull.

Story
Loudest bang you can imagine, ears ringing ripped his head to the left (he thought he broke his neck), instantly regretted it and pounded on the wall for his brother who came in and called 911 (apparently he believed the gunshot was just him banging shit in his room because he was mad, but it was the calling and knocking that made him check on him) He described the blood as a deep gurgling sensation and couldn't breathe so he put the injured side of his face down and only felt cold. At that point he's on his knees, with his head on the ground so the blood could drain. The carpet was completely soaked, he doesn't remember anything after this but second hand accounts say that he was responsive to the paramedics and talking with them.

How did it feel?
Like a giant flash of heat, like opening an oven, the heat goes through his entire body and then he just feels wet. Then felt instant cold (from major blood loss) and hit with intense tiredness, but his SI kicked in and called and knocked for help.

Angle
He missed the brain stem (obviously) but people without firearm training or knowledge might not realize that SI will cause you to flinch, which could make you miss even with the right angle.

Damage

• PTSD
• deaf in right ear
• face is a paralyzed on the right side
  won't regain strength in the face, shot went through and disconnected the nerves
• damaged tear duct and nose cavity so constant tears and nose running on right side
• he hasn't had a cat scan done but he can tell he has brain damage, terrible memory issues
• has vertigo when lifting his head and laying on the back of his head
• jaw couldn't open BUT surgery to repair and he can open it now (not as much as before) and can eat sandwiches and burgers (with difficulty)
• had a staph infection on the one year anniversary and the jaw surgery to open his jaw got infected, but both cleared up
• none of his teeth were hit, however the gas from the gun burned all of his gums down to his jaw bone

Can he own a gun?
Yes! He can own weapons but buying weapons is tricky lol

Debt
500 thousand dollars (uninsured), fortunately all the procedures that weren't done by specialists were paid for, excluding MRI's, X-rays, facial surgery.

My Thoughts
I would discourage this type of method for anyone in my opinion, although there is a high success rate, there is still a possibility of survival and ending up with lasting damage. This can occur with any method of course but this one is rather messy and if you don't want your family and friends scrapping off your skull and blood from the walls while you're in the hospital or casket (because if your don't hire professionals then your family will do the cleaning) then don't do this route. I know people on this site dislike people who are pro-life or whatever but this thread was made to discourage anyone from taking their life—at least in this way. Even if you try and use it to your advantage, beating your SI is extremely hard and I believe success with this method is based on luck rather than any previous skill, as even if you are a trained marksmen you're trained in shooting targets other than yourself. This thread was made mostly for myself to lean away from CTB as an option and also for any others contemplating it and to steer them away as well.

Well that's discouraging.

 

[rozeske]

This was an impulsive and wrongly executed attempt. It's kinda obvious not to do it in such a manner. But it is one of the very effective methods had he planned it properly.

 

[DeadManLiving]

This was an impulsive and wrongly executed attempt. It's kinda obvious not to do it in such a manner. But it is one of the very effective methods had he planned it properly.

Agreed, impulsive and poorly planned. Failing to plan - is planning to fail.

 

[LostSoul1965]

This is the thing. So many people on here and so many threads about how gunshot is almost 100% effective and painless. So many posts about....yeah if I had a gun it's just put it to my head and pull the trigger. I'd do it easy and be gone. Even this method takes research and execution with the proper firearm and knowing how to shoot it. Shot placement matters.Not to mention if SI kicks in and it will keeping your hand steady and actually pulling the trigger is a whole different story.

 

[helllcreator]

It's definitely a good idea to combine gun/shotgun suicide with hanging for example.

I wonder if that would potentially restrict blood loss to the wound, potentially slowing death and giving more chance of being discovered.
That is I suppose if the hanging is done incorrectly as well

 

[LaughingGoat]

My Thoughts
I would discourage this type of method for anyone in my opinion, although there is a high success rate, there is still a possibility of survival and ending up with lasting damage. This can occur with any method of course but this one is rather messy and if you don't want your family and friends scrapping off your skull and blood from the walls while you're in the hospital or casket (because if your don't hire professionals then your family will do the cleaning) then don't do this route. I know people on this site dislike people who are pro-life or whatever but this thread was made to discourage anyone from taking their life—at least in this way. Even if you try and use it to your advantage, beating your SI is extremely hard and I believe success with this method is based on luck rather than any previous skill, as even if you are a trained marksmen you're trained in shooting targets other than yourself. This thread was made mostly for myself to lean away from CTB as an option and also for any others contemplating it and to steer them away as well.

