Ctb over silly reason

[namsakezoom]

My ex now with one of my friend and it's been 4 years since she left me i hate that she will never love me and I am a desperate looser who wants her back anyhow I want to ctb over it

 

[imastain]

I don't think somebody should commit suicide over something seemingly trivial. I don't mean to sound like a pro life normie but it's not worth hurting your family over something you can move on from with time.

 

[namsakezoom]

I don't think somebody should commit suicide over something seemingly trivial. I don't mean to sound like a pro life normie but it's not worth hurting your family over something you can move on from with time.

It's been 4 years that's what I m stuck at

 

[Richard Langford]

As you yourself say, its a silly reason.

 

[WatchmeBurn]

It's been 4 years that's what I m stuck at

I understand you've been feeling this pain for so long, but I do agree w/ the other person that something transient and potentially passing like this shouldn't be justification for killing yourself. I'm not saying it's trivial to move on from it, but it is doable.

I wonder, have you tried making new friends, meeting new people, and getting some distance/space from your ex and their new partner? Not even necessarily romantic ones-having good friendships in an engaging hobby can distract from heartache. Online dating is shit, but meeting potential romantic partners through hobbies and social events (not necessarily with the initial purpose of anything beyond making friends and having a good time) is perfectly doable in this day and age, still.

Not all relationships can work, even if there is love. It's sad, but that's the reality. The great thing about humans, though, is that they can move on and love again. Pretty much everyone will (romantically) love multiple people in their lives, after all.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I actually kind of hate it when people call other's reasons 'silly'. We don't know what it's like to be them. We don't know how badly the particular problem is affecting them and their chances of getting over it.

It's certainly tragic when we get fixated over one thing we can't seem to fix and, nothing else seems to compensate for it. Still, I think only the person themselves can fully guage what might help them and, if they actually want to be helped.

Plus obviously, they need to consider their own state of mind, how much experience they have in life to know what might or might not help them etc. Still- the motivation to at least consider trying needs to be there I feel.

I guess that's the key thing really in a way- do you want to be able to get over her?

 

[Richard Langford]

I actually kind of hate it when people call other's reasons 'silly'. We don't know what it's like to be them. We don't know how badly the particular problem is affecting them and their chances of getting over it.

It's certainly tragic when we get fixated over one thing we can't seem to fix and, nothing else seems to compensate for it. Still, I think only the person themselves can fully guage what might help them and, if they actually want to be helped.

Plus obviously, they need to consider their own state of mind, how much experience they have in life to know what might or might not help them etc. Still- the motivation to at least consider trying needs to be there I feel.

I guess that's the key thing really in a way- do you want to be able to get over her?

He calls it that himself.

 

[Forever Sleep]

He calls it that himself.

True, but I don't think that's always helpful either. In a discussion with a friend of my Mum's once, I kept calling my (limerent) crushes and other problems 'silly'. She was quick to point out that- if a problem was so big that it was affecting my quality of life, it really wasn't accurate to call it 'silly'.

I mean- fair enough if it works as a tactic for an individual. As in- 'This is silly- I'm not going to waste my time worrying about this... I'm certainly not going to kill myself over something so trivial.'

This clearly isn't the case for the OP though. It's clearly been upsetting enough for him for 4 years to lead him to consider taking his life over it. So the whole: 'This is silly' approach maybe isn't working so well! Probably better to go for the: 'This is f*cking up my life. What can I do about it?' approach.

From there- it's up to the individual really on whether they want to do something enough. If the OP truly does perceive it as 'silly'. Most especially a 'silly' motive to suicide over, maybe they will be motivated to do something.

I expect it's more likely they said it presuming other people would consider it 'silly' though. I think a lot of us do that here. Write in an almost apolegetic way- 'I realise my problems aren't as serious as others here' type of thing.

I think all we should be concerned about ultimately though is, that whatever it is that's troubled them has brought them to a forum discussing suicide. (That isn't trivial.) So now, how can we best support them? Personally, I prefer validation of the emotions that have brought me here (even if people don't understand the reasons) but, each to their own.

 

[Richard Langford]

True, but I don't think that's always helpful either. In a discussion with a friend of my Mum's once, I kept calling my (limerent) crushes and other problems 'silly'. She was quick to point out that- if a problem was so big that it was affecting my quality of life, it really wasn't accurate to call it 'silly'.

I mean- fair enough if it works as a tactic for an individual. As in- 'This is silly- I'm not going to waste my time worrying about this... I'm certainly not going to kill myself over something so trivial.'

This clearly isn't the case for the OP though. It's clearly been upsetting enough for him for 4 years to lead him to consider taking his life over it. So the whole: 'This is silly' approach maybe isn't working so well! Probably better to go for the: 'This is f*cking up my life. What can I do about it?' approach.

From there- it's up to the individual really on whether they want to do something enough. If the OP truly does perceive it as 'silly'. Most especially a 'silly' motive to suicide over, maybe they will be motivated to do something.

I expect it's more likely they said it presuming other people would consider it 'silly' though. I think a lot of us do that here. Write in an almost apolegetic way- 'I realise my problems aren't as serious as others here' type of thing.

I think all we should be concerned about ultimately though is, that whatever it is that's troubled them has brought them to a forum discussing suicide. (That isn't trivial.) So now, how can we best support them? Personally, I prefer validation of the emotions that have brought me here (even if people don't understand the reasons) but, each to their own.

Perhaps he should try putting some distance between him and the parties concerned - in terms of physical distance and different women. Generally extremely successful as a strategy re suchlike.

