Discussion Cutting

[Jynxer]

I need some advice.... I'm someone who used to cut, a lot. I have hundreds of scars between my arms and legs. It used to be my release from my inner pain/stresses.

Nowadays, I need a similar release... I've tried a cut or two here and there, only to realize that's not the way for me anymore. The last time I tried, was last week. And it just doesn't give me the same satisfying feeling.

The people who are cutting or used to will understand THAT feeling. I need to release this "pain" in some other way....

I'm someone who loves nature and goes for regular walks in my area ( which is a beautiful place for hikes and nature exploring) but it doesn't feel like the same release as when I used to cut. I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for getting that same feeling??

PS please don't suggest drugs lol

 

[AnonymouslyBlue]

I don't want to be a downer here and make you feel even more flustered and lost, but I don't think anything will quite make you feel as you do when you cut.

I used to and still do self harm from time to time, when things get too loud in my head but sometimes I catch myself feeling as you do, that it doesn't quite get that same euphoria as it used to unless I do something big, something permanently damaging. But when I get scared, or when I know that enough was enough and I couldn't continue on with harming myself out of fear that it would go too far, I found an outlet that works. It doesn't always work, but it does distract me long enough to not feel that need to cut, to feel that stinging sensation that I'm craving.

I'm an artist, a very recently graduated animator if you will so my release is drawing or creating something from my imagination and making it come to life. When self harm didn't feel like a good enough option, I force myself to sit down and sketch, anything, or everything until my hand would hurt and I'd be exhausted from putting my feelings onto a page. It distracted me, just long enough for me to not want to put the effort into harming myself.

I think maybe that's the only thing that can really help you (this is just me talking from my experience), you're not going to find another way to get that feeling, not unless you distract yourself first and create a habit that gets your mind off the need to harm.

So what makes you forget that urge? You say that walking in your area helps you, but you don't get that same intensity that you feel when you cut, maybe reach out, expand your horizon in the terms of location, not asking for help? Join a hiking group where when you walk your mind is full of other voices to help you from thinking back to how it doesn't feel the same as harming yourself.

And if you don't want to be around others, the pressure of "faking it" too much to cope with (I know the feeling), bring something along with you on your walks that can distract your mind to the point where you don't think about harming yourself.

I think (and again this only from my own experience) distraction is the only way to help that need.

I'm sorry that your feeling the way you do, it's a horrible itch that sometimes needs to be scratched and I'm sorry if what I've said hasn't helped. I wish you all my support through this horrible habit that is extremely hard to break, it's going to be hard but we're all here for you :) xx

 

[Bathsheba]

I don't want to be a downer here and make you feel even more flustered and lost, but I don't think anything will quite make you feel as you do when you cut.

I used to and still do self harm from time to time, when things get too loud in my head but sometimes I catch myself feeling as you do, that it doesn't quite get that same euphoria as it used to unless I do something big, something permanently damaging. But when I get scared, or when I know that enough was enough and I couldn't continue on with harming myself out of fear that it would go too far, I found an outlet that works. It doesn't always work, but it does distract me long enough to not feel that need to cut, to feel that stinging sensation that I'm craving.

I'm an artist, a very recently graduated animator if you will so my release is drawing or creating something from my imagination and making it come to life. When self harm didn't feel like a good enough option, I force myself to sit down and sketch, anything, or everything until my hand would hurt and I'd be exhausted from putting my feelings onto a page. It distracted me, just long enough for me to not want to put the effort into harming myself.

I think maybe that's the only thing that can really help you (this is just me talking from my experience), you're not going to find another way to get that feeling, not unless you distract yourself first and create a habit that gets your mind off the need to harm.

So what makes you forget that urge? You say that walking in your area helps you, but you don't get that same intensity that you feel when you cut, maybe reach out, expand your horizon in the terms of location, not asking for help? Join a hiking group where when you walk your mind is full of other voices to help you from thinking back to how it doesn't feel the same as harming yourself.

And if you don't want to be around others, the pressure of "faking it" too much to cope with (I know the feeling), bring something along with you on your walks that can distract your mind to the point where you don't think about harming yourself.

I think (and again this only from my own experience) distraction is the only way to help that need.

I'm sorry that your feeling the way you do, it's a horrible itch that sometimes needs to be scratched and I'm sorry if what I've said hasn't helped. I wish you all my support through this horrible habit that is extremely hard to break, it's going to be hard but we're all here for you :) xx

I agree with this.
When I self harm it's about the pain, for me it's about seeing blood and also the sense of self damage as it's to do with me feeling rubbish and worthless and punishing myself. Someone told me recently to do the elastic band round the wrist thing (twanging it) .. or holding ice in my hand.. but really those things would never make me feel the release.
I agree with the idea of being creative as a distraction. That's the same for me. Rather than damaging myself and making my body ugly, to create something beautiful from my imagination, whether it's a drawing, something with crafts or modelling it does sometimes work for me.

 

[BPD_LE]

Someone told me recently to do the elastic band round the wrist thing (twanging it) .. or holding ice in my hand.. but really those things would never make me feel the release.

That elastic band thing really is stupid. My wrist got so messed up, really bruised like I'd been banging it against the wall. Ice is rubbish too. Hot candle wax is good if you pour it in your hands and squeeze them together. Unfortunately I only have suggestions for things that cause pain without leaving marks, which isn't that helpful for recovery. I wish you luck and love in finding alternatives.

 

[Azzy69]

I self harmed for 4 years, and I've only just been clean for 6 months. Honestly, most coping mechanisms don't do shit. The only thing that helped me was throwing my blade away, so when the urge to cut came, I couldn't act on it, and those strong feelings and desires passed. It's worth a try if you haven't already. Though my opinion matters little.

 

[Forest Fire]

If you're physically capable, have you thought about some sort of combat sport? I've never cut myself, but this used to help me with some urges I have. There's boxing/mma gyms everywhere now.

 

[SlackJim]

maybe try a cold shower? won't be the same but it is a strong sensation that can take you out of your mind for a bit.

 

[Meretlein]

I'm someone who has cut myself to pieces too. I kind of wore myself out naturally but one thing that has helped me is lots of physical exercise during the day. It leaves me too tired to self harm when I am upset.

Just going for a run with my music works when I am upset too. So does eating or watching people destroy hornet's nests on youtube.

 

[After The End]

I cut all the time, and I sharpen stuff on a commercial basis so there is always something to cut with. Generally the alternatives people give are garbage. The only time in recent memory I haven't had the urge to self-harm was after breaking a bunch of ribs because all I had to do was move to cause myself a lot of pain. One thing that does give me a comparable feeling is working out to the point of pain. For example I used to cycle until I couldn't walk, and would have to crawl back inside. When I was doing that I never had the urge to self-harm.

But exercising requires energy and motivation. Cutting is extremely easy. It's something of a catch .22 that exercising helps with depression and self-destructive urges, but if you have the energy and motivation to exercise in the first place then your depression can't be all that bad, and if you care enough about yourself to do so then your self-destructive urges can't be all that bad either.

But for what it's worth exercising until you can barely move is, in theory at least, a good alternative to cutting yourself. Not necessarily a practical one though.

 

[Sharethepain]

Not gonna offer positive alternatives, but for me starving and burning worked instead of cutting. I burnt out a heart shape on my arm once, and sometimes I went a couple days without eating anything just to "punish" myself, it is a similiar kind of release, but I suppose it is subjective in the end.