The guy shot himself in the face rather than the brain through the mouth. This isn't an example of survivability when the method is done correctly. While the same can be said for any method, this isn't science like getting pharmaceutical methods done correctly; it's put gun in mouth, aim at brain, pull trigger. Regarding flinching, anyone can test how little is matters if you the barrel of a shotgun into your mouth and flinch. If it's in your mouth, the shell is going to destroy the brain regardless. Not that it was mentioned, but recoil also won't be an issue since you're dead milliseconds after the trigger is pulled.

 

[SeekingPeace164]

This is how he aimed (not even towards the brain). So it's not about flinching. Super sad situation but not a "proper" way to do it. Definitely the last method you want to do impulsively, I'll agree on that.

 

[suffering_mo]

This is how he aimed (not even towards the brain). So it's not about flinching. Super sad situation but not a "proper" way to do it. Definitely the last method you want to do impulsively, I'll agree on that.

View attachment 141924

That looks to me like he aimed it properly.... straight back, towards the ear. Am I missing something?

 

[LaughingGoat]

That looks to me like he aimed it properly.... straight back, towards the ear. Am I missing something?

It should be inside his mouth and aimed diagonally up towards the brain. The way he did it was basically on his lips and aimed straight back towards the jaw. That's why he mainly blew apart his jaw and face, done correctly it's mainly the back top of the head that gets destroyed.

 

[todienomore]

@suffering_mo_7 missed the brainstem, critical mistake.

Its bad for mental health to really watch gore, but there are too many firearm failures.

https://watchpeopledie.tv/search/posts?q=Shotgun

Same principle

Mike the Headless Chicken - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

I cant remember the stat for firearm attempt success rate but its around 90% way lower than you would expect or want.

Shooting half your brain off will kill you a lot slower than you would expect, and maybe not at all.

 

[suffering_mo]

@todienomore

@LaughingGoat

Given that it was right to his mouth and he used buckshot, shouldn't it have worked though?

I'm honestly impressed that he looks so decent after. He's not mangled like others out there.

I'm not watching gore. It's really concerning as this was one of my options but this kind of thing scares me off....I am not like most here. My situation is extremely dire and painful. I'm physically suffering all day and have hyperacusis and can't eat or sleep. I need a way out...

 

[SeekingPeace164]

@suffering_mo_7 missed the brainstem, critical mistake.

Its bad for mental health to really watch gore, but there are too many firearm failures.

https://watchpeopledie.tv/search/posts?q=Shotgun

Same principle

Mike the Headless Chicken - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

I cant remember the stat for firearm attempt success rate but its around 90% way lower than you would expect or want.

Shooting half your brain off will kill you a lot slower than you would expect, and maybe not at all.

This is important to keep in mind with any method. However, consider that 90% statistic includes the following: temple shots, .22 caliber, under the chin shots, impulsive alcoholic shakiness, lack of understanding of human anatomy, and flinching. Many people think that any gun pointed anywhere in the head leads to instant death. So considering all that, 90% is incredible. It is a good method (probably one of the best), but there is a misconception that research and planning isn't needed.

As for speed of death, that again is highly dependent on caliber, location, etc.

 

[SeekingPeace164]

@todienomore

@LaughingGoat

Given that it was right to his mouth and he used buckshot, shouldn't it have worked though?

I'm honestly impressed that he looks so decent after. He's not mangled like others out there.

I'm not watching gore. It's really concerning as this was one of my options but this kind of thing scares me off....I am not like most here. My situation is extremely dire and painful. I'm physically suffering all day and have hyperacusis and can't eat or sleep. I need a way out...

I apologise, as I am not @LaughingGoat or @todienomore, but I thought I'd chime in anyways. Firstly, I'm sorry you're in so much pain. And it's great that you're asking a ton of questions, it's very important to be knowledgeable and confident about methods, please ask as many as you'd like. My reply will come from extensive research that I've been doing since January.

As for him looking decent, he had extensive surgery done, hundreds of thousands of dollars. But from the front you can still see the damage:

"Right to his mouth" but perpendicular still misses the brain. You want to generally aim for the brainstem:
The way to do this would either be through the side of the head right next to the ear or though the mouth at an angle. With a shotgun it's much easier through the mouth because it's hard to hold a long gun. What I've been doing is practicing the angle by using a measuring tape that is the exact length of the gun I want and talking pictures. Through the mouth, it should be pointed slightly upwards towards the roof of the mouth

 

[LaughingGoat]

@todienomore

@LaughingGoat

Given that it was right to his mouth and he used buckshot, shouldn't it have worked though?