 

[GoSan1]

I am surprised people judge others on their reasons for ctb when they have no clue how the person feels about it. Such a reason can sound trivial to someone, but it could be hell for the person experiencing it. Thus you should not talk down the reason, but also not do anything erratic. If you don't fully feel like ending it, then it might be just another hard fight to win over...

Either way, by people's logic all our reasons are stupid because we can go through anything if a disability, sickness depression, and bpd, those are things people "can" go through, it is just not a life worth living for.

Follow your heart, not this Forum.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Perhaps he should try putting some distance between him and the parties concerned - in terms of physical distance and different women.

Yeah, that helped me get over my crazy limerent crushes. I used to kid myself I could still be friends with them/ still work with them but really, it would have been like opening up an old wound each time. Not like I even went out with these guys either!

Were you togethet long OP?

 

[Richard Langford]

Yeah, that helped me get over my crazy limerent crushes. I used to kid myself I could still be friends with them/ still work with them but really, it would have been like opening up an old wound each time. Not like I even went out with these guys either!

Were you togethet long OP?

I generally found if I was having fun with someone else and I'd physically distanced myself from the lady of the first part things improved quite rapidly.

 

[NitrogenAfternoon]

I am surprised people judge others on their reasons for ctb when they have no clue how the person feels about it. Such a reason can sound trivial to someone, but it could be hell for the person experiencing it. Thus you should not talk down the reason, but also not do anything erratic. If you don't fully feel like ending it, then it might be just another hard fight to win over...

Either way, by people's logic all our reasons are stupid because we can go through anything if a disability, sickness depression, and bpd, those are things people "can" go through, it is just not a life worth living for.

Follow your heart, not this Forum.

This. Heartbreak and loneliness is a void that leads to ctb and there is nothing silly or trivial about it. It's a lot to overcome, and I totally understand wanting to ctb over it. I am the same way.

 

[yellowjester]

Follow your heart, not this Forum.

"Follow your heart" lol. We're talking about someone ending their life here, not giving advice on which girl he should date, or which city to move to.

 

[Johnzaga23]

I am surprised people judge others on their reasons for ctb when they have no clue how the person feels about it. Such a reason can sound trivial to someone, but it could be hell for the person experiencing it. Thus you should not talk down the reason, but also not do anything erratic. If you don't fully feel like ending it, then it might be just another hard fight to win over...

Either way, by people's logic all our reasons are stupid because we can go through anything if a disability, sickness depression, and bpd, those are things people "can" go through, it is just not a life worth living for.

Follow your heart, not this Forum.

For real. for to consider a reason to CBT silly, there should be a less silly reason to live. One must carefully consider their reasonings and make the appropriate choices. One reason to live could be to not hurt your loved ones. But you cannot draw the line somewhere and say which reasons are silly and which are not and consider it universally true. Not everyone has the same will to live or reasons to live.

 

[GoSan1]

"Follow your heart" lol. We're talking about someone ending their life here, not giving advice on which girl he should date, or which city to move to.

By follow your heart, I meant that in the end they have to know for themselves if it is unbearable or not. Not to follow love and end their lives.

No one is in a position to tell someone to kill themselves, but neither are you in any position to tell the person their reason is "silly" or "trivial" when you have no clue what the person is going through.

This. Heartbreak and loneliness is a void that leads to ctb and there is nothing silly or trivial about it. It's a lot to overcome, and I totally understand wanting to ctb over it. I am the same way.

Exactly, loneliness drove people insane, and heartbreak especially brought onto by cheating can cause terrible things in somes head.

For real. for to consider a reason to CBT silly, there should be a less silly reason to live. One must carefully consider their reasonings and make the appropriate choices. One reason to live could be to not hurt your loved ones. But you cannot draw the line somewhere and say which reasons are silly and which are not and consider it universally true. Not everyone has the same will to live or reasons to live.

Exactly!

 

[Johnzaga23]

"Follow your heart" lol. We're talking about someone ending their life here, not giving advice on which girl he should date, or which city to move to.

Suicidal people, and all people in general, deserve to be treated with respect and consideration and to help them truly adress their issue, not to manipulate, guilt trip and trap them into existence giving them false reasonings because life good suicide bad. If you want them to live, you have to give them good reasons to live, that make sense, and are not manipulative.

 

[Richard Langford]

Suicidal people, and all people in general, deserve to be treated with respect and consideration and to help them truly adress their issue, not to manipulate, guilt trip and trap them into existence giving them false reasonings because life good suicide bad. If you want them to live, you have to give them good reasons to live, that make sense, and are not manipulative.

1. Physically create some distance from said ex and her BF. Don't put yourself in situations where you'll meet them. Ever.
2. Have fun with other women. Try a few. Have lots of fun. Maybe date one longer term.

Its really that simple.

 

[Johnzaga23]

1. Physically create some distance from said ex and her BF. Don't put yourself in situations where you'll meet them. Ever.
2. Have fun with other women. Try a few. Have lots of fun. Maybe date one longer term.

Its really that simple.

I think that OP has thought of that. I think what OP lacks is a reason to live and go on. The reason why people feel suicidal by such "silly" for you reasons is because they dont have a reason to live or didn't realize it yet. Its better to start from there and then adress how to change his life.

 

[jamie_]

My ex now with one of my friend and it's been 4 years since she left me i hate that she will never love me and I am a desperate looser who wants her back anyhow I want to ctb over it

real

 

[Pallf]

Bear with me here: Do you wish to CTB or do you wish for the pain you're feeling to go away? Yeah you could CTB and that would deal with the pain, but maybe it's possible to put distance between yourself and the friend/ex gf and you can continue living.
Don't get me wrong, if you wanna catch the bus I'm fine with that, just trying to figure out if that's what you truly want to do though.