Yeah, the idea of a cyclic or eternal return universe can be unsettling. Nietzsche talked about it from a philosophical standpoint. This notion that if time is infinite and matter is finite, then eventually everything will repeat, down to the exact detail. Pain, joy, trauma. Like reruns on a cosmic loop.
But from a physics standpoint? There's no consensus.
The Big Crunch โ Big Bounce model is one possibility. In that version, the universe collapses back on itself and then "rebounds" into another Big Bang. But whether consciousness survives or returns in that process? That's fear, or hope, depending on your perspective.
There's no evidence that your particular self would be reinstantiated. The laws of thermodynamics suggest that subjective consciousness isn't something that resurfaces like a saved game file.
And if it did? You wouldn't know it! You wouldn't remember this loop. It wouldn't be you again. It would just be another collection of atoms with a similar name and maybe a similar pain. Which is, in its own way, a kind of oblivion.
So your pain won't echo forever. You're not trapped in a feedback loop. You're here now, experiencing one unique timeline. What you do with it is yours.
Also: I get the "pleasure before passing" logic. That said, don't rush toward that just because you fear repeating this. You're not cursed to relive this pain forever. Even physics doesn't believe that.