I'm honestly impressed that he looks so decent after. He's not mangled like others out there.

I'm not watching gore. It's really concerning as this was one of my options but this kind of thing scares me off....I am not like most here. My situation is extremely dire and painful. I'm physically suffering all day and have hyperacusis and can't eat or sleep. I need a way out...

@SeekingPeace164 is completely correct in her answer. Regarding buckshot, it does spread but when it's that close to your face pointed straight, it's very possible to not hit the brain stem or any other immediately fatal part of the brain. There's a mortician somewhere on this site who would know better, wish I could remember their name, but a properly done SIGW should actually leave the face without major damage as the pellets are going to spread through the back of the skull not the face.

 

[suffering_mo]

This is important to keep in mind with any method. However, consider that 90% statistic includes the following: temple shots, .22 caliber, under the chin shots, impulsive alcoholic shakiness, lack of understanding of human anatomy, and flinching. Many people think that any gun pointed anywhere in the head leads to instant death. So considering all that, 90% is incredible. It is a good method (probably one of the best), but there is a misconception that research and planning isn't needed.

As for speed of death, that again is highly dependent on caliber, location, etc.

@SeekingPeace164 the flinching is a big concern because on this site, experienced gun handlers have mentioned that. But maybe if it's in the mouth, between the teeth, it would be different. IDK.

 

[makingaplan]

@todienomore

@LaughingGoat

Given that it was right to his mouth and he used buckshot, shouldn't it have worked though?

I'm honestly impressed that he looks so decent after. He's not mangled like others out there.

I'm not watching gore. It's really concerning as this was one of my options but this kind of thing scares me off....I am not like most here. My situation is extremely dire and painful. I'm physically suffering all day and have hyperacusis and can't eat or sleep. I need a way out...

Homeopathy would likely help that. It can help with many kinds of hyper sensitivities. Here's a quick AI search I did on what remedies might help.

Homeopathy is an alternative medical practice that treats symptoms with highly diluted substances that, in larger amounts, would produce symptoms similar to the ones being treated. It's important to note that homeopathic remedies are not scientifically proven to be effective and should not replace conventional medical treatments. However, if someone with hyperacusis seeks treatment from a homeopath, the practitioner might prescribe one of the following remedies based on the individual's specific symptoms and overall health:

1. Belladonna: Often used for acute conditions where there is sudden onset of symptoms, including sensitivity to sound, along with symptoms like throbbing headaches or a flushed face.
2. Lycopodium: May be recommended for individuals who experience sensitivity to noise, particularly if they also have digestive issues, bloating, or a preference for warm drinks.
3. Phosphorus: Used for individuals who are sensitive to light, sound, and other sensory inputs, often accompanied by a craving for cold drinks and a tendency to bleed easily.
4. Natrum Salicylicum: Sometimes prescribed for hyperacusis related to conditions like tinnitus or if there is an accompanying sensation of fullness in the ears.
5. China (Cinchona): May be used for individuals who experience sensitivity to sound along with general weakness or a history of significant fluid loss.
6. Chamomilla: Often recommended for children or adults who are irritable, hypersensitive to noise, and have difficulty calming down.

Important Considerations

• Individualization: Homeopathic treatment is highly individualized. The homeopath will consider the person's overall physical, emotional, and psychological state when selecting a remedy.
• Consultation: It's crucial to consult with a qualified homeopathic practitioner for a proper evaluation and personalized remedy selection.
• Complementary Care: While homeopathy may offer relief for some, it should be used as a complementary approach rather than a substitute for conventional medical advice and treatment, especially for conditions like hyperacusis which can have underlying medical causes.

One place you can look for, and choose a homeopath is the website homeopathy247.com
My idea is to combine a shotgun with SN. Seems like SN would finish up anything the shotgun left behind?

 

[LaughingGoat]

@SeekingPeace164 the flinching is a big concern because on this site, experienced gun handlers have mentioned that. But maybe if it's in the mouth, between the teeth, it would be different. IDK.

Flinching while shooting usually is due to anticipating the noise and recoil. Practice dry firing as well as live if possible and should be slow squeezing the trigger, that's prevents flinching when shooting. Recoil after the trigger has been pulled won't matter since you'll already be dead. The muzzle should be deep inside your mouth so even with a slight flinch you won't be able to disrupt the angle much.

 

[suffering_mo]

How can you get a slight angle if it's deep in your mouth and you are biting down on the barrel? I tried putting something else in my mouth like that and you can't really get an angle if you are biting down. Is it better to have the gun upside down? I know no one here has actually ctb with a gun...or at least not that I know of.

I can dry fire it but am unable to live fire for many reasons..... this is one of my concerns with using this method and yet, it may be my only method available.

 

[SeekingPeace164]

How can you get a slight angle if it's deep in your mouth and you are biting down on the barrel? I tried putting something else in my mouth like that and you can't really get an angle if you are biting down. Is it better to have the gun upside down? I know no one here has actually ctb with a gun...or at least not that I know of.

I can dry fire it but am unable to live fire for many reasons..... this is one of my concerns with using this method and yet, it may be my only method available.

I don't think you need to bite down on the barrel. As for the gun being upside down or not, I'm not sure, maybe I'll let @LaughingGoat respond to that.

What type of gun are you leaning towards, shotgun or handgun?

 

[LaughingGoat]

How can you get a slight angle if it's deep in your mouth and you are biting down on the barrel? I tried putting something else in my mouth like that and you can't really get an angle if you are biting down. Is it better to have the gun upside down? I know no one here has actually ctb with a gun...or at least not that I know of.

I can dry fire it but am unable to live fire for many reasons..... this is one of my concerns with using this method and yet, it may be my only method available.

You don't need to bite down. I don't know what you're shooting. I'm using a shotgun and will have it right side up since I find it more ergonomic in that position but ymmv so I would say try for yourself with the specific firearm you're using and see what you feel is best. I'm sure plenty of people on this site have ctbed by gun, but they're dead so guess they're no help.

Yeah it's ok if you can only practice dry-firing as long as you set everything up correctly. With the angle right, proper firearm, and slow squeezing rather than jerking the trigger, you should be good unless do something like shoot with the gun at your temple and do a huge flinch. I can't tell you there's no chance of SI causing you to stop like any method or flinch, just that you can do everything possible to prepare and practice so you're as confident as can be. Imo there is no more sure method if you prepare correctly, legitimately I trust shooting myself more than having someone else shoot me or even euthanasia injections done by professionals (which has a common enough failure rate that multiple studies and articles have addressed the need to improve efficacy).

 

[suffering_mo]

@LaughingGoat Do you know a lot about guns? If it's a gun for me, it would likely have to be a handgun. Revolver, I guess because it's simpler and can fit in the mouth. TBH, it's not a method I really want to use but I am extremely limited because of my various circumstances....and TBH, being a woman and not handling a gun, it scares the shit out of me. I have been advised to bite down to avoid flinching but I don't see how that is logistically possible to aim upwards and bite down.

I can tell you of all the people I found giving out info or asking for info about guns on here, none have ended it using a gun. Of course, 99.9% of people on here don't end up CTB.

N is the only option I am really comfortable with, or Switzerland but I am trying to get those out of my head because they aren't gonna happen for me. As a white, middle aged American, who only speaks English, obtaining it in Peru or Mexico would be next to impossible, even if I could get there.

 

[SeekingPeace164]

Homeopathy would likely help that. It can help with many kinds of hyper sensitivities. Here's a quick AI search I did on what remedies might help.

Homeopathy is an alternative medical practice that treats symptoms with highly diluted substances that, in larger amounts, would produce symptoms similar to the ones being treated. It's important to note that homeopathic remedies are not scientifically proven to be effective and should not replace conventional medical treatments. However, if someone with hyperacusis seeks treatment from a homeopath, the practitioner might prescribe one of the following remedies based on the individual's specific symptoms and overall health:

1. Belladonna: Often used for acute conditions where there is sudden onset of symptoms, including sensitivity to sound, along with symptoms like throbbing headaches or a flushed face.
2. Lycopodium: May be recommended for individuals who experience sensitivity to noise, particularly if they also have digestive issues, bloating, or a preference for warm drinks.
3. Phosphorus: Used for individuals who are sensitive to light, sound, and other sensory inputs, often accompanied by a craving for cold drinks and a tendency to bleed easily.
4. Natrum Salicylicum: Sometimes prescribed for hyperacusis related to conditions like tinnitus or if there is an accompanying sensation of fullness in the ears.
5. China (Cinchona): May be used for individuals who experience sensitivity to sound along with general weakness or a history of significant fluid loss.
6. Chamomilla: Often recommended for children or adults who are irritable, hypersensitive to noise, and have difficulty calming down.

Important Considerations

• Individualization: Homeopathic treatment is highly individualized. The homeopath will consider the person's overall physical, emotional, and psychological state when selecting a remedy.
• Consultation: It's crucial to consult with a qualified homeopathic practitioner for a proper evaluation and personalized remedy selection.
• Complementary Care: While homeopathy may offer relief for some, it should be used as a complementary approach rather than a substitute for conventional medical advice and treatment, especially for conditions like hyperacusis which can have underlying medical causes.

One place you can look for, and choose a homeopath is the website homeopathy247.com
My idea is to combine a shotgun with SN. Seems like SN would finish up anything the shotgun left behind?

I was thinking of combining SN and shotgun as well, my main concern is after drinking it, you may immediately become dizzy and nauseated, making it easier to mess up the gun part. But I could be wrong

 

[LaughingGoat]

@LaughingGoat Do you know a lot about guns? If it's a gun for me, it would likely have to be a handgun. Revolver, I guess because it's simpler and can fit in the mouth. TBH, it's not a method I really want to use but I am extremely limited because of my various circumstances....and TBH, being a woman and not handling a gun, it scares the shit out of me. I have been advised to bite down to avoid flinching but I don't see how that is logistically possible to aim upwards and bite down.

I can tell you of all the people I found giving out info or asking for info about guns on here, none have ended it using a gun. Of course, 99.9% of people on here don't end up CTB.

N is the only option I am really comfortable with, or Switzerland but I am trying to get those out of my head because they aren't gonna happen for me. As a white, middle aged American, who only speaks English, obtaining it in Peru or Mexico would be next to impossible, even if I could get there.

Yeah I get you, guns can be very intimidating if you haven't been around them. I do tell people though that they are surprisingly simple to learn to use even if you have no experience. They make them very user-friendly, really all you have to learn in terms of handling a firearm for these purposes is how to load the gun and chamber with compatible ammo, switch the safety off, and squeeze the trigger. Most common firearms will have tutorial videos online either by the manufacturer or youtubers that show how to use that specific gun.

But really I can ensure you they are very simple to learn, despite how complex they may seem. Ironically enough with how much advice I give about them, I'm actually a huge proponent of gun control in our country. Honestly wish they were more complex so some angry teenager who's not a gun expert couldn't just shoot up his school.

Regarding N, have you considered learning just how to say the sentences in Spanish you would need for the pharmacy? I don't know Spanish, but I'm sure some users on here would be willing to tell you the proper grammar that's maybe better than an online translator. Getting around by taxis, using a translator through your phone should suffice. Obviously going to another country trying to obtain it is daunting, just throwing that idea out there.

 

[suffering_mo]

@LaughingGoat So you have actual hands on experience with guns? Or you just know about them from research?

I could only consider Peru if it were 100% and there was assurance that I could get there safely and find my way around. It's really a stupid idea.... you have to be in completely sound mind with decent health, and be a man or Hispanic woman. I'm grasping at straws as my situation is so bad and so extreme. I never expected to be in this hell situation, could not have even fathomed it.

 

[LaughingGoat]

@LaughingGoat So you have actual hands on experience with guns? Or you just know about them from research?

I could only consider Peru if it were 100% and there was assurance that I could get there safely and find my way around. It's really a stupid idea.... you have to be in completely sound mind with decent health, and be a man or Hispanic woman. I'm grasping at straws as my situation is so bad and so extreme. I never expected to be in this hell situation, could not have even fathomed it.

Yes, I have experience with and own guns.

That makes sense, it's a difficult situation so you're best sticking with obtaining a method that you can do with some peace of mind.

 

[Idos]

@LaughingGoat So you have actual hands on experience with guns? Or you just know about them from research?

I could only consider Peru if it were 100% and there was assurance that I could get there safely and find my way around. It's really a stupid idea.... you have to be in completely sound mind with decent health, and be a man or Hispanic woman. I'm grasping at straws as my situation is so bad and so extreme. I never expected to be in this hell situation, could not have even fathomed it.

Why you need to be men? Wtf?